There is always a good time for candy jokes for kids! They are perfect for road tripping, riding bikes, or when you are enjoying a lollipop! These are clean and fun and perfect for any occasion!
I haven’t met a kid that doesn’t love a good joke or candy, so we decided to combine the two with these fun candy jokes for kids! They are sure to put a smile on anyone’s face and get everyone around laughing!
Don’t worry, these jokes won’t leave you in a sticky situation because they are are kids-friendly and super clean! No more cringing at that punchline!
While your kids are looking for fun jokes be sure to introduce them to our peanut knock knock jokes and our cheesy pizza jokes.
Do your kids love jokes?
Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!
Grab your set now! There are over 50+ pages of jokes included! This is a digital download, so it is easy! Just download, print, and enjoy!
The Best Candy Jokes For Kids
Q: Why did the blonde put a candy bar under her pillow?A: She wanted to have sweet dreams.
Q: Why did the balloon burst?A: Because is saw a lolly pop.
Q: What two candies are the smartest?A: Smarties and Nerds.
Q: What is the funniest type of taffy?A: The Laffy Taffy
Q: What is a scientist’s favorite food?A: Smarties.
Q: What is a leopard’s favorite candy?A: Dots
Q: What is a Happy Farmer’s favorite candy?A: A Jolly Rancher.
Q: What do you call an Altoid that loves word play?A: A punnish-mint.
Q: What do you call a really good popsicle?A: Fantast-lick!
Q: What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?A: Candy canes.
Q: How do you spell CANDY with only two letters?A: C and Y
Q: Where did the zombie apocalypse start?A: On 5th avenue.
Q: Why was the vampire called “sweet”?A: He gave everybody kisses instead!
Q: What does Babe ruth like to do?A: Scores runs!
Q: What is a monster favorite snack?A: Sugar babies!
Q: What did the baby corn say to it’s mom?A: Where is pop corn?
Q: What do cows give after an earth quake?A: Milk shakes!
Q: Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison?A: Because prisoners break out!
Q: What do you call a cow that can’t moo?A: A Milk Dud.
Q: Why was Mrs. Cookie so sad?A: She was feeling crummy.
Q: What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk?A: The worlds best Sundae!
Q: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe.
Q: How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?A: First, invade ze kitchen.
Q: What candy is only for girls?A: HER-SHEy’s Kisses!
Q: What do cannibals eat for dessert?A: Chocolate covered aunts.
Q: What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?A: A life saver!
Q: What’s a southern farmer’s favorite treat?A: Cotton candy.
Q: What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?A: Going my Milky Way?
Q: Why did the Smartie go to school?A: Because he wanted to be smarter.
Q: Why did the jellybean go to school?A: To become a smartie!
Q: Why did the bubblegum cross the road?A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?A: Because he wanted sweet dreams!
Q: What’s the most popular sweet at the North Pole?A: Ice crispy treats.
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite candy?A: Sno-Caps.
Q: What’s an aliens favorite candy?A: Martian-mellows
Q: What’s a dentist’s worst nightmare?A: A lion that loves candy.
Q: What kind of beans grow in the Easter Bunny’s garden?A: Jelly beans!
Q: What was Buzz Aldrin’s favorite chocolate?A: A Mars bar
Q: What is Roo’s favorite candy?A: Lolli-hops.
Q: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?A: A chocolate baa
Q: What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum?A: A chew-chew train.
Q: What do you call a train that eats toffee?A: A chew, chew train.
Q: What do you call the Swiss president’s airplane?A: Tobler One.
Q: What does Bigfoot say when he ask for candy?A: Trick-or-feet
Q: What happened to the man who only ate Skittles?A: He farted rainbows.
Q: What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?A: A marsbar!
Q: What is red, white, and blue over winter break?A: A sad candy cane.
Q: What dessert did the mommy cat get after her Mother’s Day dinner?A: Chocolate Mouse
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear!
Q: What candies do you find at school?A: Smarties, Nerds, and Dum-Dums!
Q: What candy do you eat on the playground?A: Recess pieces.
Q: What contry did candy come from?A: Sweetland or Candyland.
Q: What country did candy come from?A: Sweeten.
Q: What do chocolate bars and jokes have in common?A: They can both be cracked!
Q: What kind of jokes do chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs – they’re morbid!
Q: Which is a chocoholics’ favorite kind of party?A: One that’s choco-lit!
Q: What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A: A Choco-Light!
Q: Why did the candy bar cross the road?A: Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!
Q: What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?A: Snickers – he only snickers!
Q: What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A: A chocolate chip cutie!
Q: What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A: A candy baaaaa-r!
Q: Why didn’t the cow produce any chocolate milk?A: Because he was moo-dy!
Q: Which chocolate candy bar is a cat’s favorite?A: A Kit Kat!
Q: What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?A: A rocky road!
Q: What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?A: Cao-cao! Cao-cao!
Q: What do chocolate clouds make?A: Chocolate sprinkles!
Q: Why did the chocolate bar get kicked out of the sports team?A: He was always playing Twix on the others!
Q: On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’ where was another little baby chocolate bar born?A: In the Gateaux (ghetto)!
Q: What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A: A Ferrari Rocher!
Q: Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?A: He was nutty!
Q: What’s the opposite of choco-late?A: Choco-early.
Q: What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?A: Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!
Q: Why was the chocolate Easter egg sad?A: He was hollow inside!
Q: What is brown and not made of chocolate?A: A cocoa-not!
Q: Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A: A Bounty-ful!
Q: Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A: A Skor!
Q: What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?A: 3 Musketeers!
Q: Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A: A Butterfinger!
Q: Why was the candy bar confused?A: Because she was a Her-She-y bar!
Q: What occasion do chocolate bars look forward to all month?A: PayDay!
Q: What do you call a dancing candy bar that got sent back in time to the 1920s?A: A Charleston Chew!
Q: Why couldn’t the candy bar screw in the lightbulb?A: She was an Aero-head!
Q: Where do candy bars hang out on a plane?A: At the Sky Bar!
Q: What happens when you mistake a candy bar for a potato?A: You find an Idaho Spud!
Q: Why did the thief steal the candy bar?A: It was called a 100 Grand bar!
Q: Which candy bars are out of this world?A: Milky Ways and Mars Bars!
Q: Which candy bar is a favorite of chocolate thieves?A: A Take 5!
Q: What did the dark chocolate bar say when the milk chocolate bar canceled their date?A: How dairy!
Q: What do chocolate bars book when they go away for a weekend?A: A hotel sweet!
Q: What happened when the chocolate bar stuck his finger in the plug?A: He became a shock-o-late bar!
Q: What do you get when you don’t give your dog chocolate?A: Chocolate bark and maybe even a choco-bite!
Q: How do candy bars pay for things?A: With choco-bitcoins!
Q: Why couldn’t the lady give up chocolate?A: Because she wasn’t a quitter!
Q: Why did the woman eat the box of chocolates?A: Because it was After Eight!
Q: What do you call a man who hunts chocolate bars?A: A Bounty hunter!
Q: Why did the man give up eating ice cream?A: Because he couldn’t top it!
Q: What did the truffle and the chocolate bar do when the latest Chocolat movie came out?A: They went to choc it out!
Q: What do you do with a rotten candy bar?A: You chuck-o-late it out!
Q: Why was the dairy milk chocolate bar confused?A: He couldn’t milk up his mind!
Q: What did the candy bar write on his Valentine’s day card?A: I love you dairy-ly!
Q: Why do milk chocolate truffles like sky diving?A: Because they’re dairy-ing!
Q: Which nursery rhyme do candy bars sing to their children?A: Bar bar chocolate sheep.
Q: Why do candy bars make excellent lawyers?A: Because they always pass the bar exams!
Q: What do you call a candy bar that attends peaceful protests?A: Mahatma Candy!
Q: Why did the candy bar get cold?A: Because he wasn’t wearing a sweeter!
Q: What do candy bars look for on online dating sites?A: A deeper confection!
Q: Why did the chocolate ice cream go to jail?A: He was confected of causing cavities!
Q: A chocolate bar got kicked out of a bar. Why?A: He was starting truffle!
Q: Why is chocolate the best gift to give a loved one?A: Because chocolate makes the heart grown fondue!
Q: Why did the boy cry?A: Because he wanted s’more chocolate!
Q: What do candy bars need to write to get a degree?A: A dessert-ation!
Q: Why did the hipster burn his mouth?A: Because he drank a tall hot chocolate mocha frappuccino with low-fat soy milk and cinnamon dolce sprinkles before it was cool!
Q: How should you describe eating a mint-chocolate candy bar?A: As an enjoy-mint!
Q: Why did the candy bar get hired?A: He was very a-dipped at his job!
Q: Why did the dark chocolate truffle give everyone the cold shoulder?A: He thought he was bitter than everyone!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a chocolate bar?A: A cow-cow!
Q: What do you say when a candy bar fails his exams?He fudged it!
Q: What’s the difference between a man dressed in robes and a king enrobed in chocolate?A: Cocoa nib-ility!
Q: Which chocolates are less likely to help you out when you’re in trouble?A: Semi-sweet ones!
Q: What did the candy bar say to his date?A: Orange-you going to invite me in?
Q: Why wouldn’t the chocolate truffle answer anyone’s calls?A: He was desfondant!
Q: Why didn’t the candy bar get locked up for eating chocolate?A: It was not a cream!
Q: What happens when candy bars pass on?A: They get cream-ated!
Q: Why was the chocolate bar always grumpy?A: He was ill temper-ed!
Q: Why did the chocolate bar blush?A: Because he was bar-e!
Q: What kind of candy is never on time?A: ChocoLATE.
Q: What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?A: Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
Q: What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?A: A PayDay.
Q: Why did the donut visit the dentist?A: He needed a chocolate filling.
Q: What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?A: Decad-ant
Q: What is a French cat’s favorite dessert?A: Chocolate mousse.
Q: Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?A: Babe Ruth.
Q: What do you call stolen cocoa?A: Hot chocolate.
Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?A: A candy baaa.
Q: What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?A: A Kitty Kat bar.
Q: If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have?A: Diabetes.
Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?A: A Mars bar.
Q: What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?A: Chocolate chimp.
Q: What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day?A: The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
Q: What fruit loves chocolate?A: A cocoa-nut.
Q: What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?A: Almond Joy To The World.
Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?A: Because it lost its filling!
Q: Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?A: They had a Babe Ruth.
Q: What did the M&M go to college?A: Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Q: What does it do before it rains candy?A: It sprinkles!
Q: What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk?A: Cacao.
Q: Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?A: He had a chip in his tooth.
Q: Why is a Toblerone triangular?A: So it fits in the box.
There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.
Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off.One said “Happy Easter!” What did the other one say? “Huh?”
I opened a Mars bar once.I discovered martians love gin.
Life is like a box of chocolates…Mostly disappointing.
A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.”
The boy looks over and responds, “My great grandfather lived to be 105.”The man replies, “And he ate that much chocolate?” “No,” says the boy. “But he minded his own business.”
Funny Candy Puns
- Choc it up to experience.
- Double choc everything.
- Here you bar.
- This will definitely come in candy.
- I’m chocolate to my appointment!
- For their summer holiday, the chocolate couple rented a two-bedroom sweet.
- That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street.
- You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts.
- For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse.
- The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp.
- The electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot.
- Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there.
- These days, shoes are called snickers.
- Don’t fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with!
- Chocolate coins are mint to be eaten.
- I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves
- A box of chocolates and a chocoholic walked into a bar. Only the chocoholic walked out!
- Some candy bars went to a chocolate milk bar – they got cocoa-lly i-nib-riated!
- I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn’t that funny. So I just snickered.
- You can teach an old dog new Twix.
- I think I have a pretty mallow personality.
- There’s no sugarcoating it: you’re just a backsweet driver.
- Don’t jump the gum.
- That really mint a lot to me.
- You cane do it!
- I can’t Reese-ist you!
- I knew you were truffle when you walked in.
- Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.
- Wake me up before you cocoa.
- I saw a chocolate car today. It must have been a Ferrari Rocher.
Knock Knock Jokes
Candy boy who?Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?
Candy, who?Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate?
How dairy, who?How dairy steal my chocolate!
Mr. Good, who?Mr. Goodbar!
Dairy, who?Dairy milk chocolate!
It’s after, who?It’s After Eight!
Cow, who?Cow-cao moo!
Temper, who?Tempered chocolate!
Twix, who?Twix up his sleeves!
Kit, who?Kit Kat!
Hello, who?Hello, can I order a skinny hot chocolate frappuccino to go?
Bar, who?Bar-bar chocolate sheep, have you any chocolate milk?
Please, sir, who?Please, sir, can I have s’more!
Life is, who?Life is like a box of chocolates!
Keep calm, who?Keep calm and eat chocolate!
Rich, who?Rich, dark, and hot chocolate!
Orange, who?Orange-you going to let me in?
I believe, who?I believe in chocolate chip cookies!
Do you have some great candy jokes for kids? Add them in the comments!
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