Ready to lighten the mood with some funny bald jokes? We have just what you are looking for that will have you laughing in no time.
Hair loss is no joke, unless it’s when you are sharing these fun bald jokes with friends and family. Sure, baldness is no laughing matter, but if you think about it, laughter is the best medicine, and it is cheaper than a hair transplant!
So shine up your head and make it silky smooth, and soft and get ready to laugh with these funny jokes. For more laughter and fun be sure to check out our Awesome Bee Jokes and our Jokes About Firefighters.
Do your kids love jokes?
Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!
Grab your set now! There are over 50+ pages of jokes included! This is a digital download, so it is easy! Just download, print, and enjoy!
Best Bald Jokes
What is one of the major advantages of being a bald person?No matter what happens they can never be to blame for hair on the floor!
What did the man say when his brother was losing his hair?He said: “Well, I am not saying my brother is losing his hair, but the lice are really starting to picket about deforestation”.
What did my bald brother say when I gave him a comb as a gift?He said, “thanks”. I will never ever part with this comb.”
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mind.
Why was the bald guy upset when I asked him an innocent question?He said, “Asking a bald guy how far they go up while washing their faces is not polite.”
What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards?A receding hairline is what you call it!
Why were all the lice sad on the head of a bald man?They look like they are all homeless.
Why did the bald man leave the wig shop without wearing a wig?Because he had a toupee on his head!
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?Because when they take a batch, they get brainwashed!
Why do women trust bald men more than normal men?Because bald men have nothing to hide!
Why was my friend angry when he started getting bald?Because his hair didn’t fall out, it simply fell down!
What does the kind man who shaved off his hair as support for cancer patients say?He says he had a chemoflage.
What did I say to my bald brother, which made him very angry?I said, “Bro you are so bald, that I need to wear sunglasses else, I can go blind.”
What is the worst advice one can give to his bald friend?“No need for a transplant. Draw rabbits on you hair, they will look like hares from a distance.”
What did Bill say when his wife left I’m as he started losing his hair?He said, “I don’t care, it’s hair loss, not mine.”
What did the barber say to the bald person when he entered the salon?He said, “Hey, what are you doing hair?”
Why do bald men abstain from using any keys?Because they don’t have any locks!
What is the mantra that bald people live by?They strictly adhere to the motto of “Getting bald has nothing to do with losing hair, but it has a lot about gaining more head.”
What is the difference between a prince, a bald guy, and an ape?A prince is an heir apparent, an ape has hairy parents while a bald guy apparently has no hair!
Why it is so easy to guess what a bald guy is going to say?Because you can literally see what’s on their mind!
Why was the bald person happy even when he lost all his hair?Because after being bald for a long time the idea of hair started to grow on him!
Why does a bald man always wake up happy from bed?Because a man who has an extended forehead looks good!
What did the old man say to his grandchildren?He said, “Combing is the experience which life usually gives when you start turning bald!
When did I realize that I was turning bald?It was when my barber said, “Watch of the three hairs do you want me to trim?”
Do you you realize that yo are slowly turning bald?It is usual when you realize that you start using less shampoo and more toothpaste!
What did the intelligent man say when he saw that he was turning bald in patches?He said that as he was a brainiac, his brain needed more space to expand!
What did my sister tell me when I became bald?She said, “Jack you are so bald that even Bob, the builder can’t fix it for you.”
What did my friend say when I became completely bald?He said, “You have so much space in your heard that even the Air Force can land on you head.”
What did my bald friends say when I advised hime to have a transplant?He said that he would look silly with a kidney on his head!
What is the difference between a bald man and a baby?The baby will stop whining after awhile.
What did the bald man say when he looked in the mirror?He said it takes a real man to wear a toupee.
What do you call a bald man with an afro?Sir.
What’s the difference between a new husband and a bald man?After a year, the bald guy will stop looking for his comb.
Why is it good to have hair on your head?It helps you hang onto wigs.
What’s the difference between a bald man and a trampoline?You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
What is the fastest way to realize that you are going bald?It is when you start taking more and more time washing your face!
Why did Harry Potter become bald?Because he lost his Hedwig!
Which thing is a bald pirate captain most afraid of?He is most afraid of cap sizes!
What special day do bald people celebrate?They like to celebrate No-Hair Day!
How do you compare a bald man’s head to one of the greatest tourist places on earth?You say, “Your hair has so many valleys and creeks that it looks like the Grand Canyon.
Why was the bald guy very happy?As he was so completely bald, he was elected as the president of “The Hair Club for Men!
Why did I say to my friend who was going bald, which made hime mad with anger?I said, ” You will find Waldo faster than you can find your hairline!
What did the doctor do when the bald patient wanted something to keep his hair in?The doctor simply asked the nurse to get his patient a small paper bag!
What did the girl say to Bald Bill when they were engaged?She said, “God was generous to you. He gave you a lovely face and room for one more”
What did I say when Bald Bill boasted that true beauty is only skin deep?I said, “I guess that is why we all like to get hair”
How did the bald man joke about his own baldness?He laughed and said, “My hairline is so far back that not even one archeologist can find it”
What do you say to an annoying bald person?You simply say, “Do you know that hair is dead, so that means your head is basically a corpse”
What is the best way to irritate a guy with a receding hairline who also has a thick beard?Simply ask him, “Why is your hair cut upside down?
What do you say to an almost bald person who constantly disturbs you by asking for advice to avoid hair fall?You say, “Just get out of the way, and you can avoid it like that”.
What did my wife say when I was going bald?She said, “Your head is so shiny that I can use it as a mirror”
How do you define the biggest irony of the world?When a bald couple names their son Harry!
What do you get to call a barber who works on the hair of bald people?You call him an air stylist!
What do you call lice that lives in a bald man’s head?Homeless
Did you hear about the new flight company I’m starting exclusively for bald people?Receding Airlines
Why is a bald man like a snowman?Both are balls of white fluff.
What do you call two bald men fighting over a comb?A tug of war!
What do you call a bald man with no arms and no legs?A door knob.
What is the difference between a hair dresser and a barber?A hair dresser cuts your hair, while a barber cuts your neck!
What is the coolest way to roast a guy who is going bald?Simply say, “Hey, if you wear a turtleneck shirt you will most definitely look like a roll on deodorant”.
What do you say to a bald guy if he is always annoying you?You say, “I am going to need binoculars to look at your hair”
Why was the guy who was going bald angry?Because like his head, he had poor luck. He won a comb in his lottery!
Why do bald men have big heads?To hold up their hair.
What is a bald mans favorite color?Velcro.
What do you call a bald man in a tree with a brief case?Branch Manager!
Why did the bald man cross the road?Because he was stapled to the chicken.
What do you call a good looking bald man?A great hair day.
Why did the bald man cross the road?Because he didn’t have enough hair to go under it!
What do you call a bald man with half a head of hair?Groucho Marks
Why did the bald guy paint his house yellow?Because he didn’t want any green hair on his neighbors!
What’s the difference between a bald man and an airplane?A plane will occasionally fall out of the sky.
What’s the difference between a porcupine and a bad hair day?A porcupine is prickly all over.
How can you tell if a bald guy has been using your computer?There is white-out on the screen
How do you get a bald man to laugh on Monday?Tell him a joke on Friday.
Why do men go grey before they go bald?Because dye doesn’t work!
Why do men lose their hair?Because they want to.
Why did the barber win an award?Because he gave a good hair cut
What is the difference between a man and a human being?About fifty cents.
How much more can a man get from his wife than he already has?A divorce.
What s the difference between a bald man and a centipede?One is an insect with many legs, the other is a dead insect.
What do you call a bald woman?A widow.
How do you give a bald man a combover?With a blow-dryer.
What do you call a barber who cuts your hair while you sit in a chair?A hairdresser.
What do you call a bald man with an earring?A liar.
Why did the bald man cross the road?He was stapled to the chicken.
Did you hear about the new spray-on hair?It s not perfect but it lasts a few hours.
What is the best thing about being bald?No one can see when you re balding.
What is the difference between a prince, a bald headed man, a monkey and an orphan?The first is an heir apparent, the second has no apparent hair, the third has hairy parent and the last has nary a parent.
What would you call it when a bald man finally removes his ponytail?A hipsterectomy.
Did you hear about the bald man?yeah, he tattooed rabbits all over his head. From a distance they look like hares
What do you call a bald man with an orange peel on his head?A gulp.
What happened between a bald person and their hair?They had a falling out.
Why do bald men have holes in their pockets?So they can run their fingers through their hair.
What is the funniest thing you can say to a bald man?You are so bald that I can simply rub your head and start predicting futures!
Why was the guy who was going bald angry?Because like his head, he had poor luck. He won a comb in his lottery!
Do you have some other funny bald jokes? Don’t forget to share them in the comments so we can get a good laugh too!
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