105 Best Batman Jokes For Kids [For the Real Jokers]

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If you have some real jokers in your family, they’ll love our Batman jokes for kids! These clean and wholesome jokes will make you the superhero of the party!

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If you are looking for some hilarious, bat-tastic jokes, you’ve come to the right place! These Batman jokes for kids are so funny, you won’t be able to mask your laughter. It would be a crime to miss out on these jokes, so grab them today and start giggling with your friends and family!

Our Batman jokes for kids are appropriate for all ages, so you won’t feel like a villain when your kids start repeating them to their friends. Each punchline is sure to make everyone chuckle! For more hysterical jokes, be sure to fly over to our mermaid jokes for kids and viking jokes for kids

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The Best Batman Jokes for Kids

Q: How does Batman’s mom call him for dinner?  

A: Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner . . . Batman!
batman jokes for kids question: How does Batman's mom call him for dinner?  A: Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner . . . Batman! on a yellow background

Q: What happens when Batman and Robin fight a steamroller?

A: They become Flatman and Ribbon!

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?

A: Get in the Batmobile please Robin.

Q: Why couldn’t Batman go fishing?

A: Robin had eaten the worms.

Q: Why is Two Face one of the better villains?

A: Because he’s only half bad.

Q: What did Poison Ivy change outfits at the superheroes’ ball?

A: She wanted to wear her Dark Knight gown.
 
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Q: Why is Batman so super at cards?

A: Because he always gets the Joker.

Q: Why did Batman take more photographs?  

A: Because he’d forgotten to use the Flash the first time.

Q: Why is Batman always serious?  

A: Because he isn’t the Joker!

Q: What’s the difference between Batman and the Penguin?  

A: You never see Batman robin!

Q: Why doesn’t Batman like Mr. Freeze?

A: He always gives him the cold shoulder.
batman jokes for kids question: WWhy doesn’t Batman like Mr. Freeze? A: He always gives him the cold shoulder. on a yellow background

Q: Why doesn’t Batman like going for walks in nature?

A: He’s worried about coming across poison ivy.

Q: What type of diet did Mr. Freeze tell Batman he would like?  

A: The Meltdown diet.

Q: Who do you think is the best businessperson: Batman or Superman?  

A: It’s obviously Superman; there aren’t any batmarkets!

Q: Why did Batman ask Mr Freeze where he buys his clothes from?  

A: He thought they looked cool.

Q: Where does Bruce Wayne get all his energy from?

A: Bat-teries.

Q: What position did Bruce Wayne play on the school baseball team?  

A: Bat-boy.

Q: What do you call it when Batman is crossed with a tree?  

A: Spruce Wayne.

Q: What do you call a three-year old Batman who has fallen off his bike?  

A: Bruised Wayne.

Q: Why was Bruce Wayne so popular on the cricket team?  

A: Because he was the best ever bat man.

Q: Why did Bruce Wayne’s movie date go so badly?

A: He had bat breath.
batman jokes for kids question: Why did Bruce Wayne's movie date go so badly?  A: He had bat breath. on a blue background

Q: What is Bruce Wayne’s favourite food to make for lunch?  

A: He tells me it’s alpha-bat-ti  spaghetti.

Q: What’s the difference between Batman and a robber?

A: Batman can go into a store without Robin.

Q: What part of a joke does Batman like best?  

A: The punch line.

Q: What does Batman put in his drinks at the bar?

A: Just-ice.

Q: What do you call it when Batman skips Church?

A: Christian Bale.

Q: What did Batman do at the shops?  

A: Got-ham.
 
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Q: What did Batman’s friend say to him when he’d returned from holiday?  

A: Welcome bat.

Q: What type of exercise does Batman always want to do?

A: Aero-batics.

Q: What is Batman’s favourite type of tea?

A: Vigilan-tea.
batman jokes for kids question: What is Batman's favourite type of tea?  A: Vigilan-tea. on a blue background

Q: Why did Bruce’s dentist give him mouth wash?

A: Because he had bat breath.

Q: How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light-bulb?

A: None – they like it dark.

Q: What do you get when you combine Robin with a milk shake machine?

A: Robin the Boy Blender.

Q: What does Batgirl wear to the superhero ball?

A: Her Dark Knight gown.

Q: What did Bruce Wayne’s mommy put over his crib?

A: A bat mobile.

Q: Why did Robin pick up the telephone?

A: It bat-a-rang.

Q: What does Bruce Wayne give to kids on hot summer days?

A: Batcycles (instead of popsicles)

Q: What did Batman do at the deli?

A: Got ham.

Q: Why did all the pictures come out dark from Batman’s party?

A: He forgot to invite the Flash.

Q: Where does Batman go potty?

A: In the batroom.
batman jokes for kids question: Where does Batman go potty? A: In the batroom. on a black background

Q: Why did Batman bring Wonder Woman with him to the used car dealer?

A: So she could use her Lasso of Truth on the salesman.

Q: What does Batman put in his lemonade?

A: Just ice.

Q: Why was Dick Grayson called Robin?

A: Calling him the early bird sounded silly.

Q: Why did Batman get upset while playing cards?

A: They kept saying the Joker was wild.

Q: What did Batman say to his friend who returned after missing a day of school?

A: Welcome bat.

Q: Why did Batman’s wife name their son Gotham?

A: So when he wakes up at night, she can wake up Batman and say “Gotham Needs You.”

Q: Which sport is Bruce Wayne really good at?

A: Baseball, because he’s do good with a bat.
 
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Q: Which farm animal turns into a superhero at night?

A: The sheep – it turns into Baaaaaatman!

Q: What’s the difference between Batman and a shoplifter?

A: Batman can go into a store without Robin.

Q: When does Poison Ivy change her underpants?

A: When they get soiled.
batman jokes for kids question: When does Poison Ivy change her underpants? A: When they get soiled. on a yellow background

Q: Where do Batman’s goldfish live?

A: In the Bat tub.

Q: What would Batman do if he wasn’t rich?

A: He would be Robin.

Q: What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?

A: The Dark Knight rises.

Q: How does Batman like his coffee?

A: Black. Like the night.

Q: Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?

A: He had to go to the Bat Room.

Q: What’s Batman’s favorite drink?

A: Fruit punch.

Q: Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

A: Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.

Q: Why doesn’t Batman have super vision?

A: His parents died.

Q: Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?

A: Because Robin ate all the worms.

Q: What’s Batman’s favourite fruit?

A: Ba-na-na-na-na-na.
batman jokes for kids question: What’s Batman’s favourite fruit? A: Ba-na-na-na-na-na. on a yellow background

Q: How does Batboy become Batman?

A: He has a Bat-Mitzvah.

Q: How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?

A: Hang him on the wall. Now he’s a Bruce Banner.

Q: What’s the toughest part about being Batman?

A: Knowing that you’ll never make your parents proud.

Q: What’s the difference between a newly married Danish couple and Batman’s parents?

A: One couple are wed Danes and the other are Dead Waynes.

Q: Have you heard of Batman’s brother, High-Hatman?

A: He’s a cymbal of justice.
 
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Q: What did the loaf of bread say to Batman?

A: “Rye so serious?”

Q: What do you get when you combine Robin with a Vita-Mix?

A: Robin the Boy Blender.

Q: What do you get for a Batman who has everything?

A: Bat friends.

Q: Why does Batman only wear dark colors?

A: Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.

Q: Why does Robin only wear bright colors?

A: Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.
batman jokes for kids question: Why does Robin only wear bright colors?  A: Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.on a blue background

Q: How does Batman take care of Poison Ivy?

A: Ointment.

Q: Why is Batman so good at hitting home runs?

A: He has a batting cage.

Q: What did they call Batman when he was little?

A: Lil Wayne.

Batman: “It’s been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub.”

Alfred: “Master Bruce, what’s a htub?”

Robin: Where are you, Batman?

Batman: on my way, was in the bathroom

Robin: what’s a hroom?

Batman: “Alfred, why is the batremote for the batTV is not working?”

Alfred: “Have you changed the batteries, sir?”

Batman: “What are eries?”

Q: Why did Alfred open his umbrella at Batman’s family reunion?

A: Because it was a Wayne-y day.

Q: Why did Batman take a break from fighting crime?

A: Because it was becoming the Bane of his existence!

Q: When is Joker not plotting a murder?

A: When he’s riding his Harley.

Q: What do you call a comic book movie without any sidekicks?

A: Batman and Robinhood.
batman jokes for kids question: What do you call a comic book movie without any sidekicks? A: Batman and Robinhood. on a blue background

Q: Why did Batman flush the toilet?

A: Because it was his duty!

Q: Whats the difference between Batman and a unicorn?

A: Nothing, they’re both fictional characters

Q: What did the Joker say when he was on top of Batman?

A: “Joke’s on you, Batman”

Q: Why does Batman’s mask hide only half his face?

A: So that the cops can see he’s white and not shoot him on sight.

Q: Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin?

A: Because Swallow was too obvious.

Q: What does Batman put in his tea?

A: Just ice.

My boss told me to “dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”

Now I’m in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
 
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My friend said to me, Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!? I said, Go on, then. He shouted, NOT THE KRYPTONITE! I said, That’s Superman.

He said, Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.

They’ve announced who will be playing the lead in the new Blind Batman film.

It’s Christian Braille

How come Batman shampoo exists, but not conditioner Gordon?

batman jokes for kids question: How come Batman shampoo exists, but not conditioner Gordon? on a black background

You might think Batman was born in Gotham, but he was actually born in South Africa.

Capetown, to be exact.

Batman doesn’t make New Year’s Resolutions.

He enforces them.

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…

Followed by Batman.

My girlfriend asked me if I thought she was wearing too much makeup.

I said it depended on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.

I emailed Netflix and asked if they had Batman Forever.

They said, “No, just until the end of June.”

My girlfriend said I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman.

What a Joker.

Robin: The batmobile won’t start.

Batman: Check the battery.

Robin: What’s a tery?

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That’s Arkham’s Razor.

Dick Grayson: I’m thirsty.

Bruce Wayne: I’m Batman.

Did you hear about Batman climbing up the tree?  

He was trying to see if he could find Robin’s nest.
batman jokes for kids question: Did you hear about Batman climbing up the tree?  He was trying to see if he could find Robin's nest. on a yellow background

I asked Netflix if they had Batman Forever,

but they said only until the end of the month.

Holy Kleenex Batman!

It was right under our nose and we blew it!

Batman and a set of false teeth have a lot in common;

they both only come out at night.

Batman’s favourite takeaway is Chinese because he loves Kung POW chicken!

Batman refuses to use the white pieces when he plays chess;

he always has to be the Dark Knight.

Do you have some favorite Batman jokes for kids? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the growing list!

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