125 Classic Car Jokes That Will Have You Cruising With Laughs

Ladies and gentlemen start your engines and get ready to laugh with these hysterical car jokes. These car jokes are sure to have your gears grinding and your wipers wiping away the tears from laughter.

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You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine, and what better way to laugh than with jokes. We are swapping out our auto tool kits for these car jokes, trading out the lug nuts for some classic puns, and getting in the fast lane to get carried away with fun and laughter. So buckle up for a good time with these classic car jokes that will have you rolling with laughter!

For more great jokes, be sure to check out our Pie Jokes and our Camp Jokes.

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Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!

Grab your set now! There are over 50+ pages of jokes included! This is a digital download, so it is easy! Just download, print, and enjoy!

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Best Car Jokes

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Q: What car did the successful sushi chef buy? A Rolls-Rice.
Q: How do you get four dragons into a car? Openithee doors!
Q: What kind of car does a cowboy drive? Audi!
Q: What’s cowboy’s least favourite car? A Cattle-lack!
Q: Where do crabs catch trains? King’s Crustacean!
Q: What did the spider do when he got a new car? Took it out for a spin!
Q: Did you hear about the car that was made out of sausages? It was a banger!

Q: What does a foot call when his car breaks down? A toe truck!
Q: What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini.
Q: What does Dora the Explorer drive to a birthday party? A ford Fiesta.
Q: What happened when they shut down the robot motorway? Everyone had to take the R2-Detour.
Q: Why did the robot sleep under car? He wanted to wake up oily!
Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tryannosaurus wrecks?
Q: What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
Q: What car does a snake drive? An ana-Honda
Q: What do you call a Spanish man who has lost his car? Carlos!
Q: What happened to the from who parked on the doublee yellow lines? Its car got toad!
Q: What did Mickey Mouse say when he crashed his car? Diney matter!
Q: Why did the traffic light say to the car? Hey! Don’t look, I’m about to change!
Q: What happened when the frog’s car broke down? He jump started it!
Q: What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
Two chip packets are walking down the road. A man in a car comes along and asks if they want a ride. “No thanks we’re Walkers”
Q: What should you do if Liverpool’s midfield steals your car? Call the Klopps!
Q: What snakes do you find on cars? Windscreen vipers!
Q: Why should you check your tires for punctures? In case there’s a fork in the road!
Q: What did the tornado say to the car? Fancy going for a spin!

Q: Why did the taxi driver lose his job? He kept driving his customers away!
Q: What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack!
Q: What do you do if you seen a space, man? Park in it, Dude!
Q: What happened when the frog’s car broke? It got toad away!
Q: When the musician got in a car accident, his guitar was destroyed? The accident was a Fender bender.
Q: Why did the spider buy a car? He wanted to go for a spin!
Q: Why couldn’t the car play football? It only had one boot!
Q: What do you call a car that’s tired? Exhausted!
Q: Why did the car join a gym? To get a better engine!
Q: How do cars stay cool during summer? They roll down their windows!
Q: What do you call a car that’s always sleeping? A car-nap-ter!
Q: Why did the car go to the beach? To get a new coat of wax!
Q: What do you call a car that tells jokes? A pun-tiac!
Q: What did the car say when it got a flat tire? Oh, tire-d!
Q: Why did the car go to the mechanic? It was feeling wheely bad!
Q: What do you call a car that’s rally good at singing? An au-to-tone!
Q: Why did the car cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken!
Q: What do you call a car that’s always in a hurry? A race-car!
Q: What do you call a car that can tell time? A car-ometer!
Q: What do you call a car that’s good at karate? A chop-per!

Q: Why did the car bring a blanket to the race track? So it could take a pit stop!
Q: What do you call a car that’s always on the phone? A tele-vroom-er!
Q: Why did the car eat a snack while driving? It was low on fuel!
Q: What do you call a car that’s afraid of water? A car-p!
Q: Why did the car go to the doctor? It had a case of road rage!
Q: What do you call a car that play guitar? An auto-tune!
Q: Why did the car go to the dentist? It had a cavity in its trunk!
Q: How do cars keep their hair in place? With a car-omb!
Q: What do you call a car that’s been stolen multiple times? A re-carn-ation!
Q: Why did the car put on a hat? To cover up its sun-roof!
Q: What do you call a car that’s really fast? A velo-car-raptor!
Q: Why did the car go to the gym? To work on its wheel-ness
Q: How does a car get through a difficult situation? It drives over it!
Q: What do you call a car that’s been modified to carry groceries? A cart-illac!
Q: Why did the car refuse to start? It needed a brake!
Q: Why did the car have a headache? Because it had too many pistons and needless!
Q: What do you call a car that’s been in a wreck? A smash-tang!
Q: Why did the car go to the bar? To get a few drinks in its gas tank!
Q: How do you know if a car is polite? It always uses its turn signal!
Q: What do you call a car that’s afraid of the dark? A head-light!

Q: Why did the car go to the cinema? To see “The Fast and the Furious”!
Q: How do you make a car happy? Fill up its tank!
Q: Why did the car go to the beach? To catch some waves!
Q: What do you call a car that’s really good at math? A calcula-car!
Q: What kind of cars do people in Norway drive? Fjords
Q: Why did the car break up with its girlfriend? She was always in its trunk!
Q: What’s the difference between a Fiat and a golf ball? You can drive a golf ball more than 200 yards.
Q: What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda!
Q: Who can drive all their customers away and still make money? Taxi drivers.
Q: What’s the best part of Audi’s customer service? They answer within four rings.
Q: Why are racecar drivers the best people to go to for dating advice? They’re trained to look for red flags.
Q: Why couldn’t the frog find where he parked his car? He’d been toad.
Q: What do you need to be able to drive in the outback? You need to show koala-fications.
Q: What do you call a VW bus at the top of a hill? A miracle.
Q: Why don’t cars work after you change their wheels? Because they are retired.
Kids, I bought the cat a new car. It’s a Cat-illac.
Q: Did you hear about the Yoga class for electric cars? No, that’s a thing? I guess. They just park in circle and say “ohm” the whole time.
Q: What is a car’s preferred mobile phone brand? No-kia
Q: What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I am about to change.

Q: Why did the washing machine schedule a test drive? Because he wanted to go for a spin.
Q: What’s a car’s favorite meal? Brake-fast.
Q: What should you double check when buying an electric car? That your driving license is current.
Q: How can you tell if a car is from Switzeland? It remains in neutral.
Q: What kind of car does Jesus Drive? Christler
Q: What did the computer say to the other person after a 16 hour car ride? Damn, that was a hard drive.
Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Q: What kind of cars do cooks drive? Chef-rolets.
Q: Why can’t motorcycle do push-ups? Because they’re always two-tired.
Q: What do you call a German electric car? Voltswagen
Q: Why did the electric car go to court? It was charged with battery.
Q: What types of snakes are found on cars? Windshield Vipers!
Q: How do you know a car is a good price? If it is a-Ford-able.
Q: What cars do snakes drive? An ana-honda.
Q: Why is Piggy such a bad driver? Because all she does is hog the road
Q: What do you get when you put a car and a pet together? Carpet.
Q: What does a Volkswagen run on? Beetle juice
Q: What do all french cars come with as standard? A spare wheel of cheese.
Q: Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at the S car go when rolled by.

Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.
Q: What kind of motor vehicle is in the Bible? Honda.. because the apostles were all in one accord.
Q: What’s the difference between a cow and a car? I don’t have a car.
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car!
Q: What do clowns fill their cars with? Laughing gas!
Q: What do cars eat? Carrots!
Q: What do you call a shrimp that gets run over by a car? Road Krill
Q: What do you call it when one finger steers your car? A thumb drive.
Q: Where do pickles go to buy a car? The dillership!
Q: What did the road crew have to do after the cheese crashed its car? Clean up de-brie.
Q: What is the sushi chef’s dream car? Rolls rice
Q: What sorts of cars do cooks drive? Culinary expert rolets.
Q: What kind of petrol does Vin use? Diesel.
Q: When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway.
Q: What snakes are found on cars? Windshield vipers

Do you have some favorite car jokes that we missed? Share them in the comments so we can laugh too!

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