70 Silly Pencil Puns That Will Make You Sharp

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Ready for some puns that will make you nice and sharp? These pencil puns won’t leave you feeling pointless. So sharpen up your skills to try your hand at these.

teal background with yellow pencils with white text that says "pencil puns"

In our family, we love good jokes and puns. They always are the perfect icebreaker and leave everyone laughing. These silly pencil puns are no different. My kids always love making each other laugh with a little pencil humor; they never say that they are pointless, that’s for sure. They will be sure to make you extra sharp and witty!

And moms and dads, we have good news for you! If you are tired of puns feeling a little sketchy, there is no need to worry because these pencil puns will leave you feeling sharp because they are clean and kid-friendly. No need to use your eraser to get these out of your mind. So sharpen up your skills and see how many pencil puns you can solve.

While you are at it, check out our Art Puns and our Outer Space Puns for even more laughter!

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Pencil Puns

pencil pun with yellow pencil and teal border
  • Are pencils still considered stationary if they can roll?
  • The other night, someone tried to sell me a pencil with erasers on both ends. I didn’t understand the point.
  • Sharpening pencils in the dark is pointless. 
  • During my exam, my pencil broke. I wanted to continue with the exam, but it was pointless.
  • My pencil broke as I tried to draw a rectangle, making it a wrecked angle.
  • A police officer approached me with a pencil and paper and wanted me to trace someone for him. 
  • My house is a little sketchy looking with all of these pencil drawings lying around. 
  • Did you know that pencils shave to look sharp?
  • Scissors get a little snippy whenever the pencil makes an excellent point.
  • The pen only lived up to half of its name, which is the primary distinction between it and the pencil.
  • The sad guy said ” there’s no point,” when he snapped his pencil.
  • Pencil sketching… is where I draw the line
  • If you roll a pencil down a hill, is it stationery?
  • My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.
  • You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
pencil pun with yellow pencil and teal border
  • Q: What is a pencil with two erasers called? Pointless.
  • Q: What happened to the finance guy with constipation? He had to figure it out with a pencil because he could not budget.
  • Q: When you sharpen a pencil, what do you get? A great point.
  • I just wanted to make a little quip about a pencil. Whatever, there’s no point.
  • Q: What did the pencil point say to the eraser? Destroy. 
  • Q: What did the pencil say to the doctor? “I can’t go number 2!”
  • Q: Why did the pencil use the restroom? It was number 2!
  • Q: What state do pencils like to visit? Of course it is pencil-vania.
  • Q: Why do mathematicians rarely experience constipation? They can always use a pencil to figure it out if things get difficult.
  • Q: What did the gunfighter say to the pencil in a match? Draw!
  • People who draw with pencils are hard for me to trust. They are shady.
  •  An assortment of pencils believed to have belonged to Shakespeare has been discovered. They are so completely chewed up on the ends that we can’t tell if they are 2B or not 2B.
  • Q: What happened to the pencil that was hurt in prison? Mid-sentence, it broke. 
  • Q: What is the connection between John Wick and mathematicians? They are able to solve any issue with a pencil.
  • Q: What did the sharper say to the pencil? Why don’t you come close? I need to make a point.”
  • Q: What did the pencil say to the other pencil? “Hey, you look sharp.”
  • The comedian asked the audience, ” have you heard the pencil joke yet?” The crowd responded, “No.” The comedian said, ” that’s good, there is no point.”
  • I was trying to draw a rectangle but my pencil broke. Now it’s a wrecked angle.
  • I don’t like pencil drawings of dark alleys. Too sketchy
  • Today’s my husband’s birthday and he’s a huge pencil enthusiast. I got him a great gift, seems like someone’s gonna get lead tonight.
  • Q: Why does a pencil never takes it´s medicine? Because then it would be a penchealthy.
  • I made a pencil with 2 erasers today, It was pointless
  • Q: Who is in charge of the pencil box? The ruler
  • Have you heard the story of the blunt pencil? It’s got no point
  • Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil. It wasn’t 2b.
  • I’ve decided to marry a pencil. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
  • A pencil isn’t John Wick’s primary murder weapon. But it’s definitely number 2.
  • I’m going to stop calling them “pencil sharpeners” , And start calling them “pencil shorteners”. We’ll see how long my family can take it
  • My new pencil sharpener came with a good set of instructions. It was full of useful pointers.
  • Did you hear about the artist who gave up on his uncompleted drawing after accidentally breaking his pencil? Apparently, there was no point to continue drawing the picture
  • Q: Road trip – why did the Dad tell the kids to take out their pencil and pad? The sign said Draw bridge.
  • I have been making pencil sketches of my family and it’s not exciting at all. Back to the drawing, bored
  • Q: Why did the pencil smell so bad? It was a #2
  • I’ve been trying to solve a complicated maths question to take my mind off my constipation. Today, using only a pencil and sheer determination… I finally worked it out.
  • My friend bought a microscopically precise pencil sharpener. I don’t see the point.
  • Q: Why should you bring a pencil sharpener to every class? So you always get the point!
  • Q: Do you know who won when the Pencil Rugby Club played the Pen Rugby Club? Neither, it was a draw.
  • Looking for a pencil, I asked in the local shop if they keep stationery. Chap said “I move around a bit”.
  • Q: A blind girl lost her pencil, her ring, and her dog, what did she lose first? Her eye sight
  • Q: Why do pencils shave? To look sharp.
  • I was going to try to post a joke about sharpening pencils in the dark… But I couldn’t see the point.
  • Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget so he had to work it out with a pencil.
  • I threw a pencil yesterday, I suppose you could say it wasn’t stationary anymore
  • Q: What do you call a pencil you’ve just thrown out the window? I don’t know. But it’s certainly not stationary.
  • Someone stole all the pencils at the police station, Detectives have no leads.
  • Q: Why don’t mathematicians ever get constipated? If things get hard they can always work it out with a pencil.
  • I’m about to embark on a huge art conquest of Shakespeare’s work and am undecided on which pencil to use… 2B or not 2B
  • A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper. He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
  • Q: How does a pencil hire their workers? He appoints them
  • Being left handed I was always told I was more creative but all I noticed was that I smudge the words when writing with pencil. I guess it’s a blessing and a cursive.
  • I went to the doctor’s office. The phlebotomist appeared, holding a sketchbook and a pencil, and said… “Hold still so I can draw your blood.”
  • Q: What do you call somebody who hates pencil marks because they’re black? Erasist.
  • The pencil sharpeners at my school are racist. They have signs next to them that say “No Colored Pencils”.
  • Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Broken Pencil. Broken Pencil who? Agh. Never Mind. Its pointless.

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