Funny Bedtime Jokes for Kids That Aren’t Boring!

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If you are looking for some of the best bedtime jokes for kids that will get them laughing themselves to sleep then you have come to the right place! These bedtime jokes are clean and perfect for kids and adults of all ages!

bedtime jokes for kids with a father reading jokes to daughter

Bedtime can be a little chaotic especially when the kids don’t want to go to bed! Jokes are the perfect way to get them to climb into bed, snuggle and share a few laughs before they doze off for the night. With these bedtime jokes, your kids will be begging to go to bed every night. And if your kids are dragon lovers then these knock knock dragon jokes are a must!

Do your kids love jokes?

Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!

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The Best Bedtime Jokes

Pinterest Image: dad and daughter sharing Bedtime jokes

Q: Do elephants snore?

A: Only when they’re asleep.
bedtime jokes question: Do elephants snore? A: Only when they're asleep. Elephant on a blue background

Q: Why are dragons asleep during the day?

A: So that they can fight knights.

Q: What should you do if you can’t go to sleep?

A: You lie on the bed’s edge and soon you’ll drop off.

Q: What do you call it when your feet fall asleep and wouldn’t wake up?

A: Coma-toes.

Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant in your bed?

A: By the big E on his pyjamas.

Q: What do you call it when you dream about a waterbody filled with orange soda?

A: A Fanta-sea.

Q: What is huge, grayish, and can send people to sleep?

A: A hypno-potamus.
 
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Q: Do you know what kind of dreams hotels have?

A: Suite dreams.

Q: What animal goes to bed with it’s shoes on?

A: A horse

Q: What happens when you dream of someone shouting “On your mark…get set…”?

A: You wake up with a start!
bedtime jokes question: What happens when you dream of someone shouting “On your mark...get set...”? You wake up with a start! man sleeping on pillow with a blue background

Q: Why does the man eat yeast and shoe polish before he goes to sleep?

A: So that he can rise and shine.

Q: Why won’t I tell you about my dream that has a lion, a witch, and a wardrobe?

A: Because it is Narnia business.

Q: What did Bruce Wayne’s mommy put over his crib?

A: A bat mobile.

Q: What do you call it when you get a movie role where you’re paid to sleep?

A: Your dream job.

Q: Why did the man run around his bed?

A: He wanted to catch up on his sleep!

Q: What happened to the girl who was dreaming that she ate a huge marshmallow?

A: She woke up to find half her pillow gone!

Q: What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?

A: A cookie sheet!

Q: What do you call it when you dream in color?

A: A pigment of your imagination.

Q: Do you know at what time tennis players go to sleep?

A: At ten-nish.

Q: How can you make your dreams clearer?

A: Wear contact lenses to bed.
How can you make your dreams clearer? A: Wear contact lenses to bed. A boy sleeping in bed dreaming of a kid swinging from the moon on a blue background

Q: What do scuba divers wear to bed?

A: A snore-kel!

Q: What do sheep count when they can’t sleep?

A: People.

Q: What does a dog do when he goes to bed?

A: He reads a bite-time story.

Q: What happens when you dream that you wrote ‘The Lord Of The Rings’?

A: You start Tolkien in your sleep.

Q: How often should you sleep in a tower?

A: Every fortnight.

Q: Why are people with insomnia some of the coolest?

A: Because they’re up for anything.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite bedtime story?

A: Little Boo Peep!

Q: What do you call a giant mammal of the bison family that dwells in the mountains but can’t sleep?

A: An insomni-yak.

Q: What happens if you sleep on your smartphone?

A: You download a nap.

Q: What happens when you don’t know whether you have insomnia or amnesia?

A: You lose sleep trying to remember which one you have.
What happens when you don’t know whether you have insomnia or amnesia? A: You lose sleep trying to remember which one you have. Man shrugging to solve 1+1 and a picture of a brain on a blue background

Q: When is the perfect time for the cattle to go to sleep?

A: Pasture bedtime.

Q: Why is insomnia not a joke?

A: Because people are losing sleep over it.

Q: What should you do if you find a giant snake sleeping in your bed?

A: Sleep in the wardrobe!

Q: What do you call a horse who has insomnia and keeps you awake?

A: A nightmare.

Q: How will you prove that you are not a light sleeper?

A: Go sleep in the dark.

Q: Do you know what’s common between insomnia and cashiers?

A: They will both give you bags and make you wretchedly uncomfortable.
 
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Q: When does a bed grow longer?

A: At night, because two feet are added to it.

Q: Why is insomnia considered to be illegal in many places?

A: Because it amounts to resisting a-rest.

Q: Why did the girl take a ruler with her to bed?

A: To see how long she sleeps.

Q: How do you confirm that you have insomnia?

A: You know that the farmer has 897 sheep.
How do you confirm that you have insomnia? A: You know that the farmer has 897 sheep. Woman in bed with eyes open and sheep around her on a purple background

Q: Where do books like to sleep?

A: Under their covers!

Q: What do you call it when you keep eating while you can’t sleep?

A: Insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nia!

Q: How do you make a baby alien go to sleep?

A: You rocket.

Q: What do you do with an elephant who has trouble sleeping?

A: You give it a trunk-quilizer.

Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?

A: A waterbed.

Q: How does a man survive who’s locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar?

A: He drinks water from the bed’s springs and eats dates from the calendar.

Q: Where do burgers go to sleep?

A: On a bed of lettuce.

Q: What do you do when you see a bus with 100 lawyers stuck on a bed of quicksand?

A: You let that sink in…

Q: Which letter is the laziest in the alphabet?

A: E, because it’s always in bed!

Q: Which time of the year does a bed like the most?

A: Spring break.
Which time of the year does a bed like the most? A: Spring break. A bed and a clock on a blue background

Q: Why are flowers so lazy?

A: Because they’re always in a bed.

Q: What do you call someone who climbs into your bed and asks very specific questions?

A: An undercover cop.

Q: How do you stop sleepwalking?

A: You stick drawing pins on the floor of the bedroom.

Q: How do you write a story about your bed?

A: You make it yourself.

Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

A: Because he wanted sweet dreams!

Q: Why is Simba the last of the pride to get out of bed every time?

A: Because he is a lie-in king.

Q: Why did the band’s guitarist pass out on stage?

A: Because he rocked himself to sleep.

Q: What did Papa cow read to the baby cow before going to bed?

A: Dairy tales.

Q: How do baby bats learn to sleep upside down?

A: They slowly get the hang of it.

Q: Which is the best season for bed bugs to get married?

A: The Spring.
Which is the best season for bed bugs to get married?  A: The Spring. Two bedbugs with a just married sign on a blue background

Q: What happens when you sleep on pillows with corduroy cases?

A: They make headlines.

Q: Why is it difficult to get any specific information out of a bedding expert?

A: Because they are always making blanket statements.

Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?

A: So he could have sweet dreams!

Q: Where do lawyers go to buy a bed?

A: A mattress firm.

Q: Why do bicycles fall over?

A: Because they are two-tired!

Q: Why should you splurge on an expensive mattress for your bed?

A: So that you can have your dream vacation.

Q: What do you call it when you sleep next to a close relative?

A: Nap-kin.

Q: Why should professional rock-climbers take a course in mattress making?

A: So that they have something to fall back on.

Q: How can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?

A: Sleep at night.

Q: What do you call a sleepy truck?

A: Tired
What do you call a sleepy truck? A: Tired. Red van with drowsy eyes on a blue background

Q: What do you call a very sleepy egg?

A: Eggs-hausted.

Q: How do you know when someone is sleeping like a log?

A: When you hear them sawing.

Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A: A dino-snore!

Q: What is a sleepy dragon’s favorite steak?

A: A flaming yawn.

Q: Which art supply will make you tired?

A: A cra-yawn.

Q: What do you call a sleeping pizza?

A: A piZZZZZZa.

Q: What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?

A: A stega-snore-us.

Q: What do you do when someone is tired and doesn’t know how to nap?

A: You give them a crash course.

Q: What do you do when you’re tired of hearing someone’s boring herb jokes?

A: You tell them that it’s thyme to stop.

Q: Where do tired people go to buy their food?

A: A grocery snore.
Where do tired people go to buy their food? A: A grocery snore. Tired woman in red pajamas and an aisle of food on a purple background

Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed?

A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Q: What do you call a music concert with a tired audience?

A: Lollapasnooza.

Q: What’s another name for a sleeping bag?

A: A nap sack.

Q: Where do dolphins sleep?

A: In water beds.

Q: What do you call a tired herbivore?

A: A Zzzzebra.

Q: What do you call a conference with tired delegates?

A: A snooze fest.

Q: What happens to a man who runs behind a car?

A: He gets exhausted.

Q: Where do Fortniters sleep?

A: In a nite fort!

Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

A: In their flowerbed.

Q: Where does a spy sleep?

A: Undercover!
Where does a spy sleep? A: Undercover! Woman with sunglasses and detective hat holding a Top Secret folder on a  purple background.

Q: Do you know why mountains are always tired?

A: Because they don’t Everest.

Q: What do you call a person who is tired of playing card games?

A: Cardboard.

Q: What would you call a skeleton that’s very tired?

A: A Grim Sleeper.

Q: Why is it so tiring to fix a toilet?

A: Because the work is draining.

Q: What would you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

Q: What would you call a sleeping werewolf?

A: An unaware wolf.

Q: Where does a tiger sleep?

A: Anywhere he wants to!

Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks!

A: So his feet wouldn’t fall asleep!

Q: Why is sleeping so easy?

A: Because you can do it with your eyes shut!

Q: Why did the man run around his bed?

A: To catch up on his sleep.
Why did the man run around his bed? A: To catch up on his sleep. A woman in workout clothes running around her bed on a blue background

Q: Why did the pharmacist tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: Because he didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills!

Q: What do you call it when a king and queen size mattress has a baby?

A: An heir mattress.

Q: How do you make yourself fall asleep faster?

A: You decorate your bedroom like a classroom!

Q: What do you call it when a mass of white wool snores on a field?

A: A sleep.

Q: How did the sheep bring herself to sleep?

A: She counted her friends!

Q: What do you call a rock band whose members are in deep sleep?

A: Snore Patrol.

Q: Why did the tree need to take a nap?

A: For rest.

Q: What do you call a person who snores a lot?

A: A sound sleeper.

Q: Why do people take naps on the toilet?

A: Because it’s a restroom!

Q: What do you call a dessert made of Graham crackers, marshmallow, and chocolate?

A: S’nores.
What do you call a dessert made of Graham crackers, marshmallow, and chocolate? A: S’nores. Crackers, marshmallow, and chocolate on a blue plate on a blue background

Q: What do you call a woodcutter who fell asleep?

A: A slumberjack.

Q: Why should you always be quiet in church?

A: Because people might be sleeping!

Q: What happened to the woman after she fell asleep with her head under the pillow?

A: The fairies took all her teeth out!

Q: Why was night baseball started?

A: Because bats like to sleep in the daytime.

Q: Why was the special agent sleeping on the job?

A: He was under cover…

Q: Do you know where all the fish fell asleep?

A: On the seabed.

Q: Which dinosaur makes the most noise while he is sleeping?

A: A Tyrannosnorus.

Q: What happened when the boy fell asleep on a bed of sugar?

A: He had sweet dreams.

Q: What do you find butterflies asleep on?

A: Caterpillows.

Q: Why did the boy wake up with a puzzled look on his face?

A: Because he fell asleep on a crossword.
Why did the boy wake up with a puzzled look on his face? A: Because he fell asleep on a crossword. Boy stretching and yawning in bed on a blue background

Do you have a funny bedtime joke? Don’t forget to share it in the comments so that we can add it to the list!

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