80 Festive Thanksgiving Jokes For Kids

Thanksgiving is a time for giving thanks and spending time with family, and friends. It’s also a time for making memories and what better way to make memories than telling jokes? The best way our family makes memories is by telling jokes, especially during Thanksgiving dinner. Here are some of the best Thanksgiving Jokes for kids that will keep you laughing all day long!

Thanksgiving Jokes For Kids

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images of Indians and pilgrims on thanksgiving jokes for kids card

The Best Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain?

A: Pil-grimace.

Q: What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain? Pil-grimace.
Q: Who helped the squash cross the road? The crossing gourd
Q: What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
Q: What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
Q: Why did Johnny get such low grades after Thanksgiving? Because everything is marked down after the holidays
Q: Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.

Q: Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner? He lost track of Thyme
Q: What Thanksgiving side dish could be given out at Halloween? Candied yams!
Q: What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner? Breakfast or lunch.
Q: What’s inside a genie’s turkey? Wishbones.
Q: How do you weigh a pilgrim? In pil-grams.
Q: What type of glass does a turkey drink from? A gobblet.
Q: What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common? One has gobblers, the other has goblins!
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
Q: What’s Frankenstein’s favorite Thanksgiving dish? Monster mashed potatoes and grave-y.
Q: What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape
Q: Why did Johnny come to school late on the day after Thanksgiving? Because it was Black Friday, and he gave himself 50% off the school day
Q: Why did Pilgrims eat turkey at the first Thanksgiving? They couldn’t fit a whale in the oven.
Q: What do you call an accident-prone Pilgrim? A spill-grim.
Q: Did you hear about the Roanoke residents? It was very unsettling.

Did you hear about the Roanoke residents?

A: It was very unsettling.

Q: How does a roasted Turkey flirt?
Hey I loved meeting you, and this is gravy, the best you can do now, is carve me maybe.
Q: What always comes at the beginning of a parade?
The letter P.

Q: Where did the first corn come from? The stalk brought it.
Q: Why didn’t the pilgrim want to make the bread? It’s a crummy job.
Q: Where did the pilgrims first stand? On their feet.
Q: Why did the farmer use the steam roller on his potato field? He wanted to cultivate mashed potatoes!!

Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on Thanksgiving? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk
Q: What’s a decent term for constipation after Thanksgiving? Turkey is in a state of limbo.
Q: What’s John Wayne’s favorite holiday? Thanksgiving, Pilgrim.
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
Q: How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? It hugged the shore
Q: Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers? To keep his wigwam.
Q: What was the turkey looking for at Toys ‘R Us? Gobbleheads.
Q: What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.
Q: What do you call a sad cranberry? A blueberry.
Q: What does a Pilgrim call his friends? Pal-grims.
Q: What do salt and pepper say at the table? Seasonings’ greetings!
Q: How many cranberries grow on a bush? All of them!
Q: How do you fix a broken pumpkin pie? With a pumpkin patch!
Q: What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
Q: What kind of cars do pilgrims drive? Plymouths!

Q: What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean.
Q: What did grandpa say when he was full? Oh my Gourd! I am too full!!
Q: If British colonists are called Pilgrims, what do you call colonists from Spain? Spanish Acquisition.
Q: Who scared the cranberry? The boo-berry.
Q: What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving? May the forks be with you.
Q: Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? Because April showers bring MayFlowers.
Q: What kind of vegetable would you like on thanksgiving? Beets me!
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
Q: What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The G!

Q: What is the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer? A pirate buries his treasure while a cranberry farmer treasures his berries
Q: Who does a Puritan see just before he dies? The pil-grim reaper.
Q: Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary!
Q: What do you call a Pilgrim’s vocabulary? Pilgrammar
Q: What do you call a pilgrim back from a beach vacation? Puri-tan.
Q: What kind of vegetables would your family like on Thanksgiving? Beets me!
Q: What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes? Squash casserole
Q: If they took Thanksgiving Day off the calendar, what would you have? One week with only six days in it.
Q: Why do pilgrims’ pants keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats
Q: What vegetable was hiding in the basement on Thanksgiving? Cellar-y

Q: If the pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their age!
Q: What did the salad say to the butter who constantly kept on cracking jokes? Bro, you are on a roll!
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?
Q: When did the Pilgrims first say, “God bless America”? The first time they heard America sneeze.
Q: Did you hear about the pilgrims involved in a class-action lawsuit? They reached a settlement
Q: Why couldn’t dad stop moistening the turkey with juices? It appealed to his baster instincts.
Q: What side dish tells the worst jokes? Corn(y) bread!

Thanksgiving Puns

I only have pies for you. card with brown border

I only have pies for you.
Gobble ’til you wobble.
Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
Let’s get basted.
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.

Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes

Knock knock! Who’s there? Don! Don, who? Don eat all the gravy, I want some more.
Knock knock! Who’s there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee, Who? Norma Lee I don’t drink and eat this much!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Esther! Esther, who? Esther any more sweet potato pie?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Eddie! Eddie!, Who? Eddie more stuffing, and I’m going to get a stomach ache.

Knock knock! Who’s there? Annie! Annie, Who? Annie body seen the turkey?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur, who? Arthur any leftovers?”
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ava! Ava, who? Ava seen a play about the first Thanksgiving?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wanda! Wanda, who? Wanda go watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade?

What other Thanksgiving jokes do you love? Don’t forget to share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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