140 Pirate Jokes for Kids That Will Have You Hooked

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Arg matey! Yarrrr heard any good pirate jokes for kids lately? These pirate jokes are sure to make you laugh. Use these on talk with a pirate day or whenever you want a good laugh.

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Jokes are so fun. They are the perfect way to break the ice, make someone who is sad turn glad, and just share a laugh or two together. These pirate jokes for kids are some of the best around. They are perfect for pirate birthday parties, people who love pirates, and talk like a pirate day. With all jokes, you may be worried about the punch line, but don’t worry, these pirate jokes for kids won’t make you walk the plank when you hear the punch line because they are clean and perfect for kids of all ages.

If you love to laugh, you will want to be sure to check out our Butterfly Knock Knock Jokes, Pickle Jokes For Kids That are Sweet, and our Swim-tastic Swimming Jokes for Kids.

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The Best Pirate Jokes for Kids

Q: How do the pirates know that they are pirates?

A: They think so, therefore they ARRRR!

Q: What kind of ship do pirates find it hard to maintain?

A: Relationship!

Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?

A: Aye to aye! (Eye to eye)

Q: Where do pirates park their ships?

A: In the harrrrrrbor

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?

A: Because they will just wash up on the shore later
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? A: Because they will just wash up on the shore later in brown background

Q: Where do pirates go for the bathroom?

A: The poop-deck!

Q: Why did the pirate go for a vacation?

A: He needed a little arrr and arrr.

Q: What grades did the pirates get in school?

A: High Cs

Q: What did the pirate get when he hit the skeleton?

A: A skull and the CROSS bones!

Q: What will you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?

A: A rookie
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What will you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A: A rookie in green background
 
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Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite country?

A: AAARRRGHentina!

Q: What did the pirate do the day before Halloween?

A: Mow his front yarrrrrd!

Q: Which gym did the pirate visit?
The Gold’s Gym

Q: What is the worst thing about cleaning a pirate ship?

A: The barrrrrrnacles

Q: What did the pirate say when his leg got stuck in the freezer?

A: “Shiver me timber!”
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What did the pirate say when his leg got stuck in the freezer?A: “Shiver me timber!”  in green background

Q: How does a pirate, who wears a patch, say “Yes” to the captain?

A: “Eye Eye, captain.”

Q: Which restaurant do pirates love the most?

A: The Harrrrrrd Rock Cafe

Q: Why do pirates give away eye patches on Halloween?

A: Because iPads arrrrr too expensive!

Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap?

A: He bought it on sail.

Q: What was the name of the pirate’s spotted dog?

A: Patches
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What was the name of the pirate’s spotted dog? A: Patches  in green background
 
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Q: Why do pirates like killing zombies so much?

A: They are easy tarrrrrrgets!

Q: Where did the pirate put his Halloween decoration?

A: In his front yarrrrrd!

Q: How will you make a pirate furious?

A: Just take away the “p”

Q: How do you know if a doctor is dressed up as a pirate?

A: He says AED a lot!

Q: What was the pirate’s favorite mode of land transportation?

A: Carrrrrrr
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What was the pirate’s favorite mode of land transportation? A: Carrrrrrr in black background

Q: Where do pirates put their cars while they’re sailing?

A: A parrrrrking lot

Q: Where do pirates keep their valuables?

A: In a jarrrr

Q: What was the pirate’s favorite U.S. state?

A: Arrrrkansas

Q: What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?

A: “Aye matey (I’m eighty) years old!”

Q: Why didn’t the pirate eat candy on Halloween?

A: He was on a low Carrrrrrb diet!
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Why didn’t the pirate eat candy on Halloween? A: He was on a low Carrrrrrb diet! in brown background
 
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Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
It just waved saying nothing.

Q: What soda do pirates’ always drink?

A: Arrrrrr Sea cola (RC Cola)

Q: Why do Pirates hang out in groups and drink on Halloween?

A: Coz they love to paarrrrrrty!

Q: How do pirates make their money?

A: By hook or by crook

Q: Where do pirates buy pencils and sketch pads?

A: The arrrrrrt store.
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Where do pirates buy pencils and sketch pads? A: The arrrrrrt store. in green background

Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?

A: 8 pirates

Q: What do pirates do for fun?

A: Have parrrrrrties

Q: What do pirates put on their toast?

A: Jelly Roger!

Q: What did the pirate’s parrot say when it fell in love with a duck?

A: Polly wants a ‘quacker.’

Q: What did the pirate penguin say to the parrot?

A: Nothing – penguins don’t speak parrot!
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What did the pirate penguin say to the parrot? A: Nothing – penguins don’t speak parrot! in green background
 
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Q: Which subjects does a pirate enjoy the most in school?

A: He enjoys ‘Aaarrrrttt’.

Q: What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?

A: One has a rumbling tummy and the other a tumbling rummy.

Q: How do you save a drowning pirate?

A: With C P ARRRRR.

Q: Why didn’t the pirate get hungry on the desert island?

A: Because of the sand-which is there!

Q: What does a pirate eat for breakfast?

A: Captain Crunch
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What does a pirate eat for breakfast? A: Captain Crunch in green background

Q: How much does a pirate pay for his piercings?

A: A buck-an-ear

Q: Why did the pirate like playing golf?

A: He was always under parrrrr.

Q: What does a gourmet pirate add to the plate to make it look nice?

A: A Garrrrr-nish

Q: What did the pirate say during the winter storm?

A: Thar she snows!

Q: What are pirates afraid of?

A: The darrrrrk!
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What are pirates afraid of? A: The darrrrrk! in black background
 
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Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?

A: The hook shot

Q: What do pirates do on Black Friday?

A: Shop the sails

Q: Why does it take the pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

A: Because they spend years at C

Q: Where do Pirates get their wooden legs from?

A: From a Carrrrrpenter!

Q: What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie?

A: Leeks!
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie? A: Leeks! in brown background

Q: I have never heard any funny pirate jokes, have you?

A: Well, neither have ayyyeee.

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?

A: The plank!

Q: What was the pirate’s favorite food?

A: Arrrrrtichokes!

Q: What shivers at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A nervous wreck

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite Halloween noise maker?

A: A parrrrty popper!
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What’s a pirate’s favorite Halloween noise maker? A: A parrrrty popper! in green background
 
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Q: Why did the pirate go to the Apple store?

A: He needed a new patch.

Q: Why did the pirate go to the college?

A: To become an arrrrrchitect!

Q: Why does the pirate carry his sword?

A: Because swords can’t walk

Q: What did the pirate say to his girlfriend?

A: “You are perfect just the way you Arrrrr!”

Q: What has 12 legs, 12 arms, and 12 eyes?

A: A dozen pirates
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What has 12 legs, 12 arms, and 12 eyes? A: A dozen pirates in green background

Q: Which Star Wars character do pirates like the most?

A: Aarrrrggh-2-D-2

Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

Q: What do you call a pirate’s painting?

A: Pirate’s painted piracy!

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite doll?

A: Baaaaarrrrrrbie!

Q: Which famous pirate was always sad?

A: Captain Blue-Beard
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Which famous pirate was always sad? A: Captain Blue-Beard in green background
 
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Q: How did the pirate stop computer hackers?

A: He installed a patch.

Q: What do you call a foolish pirate?

A: The pillage fool

Q: What are a pirate’s favorite letters?

A: Arrrr (R) and C (sea)

Q: What did the pirate get when he crossed a cat with a parrot?

A: A carrot!

Q: Where do pirates go for a drink?

A: At the sandbar
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Where do pirates go for a drink? A: At the sandbar in black background

Q: Why didn’t the pirate go to the movies?

A: Because it was rated Aaaargh.

Q: What type of socks do pirates wear?

A: Arrrrgyle!

Q: Why did the pirate give up playing golf?

A: Because he kept hooking the ball!

Q: What bank is a pirate’s favorite bank?

A: The sandbank

Q: What do pirates order at Italian restaurants?

A: Chicken Parrrrrmesan with spaghetti
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What do pirates order at Italian restaurants? A: Chicken Parrrrrmesan with spaghetti in brown background
 
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Q: Why did the shipwrecked pirate call his friend?

A: Because he trusted his friend-ship.

Q: Which Halloween candy do pirates like the most?

A: Sweet Tarrrrrts.

Q: Why do Pirates cry on their own?

A: Because they have private tears

Q: What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school?

A: Captain Hooky!

Q: Why don’t pirates go trick-or-treating on Halloween?

A: They arrrrr afraid of witches.
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Why don’t pirates go trick-or-treating on Halloween? A: They arrrrr afraid of witches. in green background

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?

A: BARRRR-B-Q!

Q: What did the pirate say to the sumo wrestler?

A: You sure arrrrr fat.

Q: What did the pirate get when he crossed a centipede and a parrot?

A: A walkie-talkie!

Q: What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?

A: A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

Q: Who was the first pirate?

A: Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Who was the first pirate? A: Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk. in green background
 
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Q: Why was the pirate digging at the beach?

A: To bury the hatchet!

Q: Why were the pirate’s friends with Donkey Kong?

A: Because he was a barrrrel of fun

Q: Where do pirates put their trash?

A: The Garrrrrbage can

Q: What did the pirate say when he made a mistake?

A: To arrrr is pirate

Q: What’s orange and sounds like a pirate’s parrot?

A: A carrot!
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What’s orange and sounds like a pirate’s parrot? A: A carrot! in green background

Q: What happens when one pirate sees another pirate?

A: Pira-See!

Q: What was the pirate’s girlfriend called?

A: Peggy!

Q: What did a pirate pay for his corn?

A: A buccaneer!

Q: Why do pirates make great lawyers?

A: Because they’re very skilled at arrrrrguing

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song?

A: The hook!
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song? A: The hook! in black background
 
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Q: Which side of a pirate’s parrot has the prettiest feathers?

A: The outside!

Q: Why did the pirate go to acting school?

A: He wanted a parrrrrt in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

Q: What did one pirate say to the other?

A: “I sea you!”

Q: What did the pirate wear on Halloween?

A: A pumpkin patch

Q: Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?

A: Right where ya left him
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs? A: Right where ya left him in brown background

Q: What do you get when you cross a pirate’s parrot and a shark?

A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Q: Why do people find it very hard to call a pirate?

A: Because he always leaves his phone off the hook

Q: Which baseball team did the pirate play for?

A: The Pittsburgh Pirates

Q: Why are pirates great singers?

A: They can hit the high Cs!

Q: How did one pirate greet another pirate?

A: “Hiii-est!”
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: How did one pirate greet another pirate? A: “Hiii-est!” in green background
 
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Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?

A: Swordfish

Q: What would you call a pirate with four eyes?

A: An iiiirate

Q: Why did the caged pirate dress up as a lawyer?

A: To pass through the barrrrs!

Q: What did the pirate’s first mate send down the stream?

A: The Captain’s log

Q: What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?

A: Termites
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?  A: Termites in green background

Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?

A: He got marooned.

Q: What do pirates eat on cold winter nights?

A: Hearrrrrty stews

Q: What do you call a pirate with two arms and two legs?

A: A not-a-pirate!

Q: Why is pirating so addictive?

A: They say, “Once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.”

Q: Which Pokemon could also be a pirate?

A: Arrrrrr-bok
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Which Pokemon could also be a pirate? A: Arrrrrr-bok in green background
 
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Q: Why can’t you take a picture of a pirate with a wooden leg?

A: Because a wooden leg doesn’t take pictures!

Q: On Halloween, where did all the pirates park their ships?

A: In the harrrrrbor!

Q: Which instrument do pirates love?

A: The guitaaarrrrr.

Q: What was the pirate’s parrot’s favorite game?

A: Hide and speak

Q: Why did the pirate cross the road?

A: To get to the second-hand shop
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: WWhy did the pirate cross the road? A: To get to the second-hand shop in black background

Q: Why did the pirate move to Russia?

A: To become a Czaaarrrrr

Q: What is a pirate’s favorite color?

A: Gold!

Q: Why do pirates love Thanksgiving?

A: They get to carrrrrve the turkey.

Q: What is a pirate’s hairstyle called?

A: A crew cut!

Q: How does a pirate get to the top of the building?

A: He takes the elevataaarrrrr!
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: How does a pirate get to the top of the building? A: He takes the elevataaarrrrr! in brown background
 
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Q: What type of apple do pirates always look for?

A: Jonagold!

Q: What does the captain keep up his sleeve?

A: His armie

Q: What do you say when a pirate steals during a storm?

A: Plunder and Lightning

Q: Where did Bluebeard the pirate get his name? 

A: One day, the sea the wind came and blew his beard right off!

Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus of the seas?

A: Captain Squid.
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: Who was the most famous pirate octopus of the seas? A: Captain Squid. in green background

Q: Which part of the deck stinks the most?

A: The poop deck.

Q:  What does Santa say while visiting pirates?

A: He says, “Row row row”.

Q: Which two football teams were at the finals of the pirate Superbowl?

A: The Buccaneers and the Seahawks.

Q: Where do pirates like to shop?

A: Tarrrrrrget.

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?

A: Booty and the Beast.
Pirate Jokes for Kids Question: What’s a pirate’s favorite movie? A: Booty and the Beast. in green background
 
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