Cow Jokes

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Get ready to laugh ’til the cows come home with our collection of the best cow jokes! Perfect for animal lovers and comedy enthusiasts alike, these jokes offer a hilarious take on farm life and the quirky antics of cows. Whether you’re looking for a light-hearted pun, a moovelous one-liner, or just a reason to smile, our cow jokes are sure to deliver a dose of fun. Dive into a world of laughter and farmyard humor that’s guaranteed to make anyone’s day a little brighter and a lot more amusing.

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Cow jokes, with their udderly amusing puns and moovelous wordplay, provide a delightful escape into a world of farmyard humor that resonates with people of all ages. These jokes milk the funny side of one of the most beloved farm animals, creating a common ground for laughter and joy. Sharing cow jokes not only lightens the mood but also serves as a social glue, bonding individuals through the universal language of humor. Whether it’s a groan-worthy pun or a clever quip, cow jokes have the power to bring people together, fostering a sense of community and shared happiness in the simplest, most genuine way.

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Best Cow Jokes

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  • Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime!
  • Q: Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Their horns don’t work.
  • Q: What do you get from a short cow? Condensed milk.
  • Q: What is a cow’s favorite magazine? Moogue.
  • Q: What is a cow’s favorite movie series? Steer Wars.
  • Q: What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings? Cow-moo-flauged.
  • Q: How do cows laugh? Moo-haha.
  • Q: When cows get sick what do you call it? Hay Fever
  • Q: What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee? Over-calfinated.
  • Q: What do you call a grass-fed cow? A lawn moo-er.
  • Q: What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail? How dairy!
  • Q: How does lady gaga usually like her steak? Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!
  • Q: Why are cows such awesome dancers?  They’ve got all the right moo-ves!
  • Q: Why did the two cows not like each other? They had beef.
  • Q: How do cows introduce their wives?  Hey guys! Meat Patty.
  • Q: What kind of lunch meat do cows like best? A bull-ogna.
  • Q: What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen, but not herd.”
  • Q: Why did the cow want to get in the rocketship?  He wanted to go to udder space!
  • Q: What did the farmer say to lazy the cow? Just give me 2% milk.
  • Q: How do you count cows? With a cowculator!
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  • Q: What kind of math do farm animals like to do? Cowculus.
  • Q: What do you call a cow who can part water? Moo-ses.
  • Q: Who’s in charge of the dairy operations? The cow-ptain.
  • Q: What happens when you try talking to a cow? Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
  • Q: What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
  • Q: Where do cows go to get their medicine? The farm-acy!
  • Knock knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly, cows go moo!
  • Q: Where do Russian cows come from? Mos-cow.
  • Q: How would you address the queen of cows? Your Moojesty.
  • Q: Where do cows eat lunch? In the calfeteria.
  • Q: What math problems do cows like to solve? Moo-tiplication problems.
  • Q: Where did the cow spend all its money? At the cow-sino.
  • Q: What does a cow say when he’s surfing? “Cow-a-bunga!”
  • Q: What did one dairy cow say to the other? Got milk?
  • Q: Why don’t cows have money? Because farmers milk them dry
  • Q: Why did the cow get a massage? To re-hoove-inate.
  • Q: What does a surfing cow say? “Cowabunga!”
  • Q: What do you call a sad cow? Moo-dy.
  • Q: When you cross a smurf with a cow, what do you get? Blue cheese.
  • Q: What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow? An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood.
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  • Q: What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow? Milk of Amnesia.
  • Q: Why did the cow kick Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher
  • Q: What do you call a cow who just hit the lottery? A cash cow.
  • Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow-a-bunga, dude!
  • Q: What do you call a cow that can’t make milk? A milk dud.
  • Q: What do cows say when they apologize to one another? Sorry, I made a mis-steak.
  • Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat? A coat.
  • Q: How do you make a cow be quiet? Press the moo-te button.
  • Q: What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing? His shadow.
  • Q: What do cows read in the morning? The moos-paper
  • Q: How did the farmer find the missing cow? He tractor down.
  • Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow much longer will you put up with all this knocking?
  • Q: How do you know which cow is the best dancer? See which one has the best moo-ves.
  • Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh-MOO!
  • Q: What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef
  • Q: Where do steers go to dance? The Meat Ball
  • Q: Where do cows go on their days off? To a moo-seum.
  • Q: What does the cow band play? Moo-sic!
  • Q: Why was the cow afraid to leave the barn?  Because he’s a cow-ard.
  • Q: Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!
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  • Q: What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake? Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
  • Q: What is a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos.
  • Q: What do you call a cow after she has given birth? Decaffeinated
  • Q: What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow? Udder nonsense.
  • Q: What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline? A milkshake.
  • Q: What is a cow’s favorite type of play? A moo-sical!
  • Q: Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day? At McDonald’s.
  • Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef
  • Q: Where do cows get all their medicine? The farmacy!
  • Q: What do you get from pampered cows?  Spoiled milk
  • Q: Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes? He kept butchering every one.
  • Q: What does a cow watch? MooTube.
  • Q: Why do cows work? To make mooooney.
  • Q: What do you call sleeping male cattle? Bulldozers
  • Q: How did the cow get to the moon? It went to udder space.
  • Q: Why do cows tell each other jokes?  To keep themselves a-moo-sed.
  • Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way.
  • Q: How do you make Swiss cheese?  Use milk from a holey cow.
  • Q: What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak-out.
  • Q: What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? An udder failure.
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  • Q: What kind of shows do cows like best? Moosicals.
  • Q: What do you call a magic cow? Moo-dini.
  • Q: What do you call a hurt cow? Ow.
  • Q: What do cows put on french toast? Mooooolasses.
  • Q: What happens when a cow laughs? Milk comes out of its nose.
  • Q: What has the lone cow been up to lately? Nobody’s herd…
  • Q: How do dairy farmers do their taxes? They go to an accountant.
  • Q: Why are cows such great dancers? They have all the best moooves!
  • Q: Why did the cow ask for a telescope?  He wanted to see the Milky Way.
  • Q: What did the cow tell the butcher? Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.
  • Q: What do you call a cow in full armor? Sir Loin.
  • Q: What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn? They beefed up their security.
  • Q: What happened when the cow ran into the fence? It was udderly destructed.
  • Q: Why did the artist love painting cows? He said they were his moos.
  • Q: Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? He wanted chocolate milk!
  • Q: Why do cows want to see Times Square? Because it’s in Moo York City.
  • Q: What song do cows love to sing? I’ve got the mooooves like Jagger.
  • Q: What do you call a cruel cow? A de-moooon.
  • Q: What do you call a cow that eats grass? A lawn-mooer.
  • Q: What type of camera do cows use? Cow-non.
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