145 Best Racing Jokes That Zoom With Laughter

Speed demons, get ready to vroom vroom with these fun and exciting racing jokes while you are stuck in the school zone going 15 mph. Find your favorite racing joke to laugh out loud with excitement!

featured image with green background and white text that says “racing jokes”

Race fans welcome to the NASCAR of humor, the Formula 1 of giggles, and the drag race of belly laughs. That’s right we are talking about racing jokes! Strap in and get ready for a wild ride because we are crashing into laughter.

Ready to get your wheels spinning with laughter? This laughter pit spot will have your turbo boosters going with humor. You will zoom from zero to 100 on the laugh-o-meter.

So, let’s pump the brakes for a minute on rushing through life and enjoy a good joke or two. Hold on to your helmets buckle your seat belts and hit the gas on humor with these racing jokes.

Want another pit stop? Be sure to check out our Guess What Jokes and our Car Jokes.

Do your kids love jokes?

Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!

Grab your set now! There are over 50+ pages of jokes included! This is a digital download, so it is easy! Just download, print, and enjoy!

green background and white text that says “racing jokes”

Best Racing Jokes

red car with green border and racing car jokes

Q: What milk did Michael Schumacher feed his children? Formula One.
“ It is easy to tell when NASCAR fans watch Formula 1 events. They tap you on the shoulder and ask, “Are we watching the qualifying?”
“I tried horse racing once, but I fell at the first fence. I might have done better if I had a horse.”
Q: Why do tomatoes never enter marathons? They’re always playing ketchup.
Q: What is a race car’s favorite food? Fast food
Q: What song do racehorses like to listen to? Watch me whip…watch me neigh, neigh.
Q: Why did the formula one car go to church? Because he wanted to find his way to repentance!
Q: Why was the runner in the marathon stopped and taken to jail?
He was resisting a rest.

Q: Did you hear about the Racer who wore two jacket when he painted his house? The instructions on the can said “ Put on two coats.”
Q: What do a bad computer and a bad racing team have in common? Drivers that frequently crash
Q: What did the ace car say to the letter R? Come and join me
Q: What are the names of the world’s fastest runners ever? Don’t be surprised they are both from the same family. They are Mr. Adam and his wife Eve. They were the first in the human race.
Q: What did the racecar driver say to the tires? I can’t handle the pressure!
Q: How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start with a large fortune.
Q: How do racecar drivers know when it’s time to retire? When they start going in circles
Q: Where did the Helsinki Marathon end? At the Finnish line.
Q: How do you know that someone is a cyclist? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
Q: What do you call a horse that’s world traveler? A globe-trotter!
Q: Why do Formula one drivers stay healthy? Because they breakfast.
Q: What did the race car say when it passed the finish line? Vroom, I won!
“My annoying cousin keeps bragging about sleeping in a racecar bed. Jokes on him. I sleep in a real car.”
Q: If Robert Pressley, John Andretti and Geoff Bodine were in a boat and the Boat Sinks, Who Would be saved? Half the cars in Sundays Race.
Q: What do you get when you run in front of a car? Tired
Q: How do you make a racing snail faster? You can try taking its shell off but it will only make it more sluggish.
“I was challenged to a race by the same British-made car I was driving. It was a Jag war.”

green border and an image of a kid riding yellow car saying racing jokes

Q: Why should they replace batons with clocks in relay races? It would be a great way to pass the time.
Q: A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?” The vet replies: “Of course, you will, and you’ll probably win!”
Q: What did the race car driver say when it started to rain? I better get my wipers, we are about to get lap 2!
Q: Why is the internet like a motor racing crash? There are spoilers everywhere.
Q: What did Jack say to the car? Can I give you a lift?
Q: What do you call a hot dog that won a race? A wiener.
Q: What is it called when a knife joins a track team? Blade Runner.
Q: How did the Racer die ice fishing? She was run over by the Zamboni machine
Q: Did you hear about the recent race to send a cow to space? The steaks will be higher than ever.
Q: Why did the barrel racer ride on a tricycle? Because she wanted to do circles faster!
“A relay runner tried a new career as a baseball player. It didn’t last long, as he kept passing the bat on.”
Q: How do you make a million dollars dirt racing? Start with 2 million!
Q: What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!
Q: How come there are no races at the zoo? There are too many cheetahs.
Q: What is a knight’s favorite racing game? Need for Steed.
“As soon as the vehicle rolled into the pitstop, the jack said, “Can I give you a lift?”
The inscription on the grave of the Formula 1 driver: “J. Johnson, the famous race car driver. Born and died from a hole in the rubber.”
Her: What do you do? He: I race cars. Her: Do you win many races? He: No, the cars are much faster.
Q: What did the racehorse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the finish line? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!

in post image with white background, green border, text of racing jokes and an image of a 2 checkered flags

Q: Which side of a racehorse has more hair? The outside.
Q: What’s the difference between Nascar and F1? The types of drinks served.
Q: What did the racecar driver say when he won the race? A: I’m wheelie happy!
“On the Formula-1 track, our racer showed the seventeenth time, behind the winner by only a day.”
Q: Why did the F1 Racer get electrocuted after finishing 1 lap? Because he completed the circuit.
Q: How do drivers eat healthily? They take the carb-orator off.
Q: Why are road racing bikes so expensive? If they were cheap, cyclists wouldn’t have something to hold over pedestrians.
Q: What trophy do octopuses win as the grand prize in the cephalopod racing tournament? The Suction Cup
Q: What’s the difference between a presidential election and a NASCAR race? In NASCAR they wear their sponsors on their shirts.
Q: Why did the owner name his racehorse ‘Bad News’? Because bad news travels fast.
Q: What do you call a racecar driver with a bad memory? A forgetful Formula One driver.
“Elon Musk launched the falcon heavy hoping to start a space race… Of course he wants a space race, he’s the only one with a car up there.”
Q: What do most men and the average Formula 1 pit stop have in common? They both last about three seconds.
Q: What would you call Yoda’s business if he had one? A Toyoda dealership
Q: Why was the racehorse feeling so stressed? He was saddled with responsibility.
Q: What do you get when you cross a racecar driver and a comedian? Someone who drives laps around the competition!
“R stands for Racing. That’s exactly what I thought before shifting the gear on my car to R at 120 mph.”
“Racecar backwards is reverse.”
Q: Why pigs such bad drivers? Because they hog the road!
Q: Why don’t pencils win races? Because they’re stationary.

green border, white background and an image of a kid, trophy and 2 flags saying racing jokes

Q: When do vampires like watching a horse race? When it is neck to neck.
Q: Why did the racecar driver refuse to get a flu shot? He didn’t want to slow down his reflexes!
Q: Why did the zombie come last in the NASCAR race? He left his foot on the brakes.
Q: How do you become a Millionaire in racing? Start as a Billionaire.
Q: Why do Matthew McConaughey fans make terrible NASCAR drivers? Because they go al-right, al-right, al-right.
Q: Why do racecars make terrible pets? They always have a lead foot!
Q: What’s the difference between praying in church and at the track? At the track you really mean it!
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite racing game? Need for Bleed.
The journalist asks the winning driver how he managed to bypass such experienced and famous rivals. The driver answered and said, “Yes, just the brakes failed.”
Q: Why the F1 driver doesn’t get along with his crew? He has thrust issues.
Q: What do tornados say to race cars? Let us go for a spin.
In the next season, the Formula-1 competition will be attended by Russian racers. Their car was created based on the T-tank
– Western competitors in panic. The Russian format travels slowly, but it fires quickly.
Q: What smells like bacon and goes 200mph? Niki Lauda’s ear.
Q: Have you heard the one about the runaway racehorse? It’s a terrible tale of WHOA.
Q: What did the racecar driver say to the speed bump? Nice try, but I’m not slowing down!
Q: What do parents give their baby if they want them to become a future race car driver? Formula One.
Q: Why are Nascar tracks oval? The fans have trouble keeping up with more complicated shapes.
Q: What is the longest-running race? The human race!
A sports commentator interviews one skier, who has just retired from the race. Commentator – You certainly did not win, but tell me, did you like the race itself? Skier – I liked the moonshine, so we didn’t win.
Q: What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!

green border, white background and an image of green car saying racing jokes

Q: Why does it take so long for election results? It’s a race between two men in their seventies.
Q: What is one of the hardest times to win a horse race? 12:31, because it is 29 to 1.
Q: Why did the racecar driver paint his car with flames? So it would go faster!
Q: What did the racecar driver say to his navigator? A: “Let’s take this corner on two wheels!”
Q: Why did the bicycle not enter the car race? It was too tired.
“My racehorse’s name is Mayo. Sometimes, Mayo neighs.”
“I dont really like watching f1 racing anymore because I find f5 to be more refreshing.”
Q: How did the barber come first in the race? He took a shortcut
Q: How did a barber win the race? It was quite simple, he knew a shortcut through your hair.
Q: Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R, and is related to a race? NASCAR.
Q: Why do motorsport drivers have expert relationship advice? They are trained to look for red flags.
Q: Why don’t turtles race? Because they are way too slow!
Q: What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits? Speedos!
Q: What is a cat’s favorite racing game? Grand Purrismo.
Q: Why did the racecar driver get a ticket? Because he was driving too fast at a snail’s pace!
“Racing game chair for sale! Complete with skid marks!”
“Rules of drag races are pretty straightforward to understand.”
Q: Why do electric cars finish the race early? Because they are on a short circuit.
Q: What do you call a racecar driver who refuses to use the brakes? A: Unemployed.
What do we want? Race car noises. When do we want them? Neoooooooooooooooooooooow.
Q: Which part of the race ruins the movie? Spoiler

green border, white background with an image of formula 1 car and kid saying racing car jokes

Guy 1: I think it’s great that fast food companies are sponsoring big racing circuits now, but you have to admit: The Nurburgerkingring is a bit of a mouthful. Guy 2: I think that’s the point.
Q: It’s not called driving with a mask on. It’s Mask Car Racing
Q: What do you call it when you lose a foot race? Defeet
Q: What happens when two silk worms are in a race? It ends in a tie.
Q: Why do Swiss drivers have the least number of Formula 1 victories? A: Because they are always in neutral.
Q: What do you call it when two photographic journalists from Helsinki are racing to get a picture of the next top news story? A photo Finnish.
Q: Why did the fifth captain drop out of the sailing race? He had a sense of four boating.
Q: Why did the owner name his vehicle ‘Bad News’? Because bad news travels fast.
Q: Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race? Because he expecto’d Petronas.
Q: Why are snail speedsters painted with a big ‘S’ on the hood? Because fans get to shout, “Look at that S-car go!”
Q: Why did the racecar driver bring his car to the doctor? It had a bad case of exhaust-ion.
Q: Why did the car get disqualified from the neighborhood drag race? No spoilers!
Q: Why should they replace batons with clocks in relay races? It would be a great way to pass the time.
Q: Which race would you exterminate if you could? 800m. It‘s too long to be considered a sprint and not long enough to really be long-distance.
Q: Why did the mustard lose the race between sauces? Because it couldn’t ketchup.
Q: What punctuation mark would most likely win a race? That shouldn’t beat you. The answer is the “dash,” of course!
Q: Why do DJs make terrible drivers? A: They keep changing tracks.
“Chuck Norris and Time raced twenty years ago. The result is inconclusive because Time is still running till today…”
Q: What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
Q: What do the motorsport drivers say during arguments? “Mph.”

green border, white background and an image of red car saying racing jokes

Q: How do racecar drivers stay cool during a race? They open the windows!
“A huge crimewave hit a city during their annual marathon. Authorities can’t definitively speak to the cause, although they know it’s race-related.”
Q: Did you hear about the bike race that goes all the way across Norway and Sweden? It ends at the Finnish line.
“A beautiful girl asked me, ‘What do you do?’ I replied, ‘I race motorcycles.’ She asked further, ‘Do you usually win many races?’ I said, ‘No, the bikes are much faster than I am.’‬”
Q: Why did the chicken cross the racetrack? To get to the other slide.
“Motorsport drivers do not eat before a race, because they do not get Indy-gestion.”
“My wife and kids are leaving me because of my obsession with Formula 1. And it’s lights out, and away they go!”
“A relay runner tried a new career as a baseball player. It didn’t last long, as he kept passing the bat on.”
Q: Did you hear about the recent race to send a cow to space? The steaks will be higher than ever.
Q: Why are there no snowmen racing in F1? Because they never make it through the warm-up.
Q: Why should Microsoft, Intel, and Nvidia get into the motorsport business? They already have the best drivers.
Q: Why did the racecar driver go to the bank? To get his race winnings deposited!
Q: What sort of racehorses come out after dark? Night-mares.
Q: What reason did the F1 drivers give for stopping? Because Max has already won, so Verstappen.
“In a tomato race, one tomato driver said to his competitor, ketch-up!”
“ I keep trying to watch racing on my computer, but every time I press the F1 key, it just opens a help window.”
“Who won the 1975 F1 World Championship?” “Lauda.”
“WHO WON THE 1975 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP?!”
Q: What did the racecar driver do when he saw a fork on the track? He took it – because he was in a hast-y!

yellow and purple car in green border, white background saying racing car jokes

Do you have even more fun racing jokes that you love? Share them in the comments!

Love Jokes? Laugh with These!

Don’t forget to subscribe to our email list so that you know when we add more great jokes to the site that will leave you laughing for hours!

How Do I Access My Joke Cards?

Fill in the form above. You will receive an email in your inbox. If you don’t see it check your spam folder! You will then click to confirm your subscription. Once confirmed, you will be taken to Airtable (a different website) where all our free printables will be waiting for you! It is free to sign up for Air Table!

How Do I Print A PDF?

You’ll need a program that supports PDFs. Adobe Acrobat is a great option. Open the program, click file, then print. Select your printer and the number of copies you want to print. Be sure you click double-sided if you want it to print on both sides.

Can I Resell These?

You may not resell any printable that you find on our website or in our resource library. You may use them for class parties, at church, at home, or in the classroom. You may get these printed at an office supply store or copy center at your own expense.