125 Clean Zombie Jokes For Kids That Will Really Spook

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If you are looking for a good laugh, check out our zombie jokes for kids! These clean and family-friendly jokes will have your whole family in stitches of laughter! 

featured image: zombie jokes for kids with an image of a laughing zombie

Jokes are always a great way to have fun, even in the spookiest of situations. These zombie jokes for kids are the best of both worlds! You’ll love sharing them with all of your friends and making them die of laughter!

Our zombie jokes for kids are clean and appropriate for any age! You won’t find yourself cringing or groaning when your kids share them with their friends. They will love memorizing these zombie jokes and giggling about them again and again! For more side-splitting laughter, check out our dragon jokes for kids or our mermaid jokes for kids!

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Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!

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The Best Zombie Jokes for Kids

Q: When do zombies go to sleep?

A: When they are dead tired.
zombie jokes for kids question: When do zombies go to sleep? A: When they are dead tired. on a green background

Q: Why did the zombie ignore all his Facebook friends?

A: He was still DIGESTING all of his followers on Twitter!

Q: Did you hear about the big zombie party?

A: It was DEAD & full of STIFFS!

Q: Why did the zombie eat the archer?

A: He wanted his bone and marrow.

Q: Why did the zombie go to the dentist?

A: To improve his BITE!

Q: Where do zombies eat dinner?

A: The LIVING room!

Q: Why do zombies make good ringtones?

A: They produce lots of sound BITES!

Q: Why did the zombie go to the hospital?

A: He wanted to learn some SICK jokes!

Q: What do you call zombies with big lips?

A: A Zombie A-pack-of-lips.

Q: Did you hear about the vegan Zombie?

A: He went to the insane asylum and only ate the vegetables!
zombie jokes for kids question:Did you hear about the vegan Zombie? A: He went to the insane asylum and only ate the vegetables! on a green background

Q: Why did “The Walking Dead” win an Emmy?

A: DEADication!

Q: How does a zombie introduce himself?

A: By saying “Pleased to eat you.”

Q: What’s a zombies favorite bean?

A: A human bean.

Q: Did you hear about the zombie comic book?

A: It’s called YOLO and it’s full of irony.
 
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Q: Why do zombies only date intelligent women?

A: They just love a woman with BRAAAINS!

Q: What do all the Apple shareholder zombies keep telling Tim Cook?

A: We’re DYING to have YOU for dinner!

Q: What do you call a zombie with lots of children?

A: A MOMster!

Q: What’s a zombies favorite desert?

A: I-Scream!

Q: Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?

A: Because people are dying to get in.

Q: What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?

A: Shrinkenstein…
zombie jokes for kids question: What would a monster's psychiatrist be called? A: Shrinkenstein… on a green background

Q: What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?

A: The cold SHOULDER!

Q: Where do you find a dead man with change?

A: A: Headquarters.

Q: Why did the zombie do good on the test?

A: Because it was a no brainier!

Q: What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat?

A: LIFE Savers!

Q: What do you call a zombie pollster?

A: A DEAD ringer!

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

A: His ghoul friend!

Q: Where do most zombies live?

A: On DEAD end streets!

Q: Who won World War Z?

A: Nobody, it was a DEAD tie!

Q: Why did the zombie become a roadie for Bon Jovi?

A: Because the sign said “Help Wanted Dead Or Alive”.

Q: Why did the zombie stop teaching?

A: He crossed his PUPILs!
zombie jokes for kids question:  Why did the zombie stop teaching? A: He crossed his PUPILs! on a red background

Q: What did the zombie say after he found his girlfriend cheating on him?

A: You’re DEAD to me!

Q: What do you call a bee that never dies?

A: A zomBEE!

Q: What do zombies say before a fight?

A: Do you want a PIECE of me?

Q: Why did the zombie go crazy?

A: He had LOST his mind!

Q: How do zombies eat computers?

A: They use megaBITES!

Q: What does a Zombie call Chinese people?

A: Take out!

Q: What did the zombie do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his bottom!

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?

A: Head & Shoulders!

Q: What kind of streets do zombies like best?

A: DEAD ends!

Q: What did the Zombie say to the other Zombie after he was hit by a semi?

A: You look smashing.
zombie jokes for kids question:What did the Zombie say to the other Zombie after he was hit by a semi? A: You look smashing on a brown background

Q: Where do zombies go swimming?

A: The DEAD Sea!

Q: What does it take to become a zombie?

A: DEADication!

Q: What did the zombie order at the club?

A: A shot of To-KILL-Ya!, a Bloody Mary, and a Mind Eraser.

Q: Why is the Walking Dead so dumb?

A: Because the zombies ate all the characters brains.

Q: What time do zombies wake up?

A: At ATE o’clock!

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite Reality TV show?

A: “CHOMPING On The Stars!”

Q: Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?

A: He had NO LEG to STAND ON!

Q: How can you tell when a Zombie is sick?

A: By their coffin.

Q: What do zombies do at a wedding?

A: Toast the bride and groom.

Q: Why don’t zombies eat comedians?

A: They taste FUNNY!
zombie jokes for kids question: Why don't zombies eat comedians? A: They taste FUNNY! on a green background

Q: What do you call an extremely well dressed Zombie?

A: Dressed to kill.

Q: What do vegetarian zombies crave?

A: GRAAAINS…..

Q: Why can you always find a zombie at Subway?

A: Because they like to “Eat Flesh”.

Q: Where do Zombies go when they die?

A: Back to their graves.

Q: What do little zombies play?

A: CORPSES & Grave Robbers!

Q: What has a dog’s head, a cat’s tail & brains all over its face?

A: A zombie LEAVING the PET STORE!

Q: Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?

A: He kept BUTTERING up his teacher!

Q: How do zombies tell their future?

A: With their HORRORscope!

Q: What do zombies like to eat at barbeques?

A: HALLOWEENies!

Q: What do you call zombies that can’t run?

A: The Walking Dead.
zombie jokes for kids question: What do you call zombies that can't run? A: The Walking Dead on a green background

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite mode of transportation?

A: A blood vessel.

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite sauce with brainz?

A: GRAVE-Y
 
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Q: Why did the zombie pour nacho cheese all over peoples feet?

A: He wanted DoriTOES! (Doritos)

Q: Why did the Zombie read the New York Times?

A: He heard it had great circulation.

Q: What kind of makeup do zombies wear?

A: Mas-scare-a.

Q: Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?

A: He had LOST his GUTS!

Q: Why did the zombie only eat fish?

A: Because he heard it was “brain” food.

Q: What would “The Walking Dead” be called if it was written by George Lucas?

A: Stab Wars.

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite football team?

A: The Washington DEADskins!

Q: Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?

A: Because he wanted a light snack.
zombie jokes for kids question: Why did the zombie eat a light bulb? A: Because he wanted a light snack on a green background

Q: How do zombies keep their hair in place?

A: With SCARE spray!

Q: What is the highest form of compliment you can give a Zombie?

A: Boy do you look to be in grave condition.

Q: What do you get when you cross a zombie with a snowman?

A: FrostBITE!

Q: What is a zombie’s favorite mode of transportation?

A: SCAREplanes!

Q: What type of dogs do zombies like to eat?

A: BLOODhounds!

Q: What do they use to clean the ice during the Halloweenland hockey game?

A: A Zombieoni

Q: When do you see the most zombies?

A: Halloween.

Q: Why did the zombie quit his teaching job?

A: He only had one pupil left.

Q: What do they grow in the Halloweenland garden?

A: Zombeets.

Q: Do zombies eat brains with their fingers?

A: Nope – they eat the fingers separately.
zombie jokes for kids question: Do zombies eat brains with their fingers? A: Nope – they eat the fingers separately on a brown background

Q: Where do zombies go to vacation?

A: The DEADiterranean.

Q: Who won the zombie race?

A: Nobody – it was a dead heat.
 
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Q: What was the zombie’s favorite toy?

A: His Deady bear.

Q: What kind of car do zombies drive?

A: Monster trucks.

Q: Why did the Zombie join the army?

A: He heard they give out arms.

Q: Why didn’t the zombie get the acting role?

A: They wanted someone more lively.

Q: What is black, white & dead all over?

A: A zombie penguin.

Q: Why did the zombie comedian get booed off the stage?

A: Because all the jokes he told where rotten.

Q: What is the safest place to be during a zombie attack?

A: A living room.

Q: Do zombies eat french fries with their fingers?

A: Nope, they eat the fingers separately.
zombie jokes for kids question: Do zombies eat french fries with their fingers? A: Nope, they eat the fingers separately on a brown background

Q: How can you tell if a zombie is tired?

A: He’s just dead on his feet.

Q: Which Smurf is most afraid of zombies?

A: Brainy Smurf.

Q: How does a group of zombies come up with a plan?

A: They brain storm!

Q: What do zombies yell on December 31st?

A: Happy New Fear!

Q: What room can you never hide in to avoid a zombie?

A: A mush-room.

Q: Why did the zombie stay home from work?

A: He felt rotten.

Q: What do you do if there’s a zombie at your door?

A: Hope it’s Halloween!

Q: Why are zombies never arrested?

A: Cause they can never be taken alive!

Q: What bread do zombies usually eat?

A: Whole brain!

Q: What is a zombie sleepover called?

A: Mass grave!
zombie jokes for kids question: What is a zombie sleepover called? A: Mass grave! on a green background

Q: What do zombies say before a boxing match?

A: “Do you want a piece of me”?

Q: What do dyslexic zombies eat?

A: Brians.

Q: What is a zombie s favorite language?

A: Latin, because it is a dead language.
 
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Q: Why did the zombie get a bullet in the head?

A: Because it asked for a high five.

Q: Humans get arrested under Miranda rights, but what do zombies get arrested under?

A: Habeas Corpus people!

Q: If the Joker actor was the only zombie in a web series what would it be called?

A: The Joaquin Dead.

Q: What did the zombie say when he was asked why he eats brains?

A: “A mind is a terrible thing to go to waste.”

Q: What did the zombie say about drinking blood?

A: “Blood is really warm. It’s like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming.”

Q: Why is it never wise to let a zombie cross the road alone?

A: It might not have eyes.

Q: What would you call an undead cheese?

A: It was zom-brie.
zombie jokes for kids question: What would you call an undead cheese? A: It was zom-brie on a green background

Q: Why can you overtake a zombie on a bicycle so easily?

A: Because they’re dead on my feet.

Q: Why are zombies so good at Minecraft?

A: Dead-ication!

Q: What did the cowboy zombie who keeps talking about the apocalypse tell me when I met him?

A: He said the end is neigh!

Q: What is an apocalypse in Wisconsin called?

A: Parmageddon!

Q: What did the zombies say when asked why they haven’t risen yet?

A: The zombie say that someone has been dragging at that task for quite a long time.

Q: Why is the population of Eastern Europe never really worried about the lack of food in the event that the Zombies decide to rise?

A: Because they can always cook-up a nice pot of Ghoul-ash.

Q: Where should people go in case the zombies decide to rise?

A: The retirement home, no one there’s gonna have the teeth to take a bite at you.

Q: Why is a Zombie apocalypse one of the greatest things that gamers look forward to?

A: Because the moment it starts, they would head out with a sledgehammer for an exciting game of Whack-A-Mole.

Q: What would happen if the apocalypse were to happen in Vegas?

A: Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Q: If Batman was infected during a zombie apocalypse what would he say on seeing one of his arch-nemesis destroying Gotham?

A: BANEEEEE!
zombie jokes for kids question: If Batman was infected during a zombie apocalypse what would he say on seeing one of his arch-nemesis destroying Gotham? A: BANEEEEE! on a green background

Q: What do zombies have for school lunches?

A: Human beans, fried legs and eyes cream!

Q: Why are zombies always hired as make-up artists?

A: Because they have to put their face on every morning!

Q: What should you do at a Halloween party if a zombie rolls their eyes at you?

A: Roll them back to them!

Q: What do you give a zombie who is up to their neck in slime?

A: More slime!

Q: Why did the zombie decide to stay in his coffin?

A: He felt rotten.

Do you have some favorite zombie jokes for kids? Be sure to share them in the comments so that we can add them to the list!

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