Who says moms can’t tell good jokes? These 105 mom jokes for kids are way funnier than any dad joke you will find. So dive in, because these mom jokes will have everyone laughing in no time!
Do you know the difference between a mom joke and a dad joke? Mom jokes are actually funny that people laugh at, and dad jokes, well, they usually have people scratching their heads wondering what they just said! Okay, okay, dad jokes aren’t that bad, but mom jokes for kids are the best. They are guaranteed to have everyone laughing in no time and having a great time. You can also guarantee with these mom jokes, no one will be cringing at the punchline because they are totally kid-friendly and perfect for kids and adults of all ages.
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The Best Mom Jokes for Kids
Son: “Mom, can I get $20?”
Mom: “Does it look like I’m made of money?”Son: “Well, isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?A: “Where’s Pop Corn?”
Daughter: “Mom, I need my personal space!”Mom: “You came out of my personal space.”
Q: Why is a computer so smart?A: Because it listens to its motherboard.
Q: Why did the cookie cry?A: Because his mother was a wafer so long!
Q: What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor?A: The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.
Q: What do you call a small mom?A: Minimum.
Q: What did the Mama tomato say to the baby tomato?A: “Ketchup!”
Q: Why don’t mothers wear watches?A: There’s a clock on the stove.
Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?A: Because his mom was in a jam!
Q: What did the mama say to the foal?A: “It’s pasture your bedtime.”
Q: What did Mommy spider say to baby spider?A: “You spend too much time on the web.”
Science teacher: “When is the boiling point reached?”Student: “When my mother sees my report card!”
Daughter: “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?”A: Mother: “I don’t know dear, ask your grandmother.
Q: What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?A: “It’s time to go to sweep!”
Q: What did the panda give his mommy?A: A bear hug.
Q: What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed?A: Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!
Q: Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom?A: Because she left the phone off the hook.
Q: What sweets do astronaut moms like?A: Mars bars.
Q: What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year?A: Mummy’s Day.
Q: Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist?A: Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.
Q: Why did mom get a plate of English muffins on Mother’s Day?A: Her family wanted her to feel like a queen!
Q: What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day?A: Mums.
Q: Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor?A: She bit her tongue!
Q: Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling?A: She was an alley cat.
Q: What color flowers do mama cats like to get?A: Purrrrrrrple flowers.
Q: What warm drink helps mom relax?A: Calm-omile tea.
Q: How do you get the kids to be quiet?A: Say, “Mum’s the word.”
Q: How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late?A: Use the moooooote button.
Q: Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day?A: Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it.
Q: Why did the mommy horse want to race on a rainy day?A: She was a mudder.
Q: Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater?A: She was chili.
Mom: “Have some fruit” Eight-year-old: “I don’t want fruit.” Mom: “Then you’re not hungry.”Eight-year-old: “I’m hungry”
Mom: “Come down for dinner!”Kid: “I’m busy, mooooom!” Mom: “Right now before it gets cold!” (runs down the stairs) Kid: “Where’s the food?” Mom: “It’ll be ready in five minutes.”
Q: Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day?A: So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.
Kid: “What’s for dinner?”Mom: “Food” Kid: “What kind?” Mom: “The kind you eat”
Roses are red,Violets are blue. My mom’s jokes, Are funnier than you
Son: “Mom, what’s a weekend?”Mom: “I don’t know, sweetheart, I haven’t had one since you were born.”
Boy: “My mom is having a new baby.”Girl: “What’s wrong with the old one?”
There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking:Not enough and enough for 3,000 people.
I love my kids.Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking, but I love them.
Mom’s recipe for iced coffee:Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Put it in the microwave. Forget you put it in the microwave. Drink it cold.
Baby snake: “Mommy, are we venomous?”
Mommy snake: “Yes, son. Why?”Baby snake: “I just bit my tongue!”
Q: What do you call a mom who isn’t around much and can’t seem to get their underwear into the hamper?A: Dad
Q: How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: One, obviously, and she has to do it or else it won’t get done.
To Mom: “I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m cold, I’m hot, can I have… where are you?”To Dad: “Where’s Mom?”
Q: What kind of boat is barely staying afloat, yet somehow manages to function?A: The mother ship.
Son: “When is Mother’s Day, Dad?”Dad: (wearily unplugging the vacuum) “Every day son, every day.”
Before having kids, every mom thinks she’ll be a super-chill mom.That’s because, at that point, we had no idea they’d break all our stuff, make ridiculous demands, and take roughly 10 years to get out of the car.
Q: What is a jumper?A: Something you wear when your mother gets cold.
Please excuse the mess! My kids are making memories.Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess.
My kids asked me what it was like to be a mom.So, I woke them up at 3 a.m. demanding to know where my lucky sock was.
She believed she could, and she almost did…But then someone asked her repeatedly for a snack and she totally lost track of what she was doing.
Night Mom: “Tomorrow, I’m going to get up early before all of the kids, pack their lunches, go for a run, cook a healthy breakfast, and enjoy 20 minutes of silent ‘me time.’”Morning Mom: “Hahahahahaha. Nice try.”
Q: What’s the fastest land mammal?A: A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
Q: Why did the mother cross the road?A: To get some peace and quiet!
Q: Where do baby Transformers come from?A: Opti-Mom Prime.
Son: “Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?”
Dad: “No.”Son: “Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!”
Q: Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales?A: Because mothers are priceless.
Q: What did the mother rope say to her child?A: “Don’t be knotty.”
Q: What three words solve every dad’s problems?A: Ask your mother.
Q: When did you know you were a mother?A: When I realized 90 percent of my day was locating someone else’s lost crap.
*In Mary Poppin’s voice* “Kids, time to go!”
15 minutes later…*Christian Bale’s Batman voice* “I said, let’s go.”
Q: When did you know you were a mother?A: When I realized 90 percent of my day was locating someone else’s lost crap.
Q: What is a mom’s favorite flower?.A: Chrysanthemums
My son asked one of those hard first questions—”Why am I here?”I thought about it for a minute and then replied—“To clean for mommy.”
Q: is the word “mom” a palindrome?A: Because our days look almost identical from front to back.
Q: “Just Do It” is Nike’s motto. So what’s the motto of every mom of a feisty toddler?A: “Don’t Do That!”
Q: What did the baby light bulb say to the mommy light bulb?A: I love you watts and watts!
Q: What did the mother ghost tell the baby ghost when he ate his apple pie too fast?A: Stop goblin your dessert.
Q: What did the mother worm say to the little worm who was late?A: Where in earth have you been?
Q: What does a momma color wheel say to a baby color wheel?A: Don’t use that tone with me.
Q: What warm drink helps mom relax when they’re camping?A: Calm-omile tea.
Q: Who granted the fish a wish?A: The fairy codmother.
Q: Why did Spider-Man get in trouble with his mom?A: He spent too much time on the web.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?A: Because their kids have to play inside!
Finally my winter fat is gone.Now I have spring rolls.
Q: What’s black and white and goes round and round?A: A penguin in the washing machine.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.I’ll let you know.
Q: What’s a mom joke?A: Look in the mirror, kiddo.
- “Ah, babies. They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” — Tina Fey
- “Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.” — Amy Poehler
- “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” — Reese Witherspoon
- “No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.” — Chrissy Teigen
- At my age I’m no longer a snack; I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.
- Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water — said no mom ever.
- Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
- Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, “Phew it’s chocolate.”
- I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
- Spit up is my new favorite accessory; no outfit is complete without it.
- I feel personally victimized by my own daughter. I just want her to stop throwing crackers at me.
- I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.
- Whoever wrote the song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” did not have kids.
- When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.
- You know you’re a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn’t only normal, but necessary.
- You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.
- My nickname is Mom. But my full name is “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.”
- “It’s spicy” is universal mom code for “I don’t want to share.”
- My housekeeping style as a mom can best be described as “there appears to have been a struggle.”
- Motherhood: When changing from plaid flannel PJs into black yoga pants qualifies as “getting dressed.”
- When my kid tells me they got hurt doing exactly what I told them to stop doing so they wouldn’t get hurt, I say, “Oh noooooo…”
- Mothers of teens understand why some animals eat their young.
- They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.
- A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.
- Important truth no one tells a first-time mom: Both of you come home from the hospital in diapers.
Do you have some other great mom jokes that others will love? Share them in the comments so we can add the list.
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