105 Clock Puns That Won’t Tick Anyone Off Just Help Pass the Time

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If you are searching for some good clock puns, you are right on time for some good laughs. You are guaranteed these won’t be a waste of time. In fact, they are so good you may just see time fly!

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We love a good joke and pun. They are the perfect way to connect and really laugh with your friends and family. We use them all the time to break the ice or lighten the mood when there is a little tension in the air.

Don’t worry; these clock puns won’t leave you asking your friend hour you doing because you are worried you are wasting their time! Because you will see them chuckle and laugh with every pun that ticks by.

If you are worried about ticking off mom or dad with a cringy clock puns or clock jokes, no worries, these are clean and friendly and they won’t leave anyone ticked off! So if you want to see time fly, just sit around and see if you can alarm your friends and family with laughter with these fun clock jokes and puns.

If you are looking for even more puns, be sure to visit our art puns and our space puns for even more giggles and laughs.

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Clock Puns

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  • Q: How did the street clock address the tower clock? “High there!”
  • Q: What did the second hand say to the hour and minute hand? “See you around in a minute, guys.”
  • Q: What did the wall clock do after it stopped ticking? It just hanged around.
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  • Q: What did tick ask the clock? “What are you tocking about!”
  • Q: What happens when a clock is hungry? It always goes back four seconds.
  • Q: What is a belt made of clocks called? Waist of time.
  • Q: What is a clever clock called? A clockwise.
  • Q: What is a grandfather clock called? An old-timer.
  • Q: What do Time Clocks like to play? Tick Tock Toe.
  • Q: What would you get if the clock and chicken cross paths? A cluck.
  • Q: Where did the clock finish the race? Probably wherever it wound up.
  • Q: Why did the jailer throw the clock out the window? Because it wanted to see time fly.
  • Q: Why do you think the man kept a clock under his work desk? Because he hoped to work overtime.
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  • Q: Why do you think there was a clock in the forest? Because it was a time-out.
  • Q: Why should you never eat a clock? Because it is a time-consuming process.
  • Q: What will happen if you annoy a clock? It will get ticked off!
  • A teacher sent the clock to the principal’s office. The reason was, it kept tocking too much.
  • Digital clock entered happily in the room and excitedly said to its grandfather clock, “Look, grandpa, I have no hands”.
  • I am so sure that the clock is hungry. It goes back four seconds.
  • If you play a clock in a drama, you might just end up in a time-consuming act.
  • I know when my clock is annoyed. It always gets ticked off.
orange alarm clock with green border with a clock pun
  • My friend finally thought of a clock joke. It is about time!
  • My friend thought of repairing the clock today, but it was time-consuming, so he quit.
  • My grandfather’s pendulum stopped moving out of nowhere. I think it lost its swing.
  • My mother has a fascinating, tense clock. But it is all wound up.
  • My small brother came running to the room and threw the clock out the window. He wanted to see time fly.
  • One clock narrated the story of his clock friend to another clock. It was second-hand information.
  • One of my classmates was measuring the clock. When I asked him why he was doing it, he said, “The history teacher had asked him to check the beginning and end of the time”.
  • How would I react if you get me an alarm clock as a gift? I’d be alarmed.
  • Q: What would an unwound clock say to the owner? It’s about time, boss.
  • Q: Why couldn’t you keep the alarm clock in a jail? Because it kept running out.
  • Q: Why did the cuckoo come out of its little clock door? Because it was its time to shine.
  • Q: Why do I put the alarm clock in my shoe? I don’t want my foot to fall asleep.
  • Q: Why should you never dress up as an alarm clock at a fancy dress party? People might end up winding you up.
  • Q: What time would it be if an Elephant sat on the watch? It sure would be a time to buy a new watch.
  • Q: What would a watch ask the clock? “Hour you doing?”
  • Q: Which candy is never on time? Choco-late.
  • Q: Which dog will always know what time it is? A watchdog, duh!
  • Q: Why did the boy hold his watch in front of the mirror? Because it was reflection time.
  • Q: Why do you think the scientist immersed his watch in the flask? He wanted to achieve a timely solution.
  • Q: What would a clock look like with no numbers? Timeless
  • Q: Why would a tardy man stop and purchase a watch? Because he was hoping to buy time.
  • Here’s what I think about going online and buying a clock. Thinking about it too is just time-consuming.
  • I saw a billboard with a watch on it. I think it was a sign of the time.
  • My sister was nervous as she sat on her watch. When I asked her, she said, “Mommy wanted me to be on time”.
  • My sister was running out of time, so she bought a lot of watches. Now she has a lot of time on her hand.
  • Q: Why was the clock in a hurry? It was running out of time.
  • Ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.
  • Q: What does a clock do when it is hungry even after eating a meal? It goes back four seconds.
  • Q: What do you call a story that one clock tells to another? Second hand information.
  • Once I tried to make a belt out of watches. I found out it was a big waist of time.
  • Q: Why did the man sit on his clock? He wanted to be on time.
  • Q: We named our dog Rolex. Why? He’s a watchdog.
  • Q: Why did the scientist drop a wrist watch into his flask? He was looking for a timely solution.
  • Q: Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
  • Q: What happens when you annoy a clock? It gets ticked off.
  • Most clock-makers are normal. Some are cuckoo.
  • Q: What did the robber say to the clock? Hands up!
  • Q: What’s tall, wooden and complains about all of today’s digital gadgets? A grandfather clock.
  • They should replace batons with clocks in relay races. It would be a great way to pass the time.
  • Q: What do you call a clock made out of records? It’s the vinyl countdown.
  • Q: Why do the guards around Big Ben always look so tired? Because they’re working around the clock.
  • They’re finally making a movie called “Clocks”. It’s about time.
  • I recently changed my alarm clock music to a Justin Bieber song. Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day so that I don’t have to listen to it.
  • For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping. That was quite a rude awakening.
  • Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one… And the other two escaped with minor injuries.
  • Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, be sure to lift your left leg. That way you will start off the new year on the right foot.
  • Why did the clock get fat? It kept going for seconds.
  • Why was the clock afraid it would get sick? Because its hands were constantly touching its face.
  • As a hobby, my dad keeps stabbing clocks with his knife. He says it’s a fun way to kill time.
  • I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasn’t arrived yet. Boy, it’s taking its sweet time getting here.
  • My friend has this weird addiction where he walks into a room and takes the batteries out of all the clocks. He claims he can stop any time he wants to.
  • Q: Can a clock make a flea fly? No, but it can make a tick talk.
  • Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school? Sources say that the teachers were alarmed.
  • In my community we have a neighborhood watch. It’s actually more like a clock tower.
  • Q: What did the Nazi interrogater say to the clock that would only tic? “Ve have vays of making you tock!”
  • Interesting to hear about plans to install a clock face on the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It will have the time and the inclination.
  • Q: What time is it when it turns 13 O clock? Time to get a new watch.
  • What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom? Watch out!!!
  • Hour you doing?
  • Do you know, the duck wakes up at the quack of the dawn?
  • I told my friends that 6.30 am is hands down the best time of the day.
  • It is never good to talk about secrets around a watch because time will tell.
  • My teacher said she would tell a great time travel joke yesterday.
  • Nana said it was time to reflect, so I stood in front of the mirror with the wristwatch in one of my hands.
  • The watchdog sat on a pin. I am sure it was springtime for him.
  • Very few people in my neighborhood beat the clock to kill their time.
  • You’ve got me all wound up.
  • If I asked you out, would I strike one?
  • You ring my bell.
  • Clock blocked.
  • The clock humor may prove to be timely.
  • That’s alarming.
  • You ticked me off!
  • Rings a bell.
  • Face up to what you’ve done!
  • Sorry for ticking you off.
  • If I worked in a clock shop, I’d have the time of my life.
  • I smashed a clock; the policeman wanted to arrest me for killing time.
  • I love you big time.
  • On any clock, 11:59:59 am is my favorite time of day. It’s second to noon.
  • I heard that the British Horological Society was looking for nominations for new members, so I put my clocks forward.
  • “At the third stroke, it will be six o’clock, my precious.” My new Tolkein Clock.
  • The only animal that understands time is a watch dog.

Do you have some more favorite clock puns? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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