If you are looking for some of the best bedtime jokes for kids that will get them laughing themselves to sleep then you have come to the right place! These bedtime jokes are clean and perfect for kids and adults of all ages!
Bedtime can be a little chaotic especially when the kids don’t want to go to bed! Jokes are the perfect way to get them to climb into bed, snuggle and share a few laughs before they doze off for the night. With these bedtime jokes, your kids will be begging to go to bed every night. And if your kids are dragon lovers then these knock knock dragon jokes are a must!
Do your kids love jokes?
Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!
Grab your set now! There are over 50+ pages of jokes included! This is a digital download, so it is easy! Just download, print, and enjoy!
The Best Bedtime Jokes
Q: Do elephants snore?A: Only when they’re asleep.
Q: Why are dragons asleep during the day?A: So that they can fight knights.
Q: What should you do if you can’t go to sleep?A: You lie on the bed’s edge and soon you’ll drop off.
Q: What do you call it when your feet fall asleep and wouldn’t wake up?A: Coma-toes.
Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant in your bed?A: By the big E on his pyjamas.
Q: What do you call it when you dream about a waterbody filled with orange soda?A: A Fanta-sea.
Q: What is huge, grayish, and can send people to sleep?A: A hypno-potamus.
Q: Do you know what kind of dreams hotels have?A: Suite dreams.
Q: What animal goes to bed with it’s shoes on?A: A horse
Q: What happens when you dream of someone shouting “On your mark…get set…”?A: You wake up with a start!
Q: Why does the man eat yeast and shoe polish before he goes to sleep?A: So that he can rise and shine.
Q: Why won’t I tell you about my dream that has a lion, a witch, and a wardrobe?A: Because it is Narnia business.
Q: What did Bruce Wayne’s mommy put over his crib?A: A bat mobile.
Q: What do you call it when you get a movie role where you’re paid to sleep?A: Your dream job.
Q: Why did the man run around his bed?A: He wanted to catch up on his sleep!
Q: What happened to the girl who was dreaming that she ate a huge marshmallow?A: She woke up to find half her pillow gone!
Q: What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?A: A cookie sheet!
Q: What do you call it when you dream in color?A: A pigment of your imagination.
Q: Do you know at what time tennis players go to sleep?A: At ten-nish.
Q: How can you make your dreams clearer?A: Wear contact lenses to bed.
Q: What do scuba divers wear to bed?A: A snore-kel!
Q: What do sheep count when they can’t sleep?A: People.
Q: What does a dog do when he goes to bed?A: He reads a bite-time story.
Q: What happens when you dream that you wrote ‘The Lord Of The Rings’?A: You start Tolkien in your sleep.
Q: How often should you sleep in a tower?A: Every fortnight.
Q: Why are people with insomnia some of the coolest?A: Because they’re up for anything.
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite bedtime story?A: Little Boo Peep!
Q: What do you call a giant mammal of the bison family that dwells in the mountains but can’t sleep?A: An insomni-yak.
Q: What happens if you sleep on your smartphone?A: You download a nap.
Q: What happens when you don’t know whether you have insomnia or amnesia?A: You lose sleep trying to remember which one you have.
Q: When is the perfect time for the cattle to go to sleep?A: Pasture bedtime.
Q: Why is insomnia not a joke?A: Because people are losing sleep over it.
Q: What should you do if you find a giant snake sleeping in your bed?A: Sleep in the wardrobe!
Q: What do you call a horse who has insomnia and keeps you awake?A: A nightmare.
Q: How will you prove that you are not a light sleeper?A: Go sleep in the dark.
Q: Do you know what’s common between insomnia and cashiers?A: They will both give you bags and make you wretchedly uncomfortable.
Q: When does a bed grow longer?A: At night, because two feet are added to it.
Q: Why is insomnia considered to be illegal in many places?A: Because it amounts to resisting a-rest.
Q: Why did the girl take a ruler with her to bed?A: To see how long she sleeps.
Q: How do you confirm that you have insomnia?A: You know that the farmer has 897 sheep.
Q: Where do books like to sleep?A: Under their covers!
Q: What do you call it when you keep eating while you can’t sleep?A: Insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nia!
Q: How do you make a baby alien go to sleep?A: You rocket.
Q: What do you do with an elephant who has trouble sleeping?A: You give it a trunk-quilizer.
Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?A: A waterbed.
Q: How does a man survive who’s locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar?A: He drinks water from the bed’s springs and eats dates from the calendar.
Q: Where do burgers go to sleep?A: On a bed of lettuce.
Q: What do you do when you see a bus with 100 lawyers stuck on a bed of quicksand?A: You let that sink in…
Q: Which letter is the laziest in the alphabet?A: E, because it’s always in bed!
Q: Which time of the year does a bed like the most?A: Spring break.
Q: Why are flowers so lazy?A: Because they’re always in a bed.
Q: What do you call someone who climbs into your bed and asks very specific questions?A: An undercover cop.
Q: How do you stop sleepwalking?A: You stick drawing pins on the floor of the bedroom.
Q: How do you write a story about your bed?A: You make it yourself.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?A: Because he wanted sweet dreams!
Q: Why is Simba the last of the pride to get out of bed every time?A: Because he is a lie-in king.
Q: Why did the band’s guitarist pass out on stage?A: Because he rocked himself to sleep.
Q: What did Papa cow read to the baby cow before going to bed?A: Dairy tales.
Q: How do baby bats learn to sleep upside down?A: They slowly get the hang of it.
Q: Which is the best season for bed bugs to get married?A: The Spring.
Q: What happens when you sleep on pillows with corduroy cases?A: They make headlines.
Q: Why is it difficult to get any specific information out of a bedding expert?A: Because they are always making blanket statements.
Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?A: So he could have sweet dreams!
Q: Where do lawyers go to buy a bed?A: A mattress firm.
Q: Why do bicycles fall over?A: Because they are two-tired!
Q: Why should you splurge on an expensive mattress for your bed?A: So that you can have your dream vacation.
Q: What do you call it when you sleep next to a close relative?A: Nap-kin.
Q: Why should professional rock-climbers take a course in mattress making?A: So that they have something to fall back on.
Q: How can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?A: Sleep at night.
Q: What do you call a sleepy truck?A: Tired
Q: What do you call a very sleepy egg?A: Eggs-hausted.
Q: How do you know when someone is sleeping like a log?A: When you hear them sawing.
Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?A: A dino-snore!
Q: What is a sleepy dragon’s favorite steak?A: A flaming yawn.
Q: Which art supply will make you tired?A: A cra-yawn.
Q: What do you call a sleeping pizza?A: A piZZZZZZa.
Q: What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?A: A stega-snore-us.
Q: What do you do when someone is tired and doesn’t know how to nap?A: You give them a crash course.
Q: What do you do when you’re tired of hearing someone’s boring herb jokes?A: You tell them that it’s thyme to stop.
Q: Where do tired people go to buy their food?A: A grocery snore.
Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed?A: Find somewhere else to sleep!
Q: What do you call a music concert with a tired audience?A: Lollapasnooza.
Q: What’s another name for a sleeping bag?A: A nap sack.
Q: Where do dolphins sleep?A: In water beds.
Q: What do you call a tired herbivore?A: A Zzzzebra.
Q: What do you call a conference with tired delegates?A: A snooze fest.
Q: What happens to a man who runs behind a car?A: He gets exhausted.
Q: Where do Fortniters sleep?A: In a nite fort!
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?A: In their flowerbed.
Q: Where does a spy sleep?A: Undercover!
Q: Do you know why mountains are always tired?A: Because they don’t Everest.
Q: What do you call a person who is tired of playing card games?A: Cardboard.
Q: What would you call a skeleton that’s very tired?A: A Grim Sleeper.
Q: Why is it so tiring to fix a toilet?A: Because the work is draining.
Q: What would you call a sleeping bull?A: A bulldozer!
Q: What would you call a sleeping werewolf?A: An unaware wolf.
Q: Where does a tiger sleep?A: Anywhere he wants to!
Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks!A: So his feet wouldn’t fall asleep!
Q: Why is sleeping so easy?A: Because you can do it with your eyes shut!
Q: Why did the man run around his bed?A: To catch up on his sleep.
Q: Why did the pharmacist tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?A: Because he didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills!
Q: What do you call it when a king and queen size mattress has a baby?A: An heir mattress.
Q: How do you make yourself fall asleep faster?A: You decorate your bedroom like a classroom!
Q: What do you call it when a mass of white wool snores on a field?A: A sleep.
Q: How did the sheep bring herself to sleep?A: She counted her friends!
Q: What do you call a rock band whose members are in deep sleep?A: Snore Patrol.
Q: Why did the tree need to take a nap?A: For rest.
Q: What do you call a person who snores a lot?A: A sound sleeper.
Q: Why do people take naps on the toilet?A: Because it’s a restroom!
Q: What do you call a dessert made of Graham crackers, marshmallow, and chocolate?A: S’nores.
Q: What do you call a woodcutter who fell asleep?A: A slumberjack.
Q: Why should you always be quiet in church?A: Because people might be sleeping!
Q: What happened to the woman after she fell asleep with her head under the pillow?A: The fairies took all her teeth out!
Q: Why was night baseball started?A: Because bats like to sleep in the daytime.
Q: Why was the special agent sleeping on the job?A: He was under cover…
Q: Do you know where all the fish fell asleep?A: On the seabed.
Q: Which dinosaur makes the most noise while he is sleeping?A: A Tyrannosnorus.
Q: What happened when the boy fell asleep on a bed of sugar?A: He had sweet dreams.
Q: What do you find butterflies asleep on?A: Caterpillows.
Q: Why did the boy wake up with a puzzled look on his face?A: Because he fell asleep on a crossword.
Do you have a funny bedtime joke? Don’t forget to share it in the comments so that we can add it to the list!
Love Jokes? Laugh with These!
- Dragon Jokes for Kids
- Dragon knock-knock jokes
- Kindness Joke and Kindness Memes
- Bedtime Jokes
- Mountain Jokes for Kids
- Mermaid Jokes
- Rainbow Jokes
- Spy Jokes for Kids
- Butterfly Jokes for Kids
- Bear Knock-knock jokes
- Donut Jokes
- Cupcake Jokes for Kids
- Forest Jokes for Kids
- Train Jokes for Kids
- Banana Jokes for Kids
- Mouse Jokes for Kids
- Chocolate Jokes for Kids
- Piano Jokes for Kids
- Magnet Jokes for Kids
- Batman Jokes for Kids
- Golf Knock Knock Jokes
- Birthday Jokes for Kids
- Pirate Jokes for Kids
- Brain Jokes for Kids
- Jokes for Kids to Tell at School
- Mom Jokes for Kids
- What Am I Jokes for Kids
- Teacher Jokes for Kids
- Unicorn Jokes for Kids
- Pickle Jokes for Kids
- Funny Turkey Jokes for Kids
- Funny Fall Jokes for Kids
- Summer Jokes for Kids
- Candy Jokes for Kids+ Candy Puns
- Swimming Jokes for Kids + Fun Puns
- Pizza Jokes for Kids
- Tooth Jokes for Kids
- Lion Jokes for Kids
- Gnome Jokes for Kids
- Tomato Puns and Jokes
- Alaska Jokes for Kids
- Hotel Jokes for Kids
- Ostrich Jokes for Kids
- Dinosaur Jokes for Kids
- Frog Jokes for Kids
- Skateboard Jokes for Kids
- Zoo Jokes for Kids
- Volcano Jokes for Kids
- Camel Jokes for Kids
- Watermelon Jokes for Kids
- Firefighter Jokes for Kids
- Viking Jokes for Kids
- Zombie Jokes for Kids
- Family-Friendly Jokes for Kids
- Rodent Puns and Jokes
- Pumpkin Jokes for Kids
- Thanksgiving for Kids
- Pea Jokes
- Christmas Jokes for Kids
- Vegetable Jokes for Kids
- Clam Jokes
- Poodles Jokes
Don’t forget to subscribe to our email list so that you know when we add more great jokes to the site that will leave you laughing for hours!
How Do I Access My Joke Cards?
Fill in the form above. You will receive an email in your inbox. If you don’t see it check your spam folder! You will then click to confirm your subscription. Once confirmed, you will be taken to Airtable (a different website) where all our free printables will be waiting for you! It is free to sign up for Air Table!
How Do I Print A PDF?
You’ll need a program that supports PDFs. Adobe Acrobat is a great option. Open the program, click file, then print. Select your printer and the number of copies you want to print. Be sure you click double-sided if you want it to print on both sides.
Can I Resell These?
You may not resell any printable that you find on our website or in our resource library. You may use them for class parties, at church, at home, or in the classroom. You may get these printed at an office supply store or copy center at your own expense.