165 Best Crab Jokes That Are Crab-Tastic

Do you feel that gentle tickle at your feet as you stroll along the sandy shores nestled beneath the golden grains and peeking out from shells and rocks, our crustaceous comedians are making their sideways entrance! Leading this parade of puns with their iconic walk and snapping claws? You guessed it – the ever-quirky, always entertaining, crabs! If there’s a marine mascot that deserves applause (and maybe a bit of melted butter), it’s our delightful crab. If you love crabs as much as we do, you are going to love these crab jokes.

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Some think crabs are all about the serious business of scuttling and scavenging because of their hard shell, but this is a perfect example of how appearances can be quite deceiving! Dive a little deeper, and you’ll discover a treasure trove of humor that only these clawed jesters of the deep can offer. It’s as if each wave brings with it a fresh bout of crabby comedy, ready to be unearthed and chuckled at.

So, brace yourselves, fellow voyagers of humor! Slip on those beach sandals, prep your best sea-shanty singing voice, and get ready to embark on a tidal wave of hilarity. Because today, we’re not just dipping our toes into the vast ocean of jokes – we’re diving deep into the vibrant world of crab jokes! Join us as we uncover the under-the-sea giggles and crustaceous chuckles! You won’t be disappointed.

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Best Crab Jokes

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Q: What do you call a frugal crab? A penny pincher.
Q: Why are crabs so good at keeping secrets? Because they can clam up.
Q: What did the crab say to his son? “Have a crab-u-lous day at school!”
Q: What does a crab say when he goes to the rodeo? “Yee-Claw!”
Q: How do you know if a crab is in a bad mood? It snaps at everything!
Q: What do you call a crab that’s a great dancer? A disco crustacean!
Q: How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink? It starts to walk in a straight line.

Q: Why was the crab always getting into trouble? It had a crabby-tude!
Q: Why do crabs never give waitresses a tip? Because they’re shellfish!
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite workout? The crab walk, of course!
Q: What do you call a crab who is afraid of small spaces? Claw-strophobic!
Q: Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains? King’s Crustacean!
Q: What do you call a crab that’s great at cleaning? A tidy-pod!
Q: Why did the crab go to jail? For pinching too many things!
Q: What did the prawn say to the Crab steering the ship? Ay, ay, Crabtain!
Q: Why do crabs do poorly in school? They have a limited vocrabulary.
Q: Why did the crab become a boxer? It had a powerful punch!
Q: Why did the crab buy his girlfriend flowers? Just beclaws he loved her.
Q: Why do crabs like to cook? Because they’re experts at shell-fish cuisine!
Q: What do crabs do on their birthday? They shellabrate!

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Q: What does the crab say to her best friend? “I really think that you’re clawsome!”
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite type of movie? Anything in the shell-ockbuster category!
Q: What did the wandering Crab say when it finally made its way back to the ocean? Long time no sea!
Q: What do you call a crab that’s good at baseball? A pinch hitter.
Q: How do crabs communicate? Through shell phones!
Q: How does a crab answer the phone? Shello!
Q: What do you call a crab superhero? Captain Claw!
Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym? He pulled a mussel.
Q: What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp? “You have to abide by the claw.”
Q: Why did the crab become a baker? It loved to make shell-bread!
Q: What does the crab president call his trusted advisors? His Crabinet.
Q: Which chemical element accounts for the largest part in the body of crabs? Crabon.
Q: Why don’t crabs ever fight? They prefer to just crab-ify things!
I’m just crabbing, don’t know what else to say!
Q: How do crabs stay in shape? By doing shell-ates!
Q: What do crabs wear to the beach? Crab-kinis!
Q: How do crabs organize their finances? They use crab-ccountants!
Q: What do you call a crab that tells jokes? A stand-up crustacean!
Q: What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop? A cup of crab-uccino!
Q: Why did the Crab decide to follow the Keto diet? Crabohydrates made it bloat

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Q: Where do crabs save all of their money? In a sand bank.
Q: What do crabs serve at their parties? Pinch-hitters!
Q: Why are crabs so good at baseball? They’re great pinch hitters!
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite type of movie? A drama with a pinch of romance
Q: How do crabs make phone calls? With shell phones!
Q: What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived? Leonardo da Pinci.
Q: What do you call a crab that’s a great cook? A master-chef-sheller!
Q: What did the crab say when it saw the mermaid? Long time, no sea!
I’m so thirsty. Please, crab me a glass of water.
Q: What does a hermit crab call its home? Michelle!
Q: Why did the hermit crab move into a new shell? Because it wanted a change of address!
Q: Grandpa crab is celebrating his 100th birthday today. What does everyone call grandpa crab? The Japanese spider crab.
Q: What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear? A Shell-met!
I shrimply don’t like crabs, they pinch too hard.
Q: How did the crab get his child to say the truth? He told her, “the truth shell set you free!”
Q: What is the best job for a crab? A crab driver!
Q: Why didn’t the crab and lobster share their food with the octopus? Because they are shellfish!
Q: How do crabs evade taxes? They set up shell corporations.
The crab is one shell of an animal.
Q: What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job? A side hustle.

I asked the waiter, “Do you serve crabs here?” He said, “Take a seat. We serve everybody.
Q: What party game do crabs like to play? Salmon Says.
Q: How does a crab feel when it eats too much? Clawful!
Q: Why did the hermit crab start a band? It wanted to be a shell-ebrity!
Q: How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food? Just a pinch
Q: What do you call a crab that throws things? A lobster.
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Crab. Crab who? Crab me a snack, please!
Q: What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A Crab!
Crabs are bad at learning a new language because they never care about the vo-crab-ulary!
Q: Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport? The Bustacean.
Q: How do you know if a hermit crab is feeling happy? It comes out of its shell more often!
Customer, holding a crab under his arm: “Waiter, waiter, do you make crab cakes?” Waiter: “Yes, we sure do.” Customer: “Good, because it’s his birthday.”
Q: Why did the musical crab move to New York City? It wanted to star in the crabaret.
Q: What do you call a pit stop that sells both pizza and crab? A crust station.
Q: Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level!
Q: Why did the crab blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Q: How do you know if a crab is pregnant? Ask a lobstetrician.
Q: What kind of protective headgear does a hermit crab wear? A shell-met.
I used to look for crabs at my local beach every day, until one day I pulled a mussel!
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite part about pizza? That crust taste, son!

Don’t bother me today, I’m feeling a little bit crabby!
Q: What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home? A Kermit crab.
I used to look for shellfish at my local beach every day, until one day I pulled a mussel!
A good crab joke is hard to crack!
Q: Where do shellfish go to borrow money? To a prawn broker!
Q: Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Seek and you shell find!
Q: Why was the hermit crab embarrassed? Because of the seaweed!
The lobster is one shell of an animal!
Q: What is a crab’s favorite fruit? Crab apples!
Q: What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other? Help me think of an Instagram crabtion!
Q: What did the crab say to the protesters on the street? “Let’s all clam down, shell we?”
We need to abide by the claw as good citizens”, said the crab police officer when it pulled over a speeding shrimp.
Q: Why is the sand so quiet? Because the waves keeping going “Ssshhhhhhh!”
Q: What does the crab say to her best friend? I think you’re clawsome
Crabs always add a pinch of salt to their meals!
Q: What does the crab say when she’s disagreeing with the lobster? I don’t quite sea it that way!
I’m subs-crab-ing to your newsletter.
A great bit of advice from a hermit crab: “It’s ok to come out of your shell and think outside the box!”
Q: What do you call a crab that likes to bowl? A bowl of chowder!

I’d give you my best one liners here, but I’m too shellfish!
Q: Why was the crustacean unhappy? Because his mum was being really crabby!
Q: How do crabs get around on land? They use the sidewalk.
Q: Why did the crab cross the playground? To get to the sandbox.
Q: Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs? Santa Claws.
I pulled a muscle today, I stayed clam!
Q: Where do crabs sleep? In water beds!
Please crab me a glass of water!
Q: Why did the crab get bad grades? Because it was below C level!
Q: Did you hear the crab president’s speech? It was really crabtivating.
Q: Where do crabs sleep? On the sea bed.
Q: Have you seen the crab that won the dance competition? He is always fishing for compliments.
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan awful headache after reading all these crab puns!
The crab is telling jokes, but nobody laughs because they are all crabby jokes!”.
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite type of joke? A pun-tastic one!
Q: What would a crab do with an iPhone? Take lots of shellfies!
Q: How do crabs leave the hospital? On crotches!
Life just seems to be two steps sideways then one step back!
Q: How does a crab go when it’s right? Snap!
Q: Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide!

Q: Where do crabs sleep? In water beds!
Q: How could the crab afford to buy a new house? He prawned everything!
Q: What lives in the ocean, is grumpy, and hates its neighbors? A hermit crab!
Q: What vitamin does a crab take every morning? Vitamin Sea
Q: What does a lobster say when he’s confused? Can you please be more pacific?!
Q: How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served for dinner? They were really steamed.
Q: What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday? Crab cake.
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you waiting for? Let’s go crabbing!
There’s an underwater version of ‘Paw Patrol’ starring crabs, it’s called ‘Claw Patrol’!
Q: Why don’t crabs like basketball? Because they are afraid of the net!
Q: How do crabs call their friends? On a shell phone!
It’s ironic how my aunt died given that her zodiac sign is cancer. She was killed by a giant crab.
Q: What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sofishticated.
Q: Does any individual have a solitary crab called Leonardo da Pinchi? No, but that would be a clever name for a solitary crab.
Q: What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty? It-piers we have a problem!
The doctor pres-crab-ed medication.
Q: How do you recognize a drunk crab? When a crab starts stepping straight.
Q: What did one fish say to the other when they saw the chef crab a crab? “Oh, buddy — he’s in hot water now.”
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite song? “Don’t Worry; Be Crabby.”
Q: Why did the crab get fired? Because he was not moving the company forward.

Q: Yesterday I had a battle with a crab. What happened? When I punched the crab, he fled.
Q: Why did the ocean roar? Wouldn’t you if there were crabs underneath you?
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Crab. Crab who? Crab me a snack please!
Q: Why are the Jedi against dissolving crustaceans in acid? Only a Sith deals in crab solutes.
Q: Why don’t healthy dyslexic people eat bread? Too many crabs.
Knock Knock!! Who’s there? Water. Water, who? Water you waiting for?! Let’s go crabbing!
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite type of music? Claw-ssical!
Q: What did the crab say to the sandcastle? You’re looking quite sandy today!
Q: What do you call a crab who loves music festivals? A rock lobster!
Q: What do you call a crab who’s a master chef? A gourmet crab!
She learned how to pass a poly-crab-h.
Q: Why did the crab bring a magnifying glass to the beach? To make the sand look bigger!
Have a crab-u-lous day!
Q: How do crabs say hello to each other? They give a friendly claw-p!
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite place to go on vacation? The Crab-ibbean!
We’ve reached the maximum crab-acity.
Q: How do crabs stay in shape for beach season? They do lots of crab-ups!
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite fruit? Crab-berries!
Q: How do crabs keep their hair looking great in the ocean? With a lot of sea-spray!
Q: What do you call a crab who’s a famous actor? A crab-tivating star!

A crab’s favorite luxury brand is Dolce & Crab-bana.
You should never make friends with crabs because they’re all so crabby!
Q: What’s a crab’s favorite book to read at bedtime? The Little Crabmaid!

Do you have more favorite crab jokes that we forgot? Share them in the comments below!

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