It’s no secret that kids love to laugh! Let your kids loose with these jokes for kids that are family-friendly, clean, and are guaranteed to get everyone laughing!
If you love a good joke that is kid friendly then you have landed on the right list of jokes! Here your kids will find short and sweet jokes that are easy to remember. These jokes are super funny and perfect for little and big kids alike.
These jokes for kids are clean and perfect to share with anyone. No more cringing at the punch line, thanks to this list.
Get the Giggles Ready!
There is one thing that I love most of all in this world and it is the sound of little kids laughing! Whether they are playing games, looking at memes, or telling each other knock-knock jokes that sound of laughter brings me to laughter every single time.
I especially love when kids first discover the world of jokes. It is so funny to hear them tell jokes and laugh at them.
To make it easier on kids to always have a good joke on hand, we have rounded up 275+ jokes for kids all in one place. Sure some of these jokes are a little cheesy but they are totally laughable, especially when your kids are telling them!
So get ready to sit back and crack up with these clean jokes for kids that are simply perfect for anyone who wants a good laugh! Be sure to bookmark this page so you can find it often!
Do your kids love jokes?
Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!
Grab your set now! There are over 50+ pages of jokes included! This is a digital download, so it is easy! Just download, print, and enjoy!
The Best Jokes for Kids
Q: Why are snails slow?A: Because they’re carrying their house on their back!
Q: Can February March?A: No, but April May.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?A: The North Poll!
Q: What time do ducks wake up?A: At the quack of dawn.
Q: Why did the soccer player take so long to eat dinner?A: He thought he couldn’t use his hands!
Q: Why did the giraffes get bad grades?A: She had her head in the clouds.
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?A: Odor in the court!
Q: What did the flower say after it told a joke?A: I was just pollen your leg.
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?A: Mice-cream!
Q: Why didn’t the koala bear get the job?A: They said she was over-koala-fied.
Q: When is a well dressed lion like a weed?A: When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion)
Q: Who was that owl who did all the tricks?A: Who-dini.
Q: What do you call a guy who’s really loud?A: Mike!
Q: What kind of vegetable is angry?A: A steamed carrot!
Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?A: Pleased to eat you!
Q: How does the moon stay up in the sky?A: Moonbeams!
A: What’s a cat’s favorite food?A: Mice bubbles!
Q: Why isn’t there a clock in the library?A: Because it tocks too much.
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?A: He felt funny!
Q: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?A: Because they’re so good at it!
Q: Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize?A: He was outstanding in his field!
Q: What day of the week are most twins born on?A: Twos-day!
Q: What fish only swims at night?A: A star fish!
Q: What’s yellow and looks like pineapple?A: A lemon with a new haircut.
Q: What do sprinters eat before a race?A: Nothing. They fast!
Q: What did the lunchbox say to the banana?A: You really have appeal.
Q: Why is a fish easy to weigh?A: Because it has its own scales!
Q: What did the mouse say to the keyboard?A: You’re my type!
Q: What do pirates pay for corn?A: A buck an ear!
Q: What did the science book say to the math book?A: Wow, you’ve got problems.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To show everyone he wasn’t chicken!
Q: How do squids get to school?A: They take an octobus.
Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?A: Toad!
Q: Where do mermaids look for jobs?A: The kelp-wanted section.
Q: Why did the lion spit out the clown?A: Because he tasted funny!
Q: What word starts with the letter t, ends with the letter t, and has t in it?A: A teapot!
Q: Why are elevator jokes so good?A: They work on many levels!
Q: What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?A: Lost.
Q: What animals are on legal documents?A: Seals!
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?A: To make up for his miserable summer.
Q: How does the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it!
Q: Why did the woman become an archeologist?A: Because her career was in ruins.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?A: A pie-thon!
Q: What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?A: Primemates!
Q: Why did an old man fall in a well?A: Because he couldn’t see that well!
Q: What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?A: A roamin’ Catholic.
Q: How do bees get to school?A: By school buzz!
Q: Why is there a gate around cemeteries?A: Because people are dying to get in!
Q: Why are peppers the best at archery?A: Because they habanero!
Q: What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?A: A strawberry.
Q: What animal has more lives than a cat?A: Frogs, they croak every night!
Q: How do they answer the phone at the paint store?A: Yellow!
Q: Why did the tomato blush?A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why do scissors always win a race?A: Because they take a shortcut!
Q: What did the spider do on the computer?A: Made a website!
Q: Why did the king go to the bathroom?A: He wanted to sit on the throne.
Q: What did the duck say after she bought chapstick?A: Put it on my bill!
Q: How do cats bake cake?A: From scratch.
Q: What is black; white; green and bumpy?A: A pickle wearing a tuxedo.
Q: What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat?A: Brain food.
Q: What do you do when a lemon gets sick?A: You give it lemon-aid.
Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?A: With a can of tomato paste.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?A: I’m not telling you. You might spread it!
Q: How do you make the word Tiger longer?A:Ti-grrrh!
Q: What did the big flower say to the little flower?A: Hi, bud!
Q: What do frogs order at McDonalds?A: French flies and a Croak-a-Cola.
Q: Why do the French like to eat snails?A: Because they don’t like fast food!
Q: Where does a rat go when it has a toothache?A: To the rodentist.
Q: Why did the kid throw his clock out the window?A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: What does an alien do when it is bored in school?A: Spaces out.
Q: Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea?A: To go with the jellyfish!
Q: What does a broken plate say when she gets her cupcake?A: Is this GLUE-ten free?
Q: Why are fish so smart?A: Because they live in schools!
Q: Why didn’t the hyena cross the road?A: He was too busy laughing.
Q: What do you call candy that was stolen?A: Hot chocolate!
Q: What do you call it when a hammock teases another hammock?A: Hammockery!
Q: Where do polar bears keep their money?A: In a snow bank!
Q: What did they say when Marie Curie and Albert Einstein said the same thing at the same time?A: Greatest minds think alike!
Q: What kind of nuts always seems to have a cold?A: Cashews!
Q; What did the kid learn about knowledge?A: It was all knowing.
Q: Why did the pony get sent to his room?A: He wouldn’t stop horsing around!
Q: Why did the chicken go the hospital?A: Because it needed some tweatment!
Q: What is green and sings?A: Elvis Parsley!
Q: Why did the skeletons cross the road?A: To get to the body shop!
Q: What do you call a bear with no ears?A: A “B!”
Q: What do you call babies in the army?A: Infantry!
Q: What candy do you eat on the playground?A: Recess pieces.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite color?A: Purrr-ple!
Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician?A: Pick a cod, any cod!
Q: Why did the dragon cross the road?A: Because he was too chicken to fly!
Q: How do you make a walnut laugh?A: Crack it up!
Q: Who won the race of princesses?A: Rapunzel, By a hair!
Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?A: Because he was a little shellfish!
Q: What did the egg say when it was late for breakfast?A: I have to scramble!
Q: What do elves make sandwiches with?A: Shortbread!
with an orange border and a family-friendly joke.
Q: Where does the T-rex go shopping?A: The dino store!
Q: Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?A: Because she’s always running away from the ball!
Q: Why was the rabbit happy?A: Because somebunny loved him!
Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Q: What did the pear say to the shoeless?A: You need a pear of shoes.
Q: What is a pretzel’s favorite dance?A: The twist!
Q: What would happen if the dean lost his job?A: He would lose his “ideanity.”
Q: Where do cows go on Friday nights?A: They go to the moo-vies!
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?A: To get to the whine shop!
Q: What are twins favorite fruit?A: Pears!
Q: Why shouldn’t you trust stairs?A: Because they are always up to something.
Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?A: Between us, something smells!
Q: What do you call a cat burrito?A: A purrito
Q: How do you make a milk shake?A: Give it a good scare!
Q: What do you call a pounding headache?A: A temple tantrum!
Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?A: An astronut!
Q: How do you get a cat to code?A: You Scratch it!
Q: What kind of keys do kids like to carry?A: Cookies!
Q: What is the strongest kind of shoe?A: Under Armor!
Q: What cheese is made backwards?A: Edam!
Q: Why did Rudolph have a bad report card?A: Because he went down in History!
Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?A: Had a byte!
Q: How do you clean a chicken?A: An egg wash!
Q: Why do bicycles fall over?A: Because they’re two-tired!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?A: Because there was noBody on the other side.
Q: What did Mars say to Saturn?A: Give me a ring sometime.
Q: What do you do when an astronaut’s wife is upset?A: Give her some space.
Q: What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?A: Thunderwear!
Q: Why did the young astronaut cry on the moon?A: Because he missed his mother earth.
Q: Where does seaweed go to look for a job?A: The kelp wanted section.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?A; A blood orange!
Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing “Happy Birthday?”A: Because she was a little hoarse!
Q: Why don’t eggs like to gamble?A: They always get a raw deal.
Q: When is the moon the heaviest?A: When it’s full!
Q: Why did the scientist take out the bell?A: He wanted to win the no-bell prize.
Q: If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay?A: A bagel!
Q: Why are strawberries natural musicians?A: They love to jam.
Q: What type of songs do the planets sing?A: Nep-tunes!
Q: Did you hear about the kid who drank eight sodas?A: He burped 7-Up.
Q: What kind of flower grows on your face?A: Tulips!
Q: What did Mama cow say to Baby cow?A: It’s pasture bedtime.
Q: What washes up on very small beaches?A: Microwaves!
Q: Why did the phone walk in the water?A: He was wading for a phone call.
Q; What do you call an attractive volcano?A: Lava-ble!
Q: What is blue, but not heavy?A: Light blue.
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?A: Lots of memory!
Q: What happened to the frog whose car broke down?A: He had to be toad!
Q: Where do all the cool mice live?A: In their mousepads!
Q: What is the best day to visit McDonalds?A: Fry-Day!
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?A: A screensaver!
Q: Why did the tomato stop?A: Because he was out of juice.
Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat!
Q: What kind of stick does a cat chase?A: A cat-stick!
Q: Why was the computer cold?A: It left it’s Windows open!
Q: How do chickens dance?A: Chick to chick.
Q: What is a computer virus?A: A terminal illness!
Q: Who sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?A: A nervous wreck.
Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?A: It had a virus!
Q: What’s a dog’s favorite toy?A: A funny bone!
Q: What did the buffalo say when his little boy left for school?A: Bison!
Q: What’s a cow’s favorite rock?A: A mooo-n rock
Q; What do you call a little legume?A: A Tinybean.
Q: What’s the scariest plant?A: Bam-booo!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse?A: Because he felt crummy!
Q: What do you call Chewbacca with cookies in its fur?A: A chocolate-chip Wookie.
Q: Why did the police play baseball?A: He wanted to get a catch!
Q: A new pig came to the farm, he was a great painter. What do you think his name was?A: Pigasso!
Q: What is the name of the Dutch pig who was famous for painting sunflowers and cutting off his ear?A: Vincent van Hog
Q: Why do vampires seem sick all the time?A: Because they’re always coffin!
Q: Which milkshake always comes with a straw?A: A strawberry milkshake
Q: What kind of lion doesn’t roar?A: A dandelion.
Q: What stories do crustaceans like best?A: Lobster Tales
Q: How can you make a tissue dance?A: Put a little boogie in it!
Q: What did the basketball say to the hoop when it missed?A: Oh shoot!
Q: When does a joke become a “dad” joke?A: When the punchline is a parent.
Q: Why did the lion cross the road?A: To get to the other pride!
Q: What kind of room doesn’t have doors?A: A mushroom!
Q: Why did the nurse have a red crayon?A: To draw blood.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur fart?A: A blast from the past.
Q: What mood best describes a sad librarian?A: Under the books.
Q: What animal can you always find at a baseball game?A: A bat!
Q: What do you call a Buffalo that likes beef?A: A Beef-alo
Q: What did the limestone say to the geologist?A: Don’t take me for granite!
Q: What does a camel say to a hunter?A: Do you need some camel-flage
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?A: Just in case he got a hole in one!
Q: Why does the dentist use a computer?A: Because it has Bluetooth.
Q: What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?A: A wise quacker.
Q: Can a match box?A: No, but a tin can!
Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles!
Q: Why was the baby in Egypt?A: It was looking for its mummy.
Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?A: They make up everything.
Q: What do girl snakes write at the bottom of their letters?A: With love and hisses.
Q: Why did the boy throw a stick of butter out the window?A: Because he wanted to see a butterfly!
Q: What do you call a bee that buzzes quietly?A: A mumble bee.
Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?A: Because her parents were in a jam.
Q: How does a vampire start a letter?A: Tomb it may concern…
Q: What did the sink say to the toilet?A: Wow, you look really flushed!
Q: Sandy’s mum has four kids; North, West, East, and?A: Sandy of course!
Q: What is worse than raining cats and dogs?A: Hailing taxis!
Q: A plane crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived?A: Married couples!
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?A: A mon-key!
Q: How much did the shopkeeper sell his dead batteries for?A: Nothing, they were free of charge!
Q: What do you call a ghost’s true love?A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: Why was the belt arrested?A: Because it was holding up some pants!
Q: What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?A: You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish!
Q: What did the ghost call her Mum and Dad?A: Her transparents!
Q: What building in New York has the most stories?A: The public library!
Q: Why don’t you ever see giraffes in primary school?A: Because they’re all in high school!
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?A: Look away, I’m about to change!
Q: What happens if life gives you melons?A: You’re dyslexic!
Q: How do baby cats learn how to swim?A: The kitty pool!
Q: How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?A: They’re all girls, otherwise, they would be uncles!
Q: How do you keep a bull from charging?A: Take away its credit card!
Q: How many months have 28 days?A: ALl of them!
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?A: Act like a nut!
Q: What has three letters and starts with gas?A: A car!
Q: Where do pencils come from?A: Pennsylvania!
Q: Why do echidnas always win the game?A: Because they have the most points!
Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath?A: With experi-mints!
Q: Why did the farmer ride his horse into town?A: Because it was too heavy to carry!
Q: What gets wetter the more that it dries?A: A towel!
Q: Why was the student’s report card wet?A: It was below ‘C’ level!
Q: Why don’t elephants chew gum?A: They do, just not in public.
Q: What gets bigger the more you take away from it?A: A hole!
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?A: Because 7, 8, 9!
Q: Why did the melon jump into the river?A: Because it wanted to be a watermelon!
Q: What was the first animal in space?A: The cow that jumped over the moon!
Q: Why do tigers have stripes?A: So they don’t get spotted!
Q: Why was the broom late?A: It over-swept!
Q: Why do scuba divers fall backward into the water?A: Because if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat!
Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?A: It goes through a jarring experience.
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?A: An impasta!
Q: Which city does Paw Patrol like the most?A: New Yorkie.
Q: Why can’t a hand be 12 inches long?A: Because then it would be a foot!
Q: What’s green and can fly?A: Super Pickle!
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?A: Because his teacher told him it would be a piece of cake!
Q: What do you call a dog magician?A: A labracadabrador.
Q: How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying?A: You rocket!
Q: Why was the mushroom the life of the party?A: It was a fungi.
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?A: Because you can see right through them!
Q: What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?A: A stamp!
Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?A: Write on!
Q: What kind of award did the dentist receive?A: A little plaque.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with bad vision?A: A Do-you-think-he-sarus!
Q: What should you drink while singing nursery rhymes?A: Hot Cocomelon.
Q: Why was the math book sad?A: It had too many problems!
Q: What is a pony’s favorite juice?A: She really likes lemon-neigh’d.
Q: What did the plumber tell the singer?A: Nice pipes.
Q: What has lots of leaves but never actually grew?A: A book!
Q: What is brown and sticky?A: A stick!
Q: Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?A: Because he couldn’t see himself doing it.
Q: Why can’t you tell an egg a joke?A: It’ll crack up.
Q: Who keeps the ocean clean?A: The mer-maid.
Q: How do you talk to a giant?A: You use big words!
Q: What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon?A: “I Apollo-gize.”
Q: Where do vampires keep their money?A: The blood bank.
Q: What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?A: The thesaurus.
Q: Why are ghosts the worst liars?A: You can see right through them.
Q: What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?A: Do these genes make my butt look big?
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?A: They use honeycombs.
Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?A: They have two left feet.
Q: What do you call a funny mountain?A: Hill-arious.
Q: What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?A: Owwwww-ch!
Q: What did the nose tell the finger?A: Stop picking on me!
Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?A: An investigator.
Q: How do pickles enjoy a day out?A: They relish it.
Q: Do you want to hear a joke about paper?A: It’s tear-able!
Q: What do you call an attractive fruit?A: A fine apple!
Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation?A: Times Square!
Q: What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?A: Anyone can roast beef.
Q: What do Santa’s elves learn in school?A: The elf-abet.
Q: What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?A: A walkie talkie.
Q: Why did the orange lose the race?A: It ran out of juice.
Q: Why are robots never afraid?A: They have nerves of steel.
Q: How do you throw a party in outer space?A: You planet.
Q: Why did the cabbage win the race?A: Because it was a-head.
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?A: A bulldozer.
Q: What does a book do in the winter?A: Puts on a jacket.
Q: How does a hurricane see?A: With one eye.
Q: What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?A: Cowboom!
Q: How does a penguin build a house?A: Igloos it together.
Q: What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob?A: Use a door jam.
Q: Where do you learn about ice cream?A: Sundae school.
Q: Why didn’t the robot finish his breakfast?A: Because the orange juice told him to concentrate.
Q: What’s a sea monster’s favorite meal?A: Fish and ships.
Q: Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?A: They always hog the puck.
Q: What do you call a fibbing cat?A: A lion.
Q: Why do porcupines always win the game?A: They have the most points.
Q: What state has the most streets?A: Rhode Island.
Q: Where do elephants pack their clothes?A: In their trunks!
Q: What do you call an ant who fights crime?A: A vigilante!
Q: What do you call a deer with pink eye?A: A colorful eye-deer.
Q: How do you fit more pigs on your farm?A: Build a sty-scraper!
Q: Where do sheep go on vacation?A: The Baaa-hamas.
Q: What does every birthday end with?A: The letter Y.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?A: Because they have big fingers!
Q: Why did the pillow cross the road?A: It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?A: The same middle name!
Q: Why did the farmer jump on his potato plants?A: He wanted to grow mashed potatoes!
Q: What did the fish say when he bumped into a concrete wall?A: Dam!
Q: Why did the puppy do so well at school?A: Because he was the teacher’s pet!
Q: What do you call a piece of seaweed that’s fallen in the bin?A: Yaki nori!
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?A: A cloud!
Q: What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol?A: Silent night!
Do you have a favorite joke for kids that you want to share? Add it in the comments so we can add it to the list!
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