75 Hysterical Teacher Jokes for Kids

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With school around the corner, these teacher jokes for kids are just what you need to get a laugh and get excited about the new school year. Don’t worry, these jokes are clean, so you won’t have to write “I will not tell bad jokes” on the whiteboard over and over again!

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Jokes are the perfect way to break the ice and get kids to laugh, so you know that these teacher jokes for kids are just what you need to introduce to your kids to as the school year is about to start!

These teacher jokes for kids won’t get your kids in trouble and get them sent to the principal’s office because they are clean and perfect for kids and adults of all ages. They are sure to make everyone chuckle without turning red out of embarrassment when the punch line is said.

For more funny jokes you will laugh out loud, be sure to check out some of our other favorites like our Chocolate Jokes for Kids, Mountain Jokes for Kids, and our Spy jokes for kids.

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Teacher Jokes for Kids

Q: How is an English teacher like a judge?

A: A: They both give out sentences.

Q: What’s one of the first things ant teachers do in the morning?

A: Lead the class with the national anthum.

Q: Why did the teacher put the chalk in front of a TV?

A: She didn’t like the chalk bored.

Q: Why did the teacher bring slippers to school?

A: For when she’s in the teacher’s lounge.

Q: Why did the teacher only allow measuring tape in the classroom?

A: She wanted to be the only ruler.
Teacher Jokes for Kids: Why did the teacher only allow measuring tape in the classroom? A: She wanted to be the only ruler. in a blue background

Q: On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?

A: June, July & August.

Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?

A: Square meals

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?

A: Pi

Q: Which U.S. state has the most algebra teachers?

A: Mathachussets.

Q: Why did the algebra teacher go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?

A: To protect himself from mathema-ticks.
 
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Teacher Jokes for Kids: Why did the algebra teacher go to school with his pants tucked into his socks? A: To protect himself from mathema-ticks. in a pink background

Q: Which class was the caterpillar excited about teaching in school?

A: Mothematics.

Q: What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?

A: Arithma-sticks.

Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed on the first day of school?

A: She couldn’t control her pupils.

Q: Why don’t they let giraffes teach elementary school?

A: They can only teach in High School.

Q: Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy day of school?

A: He only had one pupil.
Teacher Jokes for Kids: Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy day of school? A: He only had one pupil. in a bluegreen background

Q: Which grade school teachers have the greenest thumbs?

A: The kinderGARDEN teachers.

Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?

A: The first says “Spit out that bubble gum” and the second says “chew chew.”

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite season?

A: Sum-mer.

Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher allow her students to say 288 in class?

A: Because it’s two gross. (Hint: 144 is called a gross)

Q: Why was the geometry book so adorable?

A: Because it had acute angles.
 
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Teacher Jokes for Kids: Why was the geometry book so adorable? A: Because it had acute angles. in a purple background

Q: What did the girl say to her math book?

A: Some day, you’re going to have to solve your own problems.

Q: What’s treat do math teachers in Maine bring to the first day of class?

A: Whoopie Pi’s.

Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?

A: Someone you can always count on.

Q: How did the teacher make the first day of school fly by?

A: She threw a clock!

Q: How did Viking teachers communicate?

A: By norse code.
Teacher Jokes for Kids: How did Viking teachers communicate? A: By norse code. in a gray background

Q: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?

A: Because he swept her off her feet.

Q: What is the most popular dessert for teachers in Georgia?

A: Peach pi.

Q: Where do teachers with a sweet tooth like to teach?

A: In sundae school. (so they can eat an ice cream sundae)

Q: Why did the teacher give the student a wet report card?

A: Because his grades were below C level.

Q: Which room can a teacher never enter?

A: A Mushroom.
 
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Teacher Jokes for Kids: Which room can a teacher never enter? A: A Mushroom. in a blue background

Q: What answer did the teacher get when she asked her student to pay a little attention?

A: But I’m paying as little attention as I can.

Q: What do math teachers eat on Thanksgiving?

A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: Why did the math teacher hand out eye glasses during class?

A: To help her students with their di-vison.

Q: Who is the most famous Physical Education teacher?

A: Jim Nasium.

Q: What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a clock?

A: Mathema-ticks.
Teacher Jokes for Kids: What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a clock? A: Mathema-ticks. in a pink background

Q: Where do math teachers go on New Year’s Eve?

A: Times Square

Q: What are ten things teachers can always count on?

A: Their fingers!

Q: Why did the student go to jail?

A: The teacher threw the book at him.

Q: What subject did sibling teachers Bob and Bill Smith teach?

A: AlgeBRO.

Q: Why was music class so hard?

A: Too many notes.
 
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Teacher Jokes for Kids: Why was music class so hard? A: Too many notes. in a bluegreen background

Q: What did the teacher say about the pizza student?

A: There’s mushroom for improvement!

Q: What’s an English teacher’s favourite cereal?

A: Synonym Grahams

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: What’s the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?

A: Getting lost.

Q: Why are teachers like bank robbers?

A: They both want everybody to raise their hands.
Teacher Jokes for Kids: Why are teachers like bank robbers? A: They both want everybody to raise their hands. in a purple background

Q: Why aren’t you doing well in history?

A: Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened before I was born!

Q: How do you comfort a grammar teacher?

A: Say… “They’re, there, their.”

Teacher: What is the most common phrase used in school?

Student: I don’t know!

Teacher: Correct!

Q: Why did the teacher go to the beach?

A: To test the water.

Q: Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?

A: Student: Big hands!
 
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Teacher Jokes for Kids: Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have? A: Student: Big hands! in a gray background

Q: Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at John’s exam?

A: Student: I hope you didn’t either.

Q: Teacher: What is the shortest month?

A: Student: May, it only has three letter

Q: Teacher: Answer my question at once. What is 7 plus 2?

A: Student: At once!

Q: Why did closing her eyes remind the teacher of her classroom?

A: Because there were no pupils to see.

Q: What did the ghost teacher say to the class?

A: Look at the board and I will go through it again.
Teacher Jokes for Kids: What did the ghost teacher say to the class? A: Look at the board and I will go through it again. in a blue background

Q: What time would it be if Godzilla came to school?

A: Time to run!

Q: Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?

A: The “C”

Q: What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?

A: The kindergarden!

Q: Why did the egg get thrown out of class?

A: Because he kept telling yolks.

Q: Why did the dog do so well in school?

A: Because he was the teacher’s pet.
 
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Teacher Jokes for Kids: Why did the dog do so well in school? A: Because he was the teacher’s pet.in a pink background

Q: Why do magicians do so well in school?

A: They’re good at trick questions.

Q: Where do surfers go to school?

A: Boarding school.

Q: Why did the jellybean go to school?

A: To become a smartie!

Q: What do you call Santa’s brothers and sisters? 

A: Relative clauses.

“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Punctuation is important.
Teacher Jokes for Kids: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.” Punctuation is important. in a bluegreen background

Teacher: “Name two pronouns?”

Student: “Who, me?”

“Can I go to the toilet?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You just have.”

Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Why do teenagers always travel in groups of three?

Because they can’t even.
 
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Teacher Jokes for Kids: Why do teenagers always travel in groups of three? Because they can’t even.  in a purple background

XX female
XY male

YYY Delilah

Q: What do you do when no one laughs at your science jokes?

A: Keep trying until you get a reaction.

Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?

Student: To be honest, not really.

The past, the present and the future all walked into a bar.

It was tense.

Q: Who is a teacher’s best friend at school?

A: The princi-PAL.
Teacher Jokes for Kids: Who is a teacher’s best friend at school? A: The princi-PAL.  in a gray background

Do you have some more favorite teacher jokes for kids that we missed? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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