Ready to laugh as hard as you can? Well, pull your-elf together and get ready to share the very best elf jokes for kids with your friends and family. You are sure to find these ear-resistible.
In our house, we love jokes. Some say that we are pretty funny, and these elf jokes for kids might take the cake. In fact, my kids say that they may get their 15 minutes of elf fame with these. They love how funny they are, and I love that the whole family can enjoy them together because they are kid-friendly and appropriate for everyone. So, if the pointy shoe fits, wear it as you enjoy these elf jokes together.
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Elf Jokes For Kids
Q: How did the teacher tell the elves to line up before break time at school?A: In elf-abet-ical order!
Q: What is an elf’s favorite filmmaker?A: Elfred Hitchcock.
Q: What did one elf say to the other who wouldn’t hand over the wood-carving tool?A: “Don’t be elfish.”
Q: How did the elf get straight A’s at school?A: By doing his gnome-work every day!
Q: What does Santa call the elf police?A: The Po Po Po.
Q: What does an elf farmer call his cow?A: An Eskimoo.
Q: How is Santa able to get his personal Christmas shopping done so quickly?A: He gets it right off the elf.
Q: What kind of motorcycle do elves ride to work?A: A Holly Davidson!
Q: What do you call an Irish elf?A: Dec O’ration
Q: Why doesn’t the lazy elf go to the gym?A: It takes a lot of elf-ort!
Q: What will Tesla build this Christmas to help Santa deliver presents?A: An elf driving car.
Q: How does Santa know if you’re naughty or nice?A: The elves fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la you around!
Q: How many elves does a german Santa have?A: Elf.
Q: Why do rich elves donate to charities?A: They like to share the welf!
Q: What do you call a plastic elf?A: Poly-mer
Q: What other kind of money do elves use?A: Cold cash!
Q: How do you enslave a house elf?A: By doing its laundry.
Q: Who is the elves’ favorite Christmas tree singer?A: Spruce Springsteen!
Q: Why did Santa have to close his toy factory?A: Elf and safety!
Q: What climbs trees, buries nuts & makes presents?A: An elf who thinks he’s a squirrel!
Q: What do you call a selfish elf?A: Myself
Q: Why didn’t the elves buy Santa a gift?A: Because they were all out of DOE!
Q: What’s the Jewish version of Elf on a Shelf?A: Mensch on a bench
Q: What do you get if you cross one of Santa’s elves with a duck?A: A Christmas quacker!
Q: What does a diabetic elf need?A: Tinselin
Q: Why did the elf silence his phone?A: He was bored of the rings!
Q: Who sings “Blue Christmas” and makes toy guitars?A: Elfis!
Q: Why doesn’t Father Christmas eat junk food?A: Because it’s bad for his elf!
Q: Why do none of the elves’ names begin with ‘S’?A: Because that would be selfish.
Q: What did the elf say to the pig?A: Don’t hog the presents!
Q: How do elves communicate with one another?A: They use their elf phones.
Q: Why aren’t elves fat?A: They are elfy eaters!
Q: What’s the best thing about working for Santa Claus?A: Universal elf care.
What is an elf’s favorite positive affirmation?A: “I believe in my elf.”
Q: What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?A: Santa would never free an elf.
Q: Why shouldn’t you feed elves shellfish?A: It makes them crabby!
Q: Who lives at the North Pole, and makes toys, and rides in a pumpkin?A: Cinder-elf-a!
Q: What did the elf say after he spilled his soup?A: Hey everyone! Dinner is on me!
Q: What do you get when you mix an elf and a Scientologist?A: Elrond Hubbard!
Q: What do elves put on their toast?A: Jingle Jam
Q: What kind of jokes would a depressed elf tell?A: Elf-deprecating.
Q: Why did the elf want a wombat for Christmas?A: To play wom, silly!
Q: At Santa’s workshop, there are no Christmas bonuses. Why not?A: Because they’re all elf-employed.
Q: Where do all the elves want to play on their baseball team?A: Shortstop!
Q: What did the elf say after an orc stole his Legos?A: I’m Legolas.
Q: What happens to elves who misbehave?A: They get the sack.
Q: What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?A: Anything you want. He can’t hear you.
Q: What is an elf’s favorite band?A: The Pixies.
Q: What would you call Dobby, the house elf, if he were a really good speaker?A: Dolby.
Q: Why was Santa forced to shut his grotto?A: He was being investigated by the Elf and Safety Executive!
Q: Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital?A: He has private elf care.
Q: Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in the hospital?A: Because he has private elf care!
Q: What would upset a normal person but not an elf?A: Coming up short.
Q: What do you say to an elf that needs to hurry up?A: Get a jingle on!
Q: What do socialist elves support?A: Redistribution of welf.
Q: How did Santa’s helper boost his low elf-esteem?A: He read an elf-help book!
Q: Where do the elves and reindeer go to get hot chocolate?A: Star-bucks!
Q: What is an elf’s favorite candy?A: Orna-mints!
Q: What is an elf’s fav crispy snack?A: Jingle Pringles.
Q: How is Drake like an elf?A: He spends all his time wrapping!
Q: What does Mrs. Claus use to bake cakes?A: Elf-raising flour.
Q: How did the reindeer know it was going to rain?A: Because Rudolph the red-knows-rain, deer!
Q: What do elves eat for breakfast?A: Snowflakes!
Q: Who’s Santa Claus’s favorite pop star?A: It’s Beyon-sleigh.
Q: What do you call an elf that hides in a Christmas bakery?A: A mince spy!
Q: What is an elf’s favorite sport?A: North-pole vaulting.
Q: What sign hangs above the door of Santa’s elves’ workshop?A: Dance as elf there was no tomorrow!
Q: What do Santa’s helpers eat to warm up?A: Elf-abet soup.
Q: Where do elves go when they feel ill?A: The elf-centre!
Q: How do elves greet each other?A: Small world, isn’t it?
Q: What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?A: Kitchen u-tinsels!
Q: Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?A: He wanted to sleep like a log!
Q: What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?A: Elf-portraits!
Q: Why do elves like Dolls?A: They can share the clothes.
Q: What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?A: Ribbon Hood.
Q: What do you call a holistic elf doctor?A: A gnome-opath.
Q: How did the teacher tell the elves to line up before break time at school?A: In elf-abet-ical order!
Q: What do you call an elf entrepreneur?A: A small business owner.
Q: How did Santa get to be so famous?A: He’s an elf-made man.
Q: What do you call it when Santa and his elves go on a big ship to the Californian coast?A: A Santa Cruz.
Q: Whose music do elves like the most?A: Elf-is Presley.
Q: Where do elves go on holiday?A: Santa Fe.
Q: What do Santa’s elves say whenever they take a photo?A: Let’s take an elfie.
Q: What do the elves who work in Santa’s gardens do?A: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Q: If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?A: Shelf it for later.
Q: Why did Santa have to stop going down chimneys?A: He heard from the Elf and Safety Commission.
Q: Which elf is the best jazz singer?A: Elfa Fitzgerald.
Q: What sickness did the elf get from making Christmas decorations?A: Tinselitis.
Q: Where do elves go to get famous?A: Holly-wood.
Q: What do elves make their toys with?A: Utinsels.
Q: What do you do if you can’t hire a professional?A: Do it your elf.
Q: What did the one elf say to the other when he looked up at the sky?A: It looks like rain, dear.
Q: What does Santa use after trimming his beard?A: Elftershave.
Q: What does a great Christmas joke do?A: Sleigh you!
Q: What do elves say when they make mistakes?A: “I elfed up.”
Q: What do you call an elf’s butler?A: Elfred.
Q: What do Santa’s helpers tell someone who annoys them?A: “Elf off.
Q: What is an elf’s favorite pick-up line?A: Let me be your fantasy.
Q: How did Santa tell his elves to check their email?A: “First, yule log on…”
Q: Why did the elf pray?A: He wanted to connect with his higher elf.
Q: What’s an animal that never forgets Christmas?A: An elfant.
Q: What did Santa Claus say to the smoker?A: Please put that out, it’s bad for my elf.
Q: What is Santa’s helpers’ favorite convenience store?A: 7-Elelfen.
Q: What do elves use to take photos?A: An Elfie Stick.
Q: What did Santa tell his helpers when they listened in on his conversation?A: “Quit elves-dropping.”
Q: Why did Father Christmas have to shut his workshop one day?A: For an elf and safety check!
Q: What do vegetarian elves eat?A: Elfalfa.
Q: What do you call a badly behaved elf?A: A rebel without a Claus!
Q: What’s the best way to gain confidence?A: To believe in your elf.
Q: What did one angel say to the other angel?A: Halo-there.
Q: Where do elves vote?A: The North Poll.
Q: What do elves play during the summer?A: Little League Baseball.
Q: What do fish call Elf shenanigans leading up to Christmas?A: Elf on the Shelfish.
Q: How does Santa take care of his sick helpers?A: He nurses them back to Elf.
Q: What did the elf playing the piano say when someone complimented her skills?A: “Thanks; I’m elf-taught.”
Q: Which sort of elf makes their home in a fizzy drink can?A: A sprite!
Q: What did the elf get when he crosses an apple and a Christmas tree?A: A pineapple
Q: What’s an elf’s favorite cereal?A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk?A: Jingle smells.
Q: What happened to The Grumpy Elf when he took the Advent Calendar?A: He got 25 days!
Q: Why did the elf do so poorly in school?A: He had a short attention span.
Q: What did The Grumpy Elf say when another elf asked him for help?A: Go do it your elf!
Q: Where did Santa find the elf?A: On the shelf.
Q: What did The Grumpy Elf say to the Lunch Lady?A: Lettuce alone!
Q: Why was the elf so quick to anger?A: He had a short fuse.
Q: What detergent does Mrs. Claus wash the elves clothes in?A: Yule-Tide!
Q: Why did the elf make such a good house guest?A: He would only stay for a short time.
Q: What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?A: Yule be sorry!
Q: Why did the elf spell Christmas N-O-E?A: Because he overheard Santa say “No L” when he walked by.
Q: What kind of king does an elf like best?A: A stoc-king!
Q: If there was one elf and another 11 elves joined him, what would the last elf be?A: The twelf.
Q: What’s the difference between a Dwarf and an Elf?A: Very little!
Q: What was the elf’s reply to the person who said they had Grandma for Christmas dinner?A: Yuk – We had turkey.
Q: Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?A: At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Q: What did the elf do to lift his self-esteem?A: Read a self-elf book!
Q: What do they call a wild elf in Texas?A: Gnome on the range!
Q: What was the elf’s favorite desert?A: Short Cake.
Q: Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?A: He’s a gnome-opath!
Q: What did the doctor give the elf on the shelf after he hurt his leg?A: A Candy Cane.
Q: Did you hear about the Irish elf with a skin disease?A: He was a leper-chaun!
Q: Who sang “Blue Christmas”?A: Elfvis.
Q: Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?A: It was bad for his elf!
Q: What’s the first thing an elf learns in school?A: The elfabet.
Q: What do you call an elf walking backwards?A: A Fle!
Q: What was the elf allergic to?A: Sh-ELF-ish
Q: Why do elves cry?A: Because they are “Santa-mental”!
Q: How long was the elf’s legs?A: Long enough to reach the ground.
Q: Where do elves go to feel better?A: A n elf-farm!
Q: What kind of money did the elf on the shelf use?A: Jingle bills.
Q: What else do the elves like to say when they’re dancing?A: You’re sleigh-in’ it!
Q: What was the elf’s favorite sport?A: Miniature golf.
Q: What kind of cellphones do elves have?A: Sleighphones!
Q: What did the elf write on Christmas cards?A: Hope you have a Fairy Merry Christmas.
Q: What kind of mobile phones do elves use?A: Micro phones!
Q: What kind of bread did the elf make sandwiches with?A: Shortbread.
Q: What do the elves like to say when they’re dancing?A: Shake it like a pole-oriod picture!
Q: What did Santa call the greedy elf?A: Elfish
Q: What do elves sing to Frosty the Snowman to cheer him up?A: Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow
Q: How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?A: Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders.
Q: Who is the elves’ favorite pop star?A: Beyon-sleigh!
Q: Why does the elf on the shelf want to sneak into your school?A: To hear the ringing of the bells.
Q: What did Santa say to the sad elf?A: Don’t be little yourself!
Q: Why was the elf so cold on Christmas day?A: Because it’s in Decembrrrrr.
Q: What language do they teach at Elf School?A: North Polish!
Q: What brand of cookies does the elf on the shelf like most?A: Keebler (made by elves with elfin magic)
Q: What language did they teach the guppy at Elf School?A: Elfish!
Q: How did Santa describe the elf who refused to take a bath?A: He’s elfully smelly.
Q: What elf has the most books?A: A bookshElf!
Q: How did the elf get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop?A: He used the elfavator.
Q: What do elves say when their teacher calls their name for attendance?A: Present!
Q: What does the elf on the shelf use to write with on the blackboard?A: Chalk-olate.
Q: Why did the elf put super glue on his book?A: He wanted a story he couldn’t put down!
Q: What was the elf on the shelf’s favorite Olympic event?A: North Pole-vault
Q: Where do elves go to learn?A: Nowhere! They’re Ho-Ho-Homeschooled!
Q: What is green, white, and red all over?A: An elf with a sunburn.
Q: Why don’t elves read books?A: Because they like short stories better!
Q: Why does the elf on the shelf do such silly things?A: Because he can!
Q: What else do the elves say when Santa makes a decision?A: Claus he said so!
Q: What did the elf say when he won the lottery?A: Christmas be my lucky day.
Q: What do all the elves say when Santa makes a decision?A: Well, he does have the final sleigh, after all!
Q: Why is the elf on the shelf’s favorite school subject?A: Spilling.
Q: What do the elves call it when they all clap for their boss?A: Santapplause!
Q: Where did the elf go to school?A: He was elf-taught.
Q: What do you call an elf who rides the subway to work?A: A metro-gnome!
Q: What was the name of the girl elf on the shelf?A: Miss Chievous.
Q: How do the elves keep Kris Kringle’s sleigh COVID-free?A: They clean it with Santa-tizer!
Q: What’s Santa’s tax status?A: Elf-employed.
Q: Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in?A: Mini vans!
Q: Why does Santa owe everything to the elves?A: Because he’s an elf-made man.
Q: Why does Santa shut his workshop one day every year?A: For an elf and safety inspection!
Q: Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?A: Because he had the drum sticks!
Q: What do you call an elf who’s won the lottery?A: Welfy.
Q: Why do Santa’s elves get called eves at Christmas time?A: Because there is Noel.
Q: What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?A: A real Christmas card.
Q: Why do elves make good listeners?A: Because they’re all ears.
Q: Where do you find elves?A: Depends on where you left them!
Q: If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?A: Mistle-toe.
Q: Did you hear about the elf who got pickpocketed?A: I had no idea it was possible to stoop so low.
Q: What do you call an elf who sings?A: A wrapper.
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?A: Shortbread
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?A: “Wrap” music.
Q: Why do Santa’s elves give Santa so much respect?A: They all look up to him.
Q: What kind of cars do elves drive?A: Toy-otas.
Q: What’s another name for Santa’s helpers?A: Subordinate clauses!
Q: Where do elves go dancing?A: Christmas balls.
Q: When is the best time to give someone an elf as a gift?A: On the twelf night of Christmas.
Q: What’s the first thing elves learn in school?A: The “elf“-abet!
Q: Who is an elf’s favorite rapper?A: Too Short.Q: What is an elf’s favorite filmmaker?
A: Elfred Hitchcock.
Q: What kind of photographs do elves like taking?A: Elfies.
Do you have more elf jokes for kids that you think we should add to the list? Be sure to share them in the comments!
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