210 Vegetable Jokes for Kids

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Kids love jokes! And what better way to get them interested in eating their vegetables than by telling them vegetable jokes? Here are some of our favorites.

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Vegetable Jokes for Kids

Do you like to tell jokes? Kids sure do! Here are some of the best jokes for kids. They’re silly, funny, and a little bit cheesy – but kids love them! Try out these vegetable jokes at your next family gathering and see how much fun you can have. Just be careful – you may end up with more laughs than you bargained for!

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Vegetable Jokes Sure To Make Your Kids Laugh

Purple eggplant with vegetable joke with a yellow border
  • Q: What’s small, red and whispers? A hoarse radish.
  • Q: Why are mushrooms always invited to parties? Because they are such fungis.
  • Q: Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a vegetable patch? Potatoes have eyes, the beans-talk and the corn have ears.
  • Q: What’s the fastest vegetable? A runner bean.
  • Q: What do you call a table you can eat? A vegetable.
  • Q: What do you call a vegetable heist? A farmed robbery.
  • Q: What is green and goes to camp? A brussels scout.
  • Q: What vegetable did Noah leave off the ark? The Leek.
  • Q: What vegetable do chickens grow? Eggplants.
  • Q: What kind of flower shouldn’t be put in a vase? Cauliflower.
  • Q: Which martial art are vegetables good at? Carrotee.
  • Q: What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch? Picking his nose.
  • Q: What did one carrot say to the other carrot? Is it orange in here, or is it just me?
  • Q: Why did the carrot get embarrassed? Because it saw the chickpea.
  • Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman? It all smells like carrots to me.
  • Q: What did the carrot say when it was told that the swede had won the school writing competition? That’s a turnip for the books.
  • Q: What did the carrot say to the celery? I know I’m popular, but please stop stalking me.
  • Q: What did the carrot say to the gardener at the country fair? I’m rooting for you; I’m certain the others won’t beet you.
  • Q: Why do potatoes keep falling out with each other? They can never see eye to eye.
  • Q: Why is it impossible to get angry with a yam? Because they’re such sweet potatoes.
  • Q: Who is the smartest potato in the vegetable patch? I yam.
orange carrot with vegetable joke with yellow border
  • Q: What did the sweet potato say to the kale? I yam what I yam.
  • Q: What do you call a stolen spud? A hot potato.
  • Q: How do you cheer up a baked potato? You butter her up.
  • Q: What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
  • Q: Why did the potato buy suntan lotion? So thought she may need it to stop her peeling on holiday.
  • Q: When should you harvest potatoes? On fry-day.
  • Q: Why is lettuce the kindest vegetable? Because it’s got heart.
  • Q: Why did the cucumber get angry? Because it was in a pickle.
  • Q: What is long, green and slowly turns red? A cucumber holding its breath.
  • Q: Which vegetable loves roller coasters? Celerweeeeeeeeeeeee.
  • Q: How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  • Q: What did the salad greens say to the hungry kids? We’ll make your mouth and your tummy happy, if you lettuce.
  • Q: Where did the cucumbers go on their date? The salad bar.
  • Q: What is a kayaker’s favourite kind of lettuce? Row-maine.
  • Q: How did the vegetables ask for a pay rise? Lettuce have a raisin celery.
  • Q: What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato when they were out walking? Ketchup.
  • Q: Why couldn’t the lettuce relax? Because she wasn’t cool as a cucumber.
  • Q: Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • Q: What did the lettuce say to the tomato? You hang around and I’ll go ahead.
  • Q: What is an elephant’s favorite vegetable? Squash.
Green pod split open with little peas with vegetable joke with a yellow border.
  • Q: What is a librarian’s favorite vegetable? Quiet peas.
  • Q: What’s a gym instructor’s favorite kind of vegetable? Spin-ach!
  • Q: What’s is a dressmaker’s favorite kind of vegetable? A string bean.
  • Q: What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable? Leeks.
  • Q: What is a taxi driver’s favorite kind of vegetable? A cab-bage.
  • Q: What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
  • Q: Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? Because it’s full of ears.
  • Q: What is the strongest vegetable? A muscle sprout.
  • Q: What do you call a retired vegetable? A has bean.
  • Q: How did the gardener mend his jeans? With a vegetable patch.
  • Q: What do you call a fast fungus? A mush-vroom.
  • Q: What kind of vegetable always gets jealous? A green bean.
  • Q: Why does everyone love the vegetable band? They always play a good beet.
  • Q: Why do cabbages always win races? Because they know how to get a-head.
  • Q: What vegetable grows in basements? Cellar-y.
  • Q: Why did the corn stalk get angry with the farmer? He kept pulling her ears.
  • Q: What happens when you leave corn in the barn for too long? It gets cob-webs.
  • Q: What did the baby corn of corn call his dad? Pop corn.
  • Q: What do vegetables want more than anything in the whole world? Peas on earth.
  • Q: What do you get when two peas fight? Black-eyed peas.
Red pepper with a vegetable joke with a yellow border.
  • Q: What’s the most uncomfortable kind of vegetable? Spin-ouch.
  • Q: Which vegetable is best at kung fu? Brock Lee.
  • Q: What did the organic vegetables die of? Natural causes.
  • Q: Why do fungi have to pay extra on the bus? Because they take up too mushroom.
  • Q: If you have five cabbages in one hand and six cauliflowers in the other hand, what do you have? Big hands.
  • Q: What was the cause of the veggie protest? An information leek.
  • Q: Why was the artichoke feeling sad? It had a broken heart.
  • Q: What do you call a bean that’s envious of another vegetable? A jelly bean!
  • Q: What do you call beans that have been in the sun too long? Baked beans!
  • Q: Why did the klutzy and gossipy chef get fired? He couldn’t stop spilling the beans.
  • Q: Why did the farmer lose the comedy competition? His jokes were too corny.
  • Q: Have you tried the best corn in the country? It’s ear-resistable!
  • Q: What did the ear of corn say when its crush complimented it? “Aww, shucks!”
  • Q: What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.
  • Q: What’s the highest position an ear of corn can get in the military? Kernel.
  • Q: Did you hear about the piece of corn that got in trouble? It got quite the earful.
  • Q: Did you hear about the two bunnies’ engagement? One of them got a 10-carrot ring!
  • Q: What’s a carrot’s favorite movie? The Carrot-tie Kid.
  • Q: Why did the carrot make a hair appointment? Its roots were showing.
  • Q: What’s a carrot’s favorite song? Carrot On Wayward Son.
Green broccoli with a vegetable joke with a yellow border.
  • Q: Why did the carrot visit a psychic? To get its carrot cards read.
  • Q: Why was the snowman embarrassed when shopping for carrots? It was picking its nose.
  • Q: What’s a carrot’s favorite drink? Root beer.
  • Q: What happened to the lettuce farmers who had their crops stolen? They lost their heads!
  • Q: Did you hear about the hardworking lettuce bunch? It was promoted to head of its department!
  • Q: Why did the head of lettuce get all dressed up? It was going on a romaine-tic date.
  • Q: What did the man do with his days-old salad? He tossed it.
  • Q: Why was the celery embarrassed? It walked in on the salad dressing.
  • Q: Why was the salad so tired? It was tossing and turning all night!
  • Q: Why did the tomato stay after school? To ketchup on its schoolwork.
  • Q: What did the pizza say to the tomato? “Don’t get saucy with me!”
  • Q: Why was the DJ a hit at vegetable parties? She dropped good beets.
  • Q: What school superlative did the happy beet get? Most up-beet.
  • Q: What did the tomato yell to its broccoli getaway driver after robbing a bank? “Floret!”
  • Q: What’s broccoli’s favorite music genre? Brock n’ roll.
  • Q: Why did cauliflower try to cheer up broccoli? It was feeling a little melon-ccoli.
  • Q: What did the waitress say when the restaurant ran out of broccoli? “Sorry, we’re out of stalk.”
  • Q: What do you get if you cross broccoli with a vampire?  Count Broccula.
  • Q: Why is broccoli a royal vegetable? It has crowns.
  • Q: What’s the difference between broccoli and cauliflower? Cauliflower is just broccoli that’s seen a ghost.
Purple eggplant with vegetable joke with a yellow border
  • Q: What type of flower shouldn’t be put in a vase? A cauliflower.
  • Q: What do you call a cauliflower that’s growing at the edge of the garden?  A border cauli.
  • Q: Why did the bee buy a phone?  To cauliflower.
  • Q: Why do onions live underground?  Because they have many lairs.
  • Q: What do you call an onion that jumps up and down?  A spring onion.
  • Q: Why did the woman start crying when her boyfriend proposed?  Because he gave her an onion ring.
  • Q: What do you call an onion that’s small and laughs a lot?  A tickled onion.
  • Q: What do you call a lazy spud?  A couch potato.
  • Q: Why do potatoes fall out with each other?  Because they can’t see eye to eye.
  • Q: Why is it hard to get angry with a yam?  Because they’re such sweet potatoes.
  • Q: What do you call a stolen spud?  A hot potato.
  • Q: What do you call a Disney movie about vegetables?  A fairy kale.
  • Q: Did you hear about the carrot that outran the rabbit?  He lived to tell the kale.
  • Q: What’s a gardener’s favorite type of trousers?  Ones with turnips.
  • Q: Why couldn’t the turnip go to the party?  It was grounded.
  • Q: What vegetable is always cold?  A chilli.
  • Q: Why was the artichoke feeling sad?  Its heart was broken.
  • Q: What’s a plumber’s favorite vegetable?  Leeks.
  • Is a jalapeño hot? No, it’s actually a little chilli.
  • Q: What’s a baby chick’s favorite vegetable? An egg-plant.
orange carrot with vegetable joke with yellow border
  • There was once a girl that only ate plants. You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
  • Q: What is the strongest vegetable? A muscle sprout.
  • Q: What kind of vegetable likes to look at animals? A zoo-chini!
  • Q: What is a zucchini’s favorite game? Squash!
  • Q: How did the farmer fix his jeans? With a cabbage patch!
  • Q: What’s the strongest vegetable? A muscle sprout

Vegetable Knock Knock Jokes

  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in and you’ll find out.
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean a while since I saw you.
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time to help me pick some veggies for dinner.
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hugo. Hugo who? Hugo that way to pick the vegetables.
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there?  Philip. Philip who? Philip the basket with vegetables, please.
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Juicy. Juicy who? Juicy who ate all the vegetables?
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Nano. Nano who? Nano who ate all the vegetables?
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Turnip. Turnip who? Turnip the radio, please.

Vegetable Puns And One-Liners

  • Vegetable puns make me feel good from my head tomatoes.
  • I buy my girlfriend vegetables every valentine’s day; she thinks I’m corny.
  • We lost our dog when we went to the market to buy vegetables; if you see him, lettuce know.
  • Just turned down a job at my local vegetable shop; the celery was unacceptable.
  • Can I get some peas and quiet?!
Green pod split open with little peas with vegetable pun with a yellow border.
  • I’m kale-ing it a day.
  • Peas don’t go.
  • Where have you bean all my life?
  • Bean there, done that.
  • Thank you for bean-ing a friend.
  • You’re a-maize-ing
  • The corn farmer doesn’t like to make plans—he prefers to play everything by ear.
  • I really carrot-bout you!
  • Of course carrots like sports—they love rooting for their favorite team.
  • I do not carrot all.
  • Romaine calm!
  • Lettuce know if you’re having a good time.
  • Care to chat for the romaine-der of the meeting?
  • You won’t be-leaf this!
  • Lettuce romaine friends after all this.
  • That romaines a mystery…
  • Lettuce entertain you.
  • I’ve never made Caesar salad before—but I can take a stab at it.
  • The salad got into a fight with its friend and said some harsh words—now, it’s full of vin-regret.
  • Is it too-mate to say sorry?
Red pepper with a vegetable pun with a yellow border.
  • I love you from my head to-ma-toes!
  • Does it really ‘mater?
  • You’re un-beet-lievable.
  • You make my heart skip a beet!
  • Beet it!
  • You brock!
  • A laughing stalk
  • Broc’ n’ Roll
  • Broc on!
  • Time to celery-brate
  • You look radishing
  • I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
  • Lettuce turnip the beet
  • Romaine calm
  • Lettuce know
  • That’s shallot of onions
  • Don’t beet around the bush
  • My heart skipped a beet
  • Don’t stop the beetroot
  • Don’t miss a beet
Green broccoli with a vegetable pun with a yellow border.
  • I think, therefore I yam
  • I yam so impressed
  • Taters gonna tate
  • I yam what I yam
  • Don’t kale my vibe
  • Ha ha! You kale me
  • Dressed to kale
  • Kale-ing it today
  • That’s a turnip for the books
  • Is there a turnip ahead?
  • Turnip the volume
  • Eat, drink and be rosemary
  • That’s sage advice
  • Parsley the test
  • Do you need some encourage-mint?
  • I just don’t have the thyme
  • Never a dill moment
  • We’re mint to be
  • Bay-leaf in yourself
  • Herb your enthusiasm
Purple eggplant with vegetable pun with a yellow border
  • Party thyme!
  • Good chives only
  • A little chilli
  • Chard times
  • Red pepper day
  • Don’t be chilli
  • Egg-plant a kiss
  • Going into un-chard-ed territory
  • You pepper believe it
  • Olive you so much

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