Funny Bridge Jokes You’ll Love

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What do you call a shorter bridge? Abridged. Get it?! If you love bridge jokes, then you are going to love this list we have put together for you. It has some of the very best bridge jokes and bridge puns for an afternoon of laughter with friends and family.

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Jokes and puns are the perfect way to connect with others. Whether you are meeting them for the first time and need an icebreaker or just want to laugh, a good joke is a perfect option. These bridge jokes and bridge puns are sure to make you chuckle. Don’t worry, these jokes won’t leave you suspended without somewhere to run and hide because of a bad punchline! These are clean jokes that even grandma will enjoy!

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Orange background with a white and black bordered front and a brown wooden bridge that has an arch.

Jokes About Bridges

Orange border with white background and black font. With a gray bridge, with two towers, sweeping cables, and long at a side eye view.
  • Q: Have you heard that really convoluted metaphor about poorly constructed bridges? It’s hard to get across.
  • Q: What was the frog doing jumping off the longest suspension bridge? Kermitting to bungee jumping.
  • Q: Why are bridges so expensive?  It’s all overhead.
  • Q: Why are there no bridges named after Chuck Norris? Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
  • Q: Did you hear about the guy who was fishing from a railway bridge? He was trying to catch a train.
  • A friend of mine wants to cure her fear of trolls, but not quite yet. She will cross that bridge when she comes to it.
  • Someone I know jumped off a bridge in Cairo. He was in denial.
  • I once worked at a place where I had to use a pay-to-cross bridge 10 times a day. That took a toll.
  • I tried reading a book about a castle with a drawbridge up. But I couldn’t get into it.
  • I banged my head on a low bridge. Would have been ok if viaduct.
  • Q: What do you call a polite man who builds bridges? A civil engineer
  • Q: Why was the teenage fidgeting with the bridge on the beach, Bcz of pier pressure
  • An architect designed a bridge but he made a massive mistake. He couldn’t get over it.
  • Q: Who was hurt in the bridge collapse in Australia? The ones that were down under.
  • Have you seen the movie about the production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century? I can’t remember the name but it’s riveting.
  • I told my dad that I always felt a deep sense of foreboding when we drive on the bridge over the canal, He said, “That’s because the canal IS for boating.”
  • When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn’t get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
  • Watching his picture go like that must’ve been pretty demuralizing.
  • If I make a bridge shorter, Is it now abridged?
  • Q: What language do bridges speak? Spanish
  • Q: Why did the Mexican man throw his wife off the bridge? Tequila
  • How do the monsters that hide beneath bridges get to work?… …They ride the Troll-ey.
  • Did you guys hear about the stickup on the bridge? Some kid threw it up there.
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Picture of the golden gate bridge in a gold color in a circle with the sun shining and the clouds showing as the bride stands tall over water
  • Q: There were 3 Mexicans. They crossed a bridge and there were only 2, why? Because there was no Tres-passing
  • I never go on truss bridges. They are not trusstable.
  • Q: How do you ask the bridge that crosses New York’s Hudson River between Tarrytown and Nyack if it speaks German? Tappan Zee Deutsche?
  • I read a new book on bridge design. It was written by Archie Tek
  • Love watching rivers running under bridges on the internet. Was watching a live stream earlier.
  • Q: How do you get two whales in a car? Down the M4 then over the Severn Bridge.
  • A friend wants to cure his fear of trolls, but not quite yet. He’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.
  • A friend of mine bought some London Bridge trousers. They keep falling down.
  • “Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a bridge”. “What’s come over you…?” “Three cars, a van and a motorbike…”
  • 43.6 percent of all slam contracts fail. 62.7 percent of all bridge players are women. 97.8 percent of all bridge statistics, including these, are made up
  • Bill: My cardiologist says I can’t play bridge. Tom: Why not? Do you have some kind of heart problem? Bill: No. He’s just played with me enough to know I’m hopeless.
  • Three construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
  • Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.
  • He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, “That was touching. I didn’t know you had it in you.” The first guy responds, “Well, I guess it was the thing to do – after all, I was married to her for 40 years.”
  • Why did the bridge go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little span-gy!
  • Why did the bridge keep going back to the river? Because it loved the flow!
  • Why did the bridge close its eyes? Because it was afraid of heights!
  • What do you call a bridge that likes to sing? A “tune-nel”
  • Why did the bridge break up with the river? It said it needed more space!
  • Why did the bridge go to the gym? To get in shape
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  • What do you call a bridge that can’t make up its mind? A “fence-sitter.”
  • How do you fix a broken bridge? With bridge-ment!
  • Why was the bridge so tired? Because it had too many arches!
  • Why did the bridge take a nap? Because it was feeling a little over-tired!
  • Why did the bridge wear a scarf? To keep from getting a cold!
  • What do you call a bridge that’s always late? “tardy-arch”
  • Why did the bridge go to the party? To bridge the Gap.
  • Why was the bridge feeling low? Because it was down in the dumps!
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What is your favorite bridge joke? Share it in the comments so we can add it to the list!

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