60 Smashing Pumpkin Jokes for Kids

Share a laugh with a friend!

Ready to give the kids pumpkin to laugh about? Then start with these smashing good pumpkin jokes for kids! They will be laughing all day long!

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As fall approaches, we are gearing up with some good laughs thanks to these pumpkin jokes for kids. They are really going to pumpkin up the volume of laughter around the dinner table with these super clean jokes perfect for kids and adults of all ages.

So if you are ready to suc-seed with laughter and get ahead of the carve this fall, check out our growing list of pumpkin jokes for kids. Don’t worry! These jokes are puree and simple and won’t leave you wanting to smash any pumpkins out of embarrassment because we have made sure they are family-friendly!

For even more pumpkin laughs, be sure to check out our pumpkin puns. And if you are ready to get in the spirit of fall and Halloween, try our funny fall jokes for kids.

Do your kids love jokes?

Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!

Grab your set now! There are over 50+ pages of jokes included! This is a digital download, so it is easy! Just download, print, and enjoy!

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Funny Pumpkin Jokes

1 pumpkin with yellow border
  • Q: Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes? To make them even more basic.
  • Q: Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
  • Q: What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? Good-pie, everyone.”
  • Q: How do you repair a broken jack o’ lantern? Use a pumpkin patch.
  • Q: What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? “Cut it out.”
  • Q: What do you call an athletic pumpkin? A jock o’ lantern.
  • Q: What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern? A plumpkin.
  • Q: What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
  • Q: What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? “Use apples, instead.”
  • Q: When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say? “I’m vine, thanks!”
  • Q: What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache.
  • Q: What kind of romance do pumpkins enjoy? A mushy romance.
  • Q: Why do pumpkins perform so poorly in school? Because they had all their brains scooped out.
  • Q: Where do pumpkins hold meetings? The gourdroom.
  • Q: Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
  • Q: What did one Pumpkin say to the other? “Happy Hollowing!”
  • Q: What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? “You look a little sick.”
  • Q: What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin? “Oh my gord!”
  • Q: What’s black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a pumpkin.
  • Q: A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern, “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?” The jack-o’-lantern replies, “I don’t have the guts.”
  • Q: What are gourds afraid of? Things that go pumpkin the night.
1 pumpkin with yellow border
  • Q: Where do pumpkins like to live? In the seedy part of town.
  • Q: What do adventurous pumpkins do for fun? Go bungee gourd jumping.
  • Q: What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
  • Q: What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach? A life-gourd.
  • Q: Why did everyone think the jack-o-lantern was evil? It had a wicked candle inside it.
  • Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
  • Q: Why was the gourd so gossip-y? To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.
  • Q: Why was Cinderella bad at football? Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
  • Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.
  • Q: How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.
  • Q: What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western? The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly.
  • Q: Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful? Because he’s empty-headed.
  • Q: What did the queasy pumpkin say? “I don’t feel so gourd.”
  • Q: Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart? A candle makes them bright.
  • Q: How did the jack-o’-lantern quit smoking? The pumpkin patch.
  • Q: What did the pumpkins say at happy hour? “Let’s get smashed.”
  • Q: What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
  • Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
  • Q: How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction? Apply the pumpkin patch.
  • Q: We got our seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil. It’s for autumnmobiles.
  • Q: Which English pop singer is most popular during the Thanksgiving holiday? Pumpkin Spice.
3 pumpkins with yellow border
  • Q: Why is trick or treating with identical twin witches so challenging? You can never tell which witch is which.
  • Q: What type of pants do ghosts wear? Boo jeans.
  • Q: Why don’t mummies go on vacations? They are too afraid to unwind.
  • Q: Which Halloween creature got the best grades in Math? Count Dracula.
  • Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
  • Q: What kind of music do mummies like best? Wrap music, duh.
  • Q: What rides do ghosts like best at the haunted carnival? The scary go-round and the roller ghost-er.
  • Q: Why don’t skeletons eat Halloween candy? They just don’t have the stomach for it.
  • Q: Which Halloween creature is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
  • Q: What do birds say on Halloween? “Trick or Tweet!”
  • Q: Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? They have no body to go with.
  • Q: How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music? On vine-yl.
  • Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre? Pulp fiction.
  • Q: How did the jack-o’-lantern win the science prize? A light went on in his head!
  • Q: What band do all pumpkins despise? The Smashing Pumpkins.
  • Q: What decorations did Michael Jackson put up on Halloween? Wacko Jacko Lanterns
  • Q: What do pumpkins call the time of year when they get hollowed out and turned into decorations? Hollow-ween
  • Q: What do you call a country bumpkin on Halloween? A country pumpkin
1 pumpkin with yellow border

Do you know some other pumpkin jokes for kids that make you laugh? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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You’ll need a program that supports PDFs. Adobe Acrobat is a great option. Open the program, click file, then print. Select your printer and the number of copies you want to print. Be sure you click double-sided if you want it to print on both sides. 

Can I Resell These?

You may not resell any printable that you find on our website or in our resource library. You may use them for class parties, at church, at home, or in the classroom. You may get these printed at an office supply store or copy center at your own expense.

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