Funny Mother’s Day quotes add a touch of humor to the celebration, highlighting the lighter side of motherhood and the quirky, loving relationship between mothers and their children. Here are a few quotes to bring a smile to your mom’s face this Mother’s Day
Funny Mother’s Day quotes are a wonderful way to celebrate the lighter side of motherhood, bringing laughter and joy to an occasion that often tugs at the heartstrings. These humorous quotes acknowledge the challenges and quirks of raising children, offering a playful nod to the endless patience, love, and often overlooked detective skills of moms everywhere.
Sharing a funny quote on Mother’s Day can not only brighten your mom’s day but also remind her of the fun and laughter she brings into your life. It’s a unique way to say “I love you” while appreciating her countless roles, including being the family comedian, confidante, and everything in between.
Be sure to check out our Mother’s Day Funny Memes.
Funny Mother’s Day Quotes
“I can’t believe how much like my mother I turned out. I feel sorry for my kids.”
Melanie White
“The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.”
Carrie Underwood
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”
Erma Bombeck
“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.”
Peter De Vries
“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.”
Michelle Pfeiffer
“Twelve years later the memories of those nights, of that sleep deprivation, still make me rock back and forth a little bit. You want to torture someone? Hand them an adorable baby they love who doesn’t sleep.”
Shonda Rhimes
“Daughter: “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?” Mom: “I don’t know, honey, you’ll have to ask Grandma.”
Unknown
“It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”
Dorothy, The Golden Girls
“A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.”
Peter de Vries
“I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.”
Calvin, “Calvin and Hobbes”
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. Phyllis DillerI want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
Phyllis Diller
“Over the years, I learned that motherhood is much like an austere religious order, the joining of which obligates one to relinquish all claims to personal possessions.”
Nancy Stahl
Having a baby is just living in the constant unexpected, you never know when you’re gonna get crapped on or when you’re gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics.
Blake Lively
“When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.”
“You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again? At least one of them is always in there with you at all times.”
Jennifer Garner
“To be honest, I’m just winging it. Life, motherhood, my eye liner. Everything.” Unknown
“Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious.”
“Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.”
Dave Berry
“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
Calvin Trillin
“I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.”
“I’m not really a mama bear. I’m more of a mama llama. Like, I’m pretty chill, but I’ll kick you in the face if you screw with my kids.”
Scary Mommy
“I’m not really a mama bear. I’m more of a mama llama. Like, I’m pretty chill, but I’ll kick you in the face if you screw with my kids.”
Scary Mommy
“If I wasn’t at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man… and by ‘party,’ I mean, of course, endless rounds of ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.’”
Olivia Wilde
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
Milton Berle
“Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.”
Tina Fey
I’ve conquered a lot of things. Blood clots in my lungs – twice. Knee and foot surgeries. Winning grand slams being down match point, to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!
Serena Williams
“Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.”
One Project Closer
“Mom: Eat your vegetables. There are starving kids in Africa who have nothing to eat. Kid: Can we mail them my broccoli?”
“Children are like crazy, drunken small people in your house.”
Julie Bowen
“If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘Keep away from children.’”
Susan Savannah
“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
Tenneva Jordan
“Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that, for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.”
Nia Vardalos
“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”
Tim Allen
“[Having four kids is] endless stuff. It’s endless entertainment, it’s endless stress, endless responsibility. Everyone’s at different ages and levels, everyone’s into different stuff. But everyone is into slime.”
Maya Rudolph
“I’m a mom. I have a right to be lazy and braless whenever I find time to be.”
Meraki Mother
“The phrase ’working mother’ is redundant.”
Jane Sellman
“I’ve conquered a lot of things… blood clots in my lungs twice… knee and foot surgeries… winning Grand Slams being down match point… to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!”
Serena Williams
“You know your life has changed when… going to the grocery story by yourself is a vacation. “
Unknown
“Stop saying ‘we’re pregnant.’ You’re not pregnant. Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady hole? No.”
Mila Kunis
“I’ve conquered a lot of things… blood clots in my lungs, twice… kneed and foot surgeries… winning Grand Slams being down match point… to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!”
Serena Williams
“If you don’t know about ‘Baby Shark’ or ‘Let it Go,’ you need to turn in your parent card.”
“Raising a kid is part joy and part Guerilla warfare. “
Ed Asner
“When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument.”
C. S. Forester
“Motherhood: It takes patience, humor, and a lot of wet towelettes.”
Unknown
“Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.”
Amy Poehler
“Sometimes I stand there going, ‘I’m not doing any of this right!’ And then I get this big man belch of her and I go, ‘Ah, we accomplished this together.’”
Christina Applegate
“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”
Nora Ephron
“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”
Oscar Wilde