The Best Tomato Puns & Jokes

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Love tomatoes? Then you’ll love these tomato puns! Whether you’re a fan of slicing, dicing, or just biting into them raw, there’s a pun for everyone.

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We love some good puns and jokes that will keep you laughing all day long! And these tomato puns will do just that! Not only are these fun to hear, but it is the perfect way to get your kids excited about eating their veggies. And who knows, you might just have a good time too!

So without further ado, here are our favorite tomato puns. And if you want even more laughs be sure to check out our chocolate knock knock jokes and our Ostrich jokes for kids.

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The Best Tomato Puns

Whole tomato on white background with light blue border.
  • The papa tomato said to the baby tomato, “Son, I love you from my head tomatoes.”
  • Tomato (tomorrow) is another day.
  • Here today, gone tomato.
  • Tom-atom – Tomatoes that are invisible to the naked eye.
  • Researchers made an incredible discovery when they put the tomato under an electron microscope. They found a new type of atom- the tomatom.
  • The guys down at the new vegetable factory have been trying to get everyone hyped up about their new customizable tomato. They call it the customato.
  • As I walked back home after buying red tomatoes and other vegetables, this young kid drove his cycle over my foot. Boy, I had never had this much pain to-ma-toes.
  • When the tomato entered the room without knocking, he left red-faced because he had seen the salad dressing.
  • As I rushed to the hospital with my broken tomato, I asked the doctor if there was any way to fix a broken tomato. He replied that the only way to fix a broken tomato is to use tomato paste.
  • As part of the sensitivity campaign, the boss tomato made it clear to all the employee tomatoes that under no condition should they fat shame someone in the office by calling them plum tomatoes.
  • When the gamer got to Tomato Town in Fortnite, his game stopped working. He simply used red tomato paste to fix it.
  • The doctor tomato decided to get a test done on the baby tomato for flu. Sadly, the kid did have flu but he was asymp-tomato-ic.
  • When the teacher asked the student where tomatoes came from, she replied, “From the tomato source!”
  • If a tomato ever travels to a different place with different weather, he must get accustomato the place.
  • When the teacher asked the tomato what his favorite book was, he said it was “Uncle Tomato’s Cabin”.
  • I love using ketchup so much that every time I get a hotdog, I au-tomato-cally go for the ketchup.
  • Recently, the other tomatoes have reported sightings of a vigilante tomato in the town. The local authorities and newspapers have labeled him as The Phantomato.
  • The best way to punish lazy and careless tomato employees from the office is to can them.
  • After the tomato traveler had completed his much-publicized trip around the world in just 80 days, he became known to everyone as the globe tomato.
  • In earlier times, when critics didn’t like a play or a performance, they wouldn’t throw potatoes and other vegetables towards the stage. They would throw ‘Rotten Tomatoes’ at it.
Whole tomato on white background with light blue border.
  • The smallest tomato in the class complained to the teacher tomato because the other tomatoes used to make fun of him by calling him the bottomato.
  • When the tomato went to the doctor to get his annual health checkup, he asked him, “Please check me thoroughly from my head tomatoes.”
  • The judge tomato said that she would put all these thug tomatoes in jail if they do not tomatone for their crimes.
  • In the olden days, when a tomato wanted to confess his sins and crimes, he would simply go to church. The Padre would forgive him and he would turn from a tomato to a tomato pure-e.
  • I decided to add some more tomato ketchup to the soup I was making. Now, in Heinze sight, it does not look like a good idea.
  • All the vegetables decided to run a marathon. During the race, the red-faced tomato was lagging behind quite a bit. The other vegetables thought that he’ll never be able to ketchup with them.
  • This great documentary on growing tomatoes and tomato farming gives everyone a unique be-Heinze the scenes look at the tomato industry.
  • A friend of mine has a unique recipe where he barbeques a tomato with lots of ketchup. He calls this dish the ketchupped steak.
  • As the ketchup got back from the doctor with his pair of glasses, the mustard joked that his Heize sight must be 20-20 now!
  • My friend decided to finish the book he had been reading while sipping on some tomato soup. Unfortunately, the soup spilled and spoiled his book. It was indeed a bad time to ketchup on his reading
  • Last night, I missed the cooking show teaching how to make a great red tomato soup. Well, I guess I’d have to ketchup the show later.
  • When the new king in Tomato Town had his coronation ceremony, the other tomatoes bowed down and said, “We are at your service, Your Royal Heinze-ness!”
  • When the ketchup visited the psychiatrist, the doctor told the ketchup that he mustn’t keep his feelings bottled up.
  • When a tomato gets be-Heinze schedule on work and other things, he must do everything in order to ketchup.
  • The only way a tomato can eat noodles is by the help of the ketchup-stick.
  • When Arnold Schwarzeneggar saw that the tomato was in danger, he yelled at him, “Get to the Ketchupper!”
  • Last night, I missed the cooking show teaching how to make a great red tomato soup. Well, I guess I’d have to ketchup the show later.
  • If tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
  • A cabbage, a tomato, and a nose were racing against each other. The cabbage was ahead, the nose was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
  • I like to put coriander on my blended tomatoes. It’s soup herb.
Sliced tomato on white background with light blue border.
  • The worst thing about salsa dancing is getting the tomato stains out afterward.
  • I was on the ground by my tomato plants looking for caterpillar tracks. That’s when I got run over by a tank.
  • I’m setting up a tomato stall. I’ve spotted a gap in the market.
  • If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a jam?
  • Accidentally I spilled some tomato ketchup in my eye. In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
  • My friend always makes vegetable puns, I wonder what’s tomato with him.
  • Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
  • Hey guys I was inspecting our seedlings this morning: “The tomato is catching up with the other plants.
  •  A tomato officer with his team walks to Salad’s house and knocks on the door. “Lettuce in!”
  • Did you know Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods? Because they’re in-bred!
  • A man tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me. So I said, “You wanna pizza me?”
  • When the tomato was nervous… tomato paced.
  • Given that pico de gallo is made with regular tomatoes… we’d need really big tomatoes to make nano de Gallo.
  • There is currently a tomato ketchup shortage in America. If they run out of mayonnaise too, does that make it a double-dip recession?
  • Two tomatoes were crossing a road… one of them looked at the other and said: “Hey, you screwed up the joke!”
  • A tomato walks into a bar and asks for a drink… The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
  • I think my neighbor is growing tomatoes in his car… He’s been sitting in there with a hose through the window for hours!
  • I always thought LGBT means Lettuce Ginger Bacon and Tomato… Until my smart friend told me that G stands for Guacamole.
  • I planted my tomato plants too late this year. Now they’re playing ketchup.
  • I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion, and garlic condiments. I really relish it.
Sliced tomato on white background with light blue border.

More Tomato Jokes

  • Q: What’s red, round and you can’t see it? A tomato in another country.
  • Q: Why is O scared of Tom? Because tomatoes.
  • Q: How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
  • Q: What do you call it when a chef has you choose between 2 tomatoes? An ultomato
  • Q: Put some lettuce, sliced tomatoes, cucumber in front of a chicken, what does it see? The chicken sees a salad!
  • Q: Why could the tomato outrun the broccoli? Because he wasn’t a vegetable!
  • Q: Why did the bread kick the tomato over? Because he loafed him.
  • Q: Why is the tomato red? Because it’s angry that it can’t ride a bicycle.
  • Q: What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his Tomato seeds after watering them for the first time? You have been germinated.
  • Q: Where does the tomato and pasta go to dance? At the Meat Ball.
  • Q: What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot? A transplant.
  • Q: If tomatoes are fruit, why is there a tomato in Veggietales? The gourd works in mysterious ways.
  • Q: What did the tomato say to the sad pickle? “What’s the big dill?”
  • Q: At what point did the tomato realize he was about to get lucky? When the garlic started taking off her cloves.
  • Q: What did the other veggies say to the tomato after they passed him in a race? “Looks like you need to ketchup”
Sliced tomato on white background with light blue border.
  • Q: Why was the can of tomato paste voted off the ship? Because ketchup sus.
  • Q: What did the tomato say to the potato? “I’ll ketchup with you later”
  • Q: What type of tomato smells the best? A Roma!
  • Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
  • Q: What do you call a potatoe that mimics a tomatoes? An Imitator.
  • Q: What’s a tomato’s greatest desire? To Merrymato.
  • Q: What is red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.
  • Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato? “You better ketchup!”
  • Q: Why is a tomato round and red? Because if it was long and green it would be a cucumber!
  • Q: What do you call a tomato with a trumpet? A tooty fruity.
  • Q: What did the lemon in the salad say to the tomato? “Give me a squeeze”.
  • Q: What’s red and square? An uncool tomato.
  • Q: What’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • Q: What did the macaroni say to the tomato? “Don’t get saucy with me!”
  • Q: Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a date!
Whole tomato on white background with light blue border.

Do you have some fun tomato puns and tomato jokes we can add to the list? Be sure to leave a comment so we can add them to our list!

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