97 Funny Farm Jokes You'll Love

Oh, you’re in for a “moo-velous” treat with farm jokes that are sure to please. Farm jokes are a whole different field, you know? They’re ripe for the pickin’, and I’ve got a crop of ’em! So pull up a bale of hay and get ready to laugh til the cows come home.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! Ah, farm jokes. They’re the cream of the “crop,” and perfect for when you’re just trying to “plow” through your day. These are sure to bring a little sunshine to your barnyard!

For more jokes and laughs, be sure to check out our Racing Jokes and our Zoo Jokes For Kids.

Do your kids love jokes?

Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These make great lunch box jokes, joke card series, bedtime laughs, and more!

Grab your set now! There are over 50+ pages of jokes included! This is a digital download, so it is easy! Just download, print, and enjoy!

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Best Farm Jokes

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Q: What do you call an arctic cow? An eskimoooo!
Q: Why did the chick get sent off during a game of football? It committed a fowl.
Q: What should the farmer say to the cow when it comes in his way? Mooooove.
Q: Did you hear about the wooden tractor? It had wooden wheels, a wooden engine, wooden transmission and wooden work.
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A Bulldozer.
Q: What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows? What a miss-steak.
Q: What is a farmer’s favorite Bruce Springsteen song? Born in the USDA.
Q: What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries

Q: What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!
Q: Why did the cow go to the spa? She really needed some re-hoove-ination!
Q: Where do cows go for lunch? The calf-etaria.
Q: What do you call the spirit of a dead hen haunting a farm? A poultry-geist.
Q: Who tells chicken jokes? Comedi-hen
Q: Where will you find the most cows? Moo York.
Q: What do you call a small pork farm? A hamlet.
Q: What’s the quietest animal on a farm? A ssshhheep.
“ As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep. I’d tell them to my dog but he’d herd them all.”
Q: How did the organic vegetable die? Natural causes.
Q: What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor? A transfarmer.
Q: Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field!
Q: What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

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Q: Why did the pig dump her boyfriend? Because he was a real BOAR.
Q: Where do cows and pigs work? At a Farm-acy.
Q: Why did the pig take a bath? The farmer said “hogwash”.
Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.
Q: How was the Doritos farm? It was a cool ranch.
Q: Why is rabbit farming a terrifying profession? Every day is a hare-raising experience.
Q: What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup.
Q: What do you get when you pamper a cow? Spoiled milk.
Q: What do cows read in the morning? The moos-paper.
Q: What did the farmer say when his fat pig wouldn’t fit into the pen? “There’s more there than meets the sty.”
Q: Why are farmers cruel? Because they pull corn by the ears.
Q: Why did the farmer plow her field with a steamroller? Because she wanted to grow mashed potatoes!
“A friend of mine has started making yachts to sell in his barn. Sails are going through the roof.”
Q: What do you call when someone died making butter on his farm? It was a really unfortunate churn of events.
Q: Why didn’t the farmer laugh at any of these jokes? Because they’re too corny.
Q: What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? He got a hot-diggity-dog!
Q: Did you hear about the wooden tractor? It had wooden wheels, a wooden engine, wooden transmission and wooden work!
Q: What grows under your nose? Tulips!
“Farmer John is so interested in conserving energy, he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it, though. Every time he turns a corner, the tires squeal.”
Q: Where do farmers send their kids to grow? Kinder-garden.

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Q: What did the farmer call his cow? Pat.
Q: What type of horses only go out at night? Nightmares!
Q: Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends think you look great.
“ I went into the barn and saw the pigs dancing. They were putting on a performance of Swine Lake.”
Q: What do you call a magic cow? Moodini.
Q: What do you call a cow with full armor? Sir loin.
“The local horse has an amazing mane. Maybe she was barn with it, or maybe it’s neighbelline.”
“I went into the barn and saw the pigs dancing. They were putting on a performance of Swine Lake.”
“I used to never be able to use the wifi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn. Now I have a stable connection.”
Q: Why did the cabbage win the race? Because it was ahead!
Q: No farm building should ever, under any circumstances, be used as a convent… Barn nun.
“ Grain farmers have a tough life. They barley survive from wheat to wheat.”
Q: What is a horse’s favorite sport? Stable tennis!
“If a cow laughed really hard… would milk come out of her nose? “
Q: Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Q: What do you call a cow with no calf? Decaffeinated.
Q: What are the spots on black and white cows? Stains.
Q: Why did the farmer bury his money in a field? He wanted to make his soil rich.
Q: What new crop did the farmer plant? Beets me!
Q: What is a sheep’s favorite game? Baa-dminton!

Q: How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
Q: What do you call a dog on the farm? A Corn Dog.
Q: What do you call the boss at Old McDonald’s Farm? The CIEIO.
Q: How do farmers party? They turnip.
“I tried to navigate the farmer’s field… But it was a maize.”
Q: What did the corn farmer say after a good harvest? There’s polenta more where that came from.
Q: Why did the farmer call his pig “Ink”? Because it was always running out of the pen.
Q: What do you get when you cross a farmer and some trendy headphones? Beets by Dre.
Q: What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A Zebra!
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Q: What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? “You take me for grunted.”
Q: What kind of pigs know karate? Pork chops!
Q: Why can’t the bankrupt farmer complain? Because he’s got no beef.
Q: What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.
“Being a farmer isn’t for everyone, but hay, it’s in my jeans.”
Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An eggroll!
Q: Why do the farmers go to watch movies often? To watch the trailers.
Q: What’s a potato’s least favorite day of the week but your favorite? Fry-day!

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
Q: Why do cows like being told farmer jokes? Because they like being aMOOsed
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
Q: Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field.
Q: Where does a farmer get his medicine from? The farm-acist.
Q: Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
Q: Where do horses go when they’re sick? To the horsepital!
Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out standing in his field.
Q: What do you call the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm? Bison-tennial.
Q: What happens when you run out of manure on a farm? You have to make doo.
Q: Why were the baby strawberries crying? Their ma and pa were in a jam.
Q: What do farmers use to make crop circles? A Protractor
Q: What kind of file lives on a farm? JPIG.
Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor!
Q: What kind of things does a farmer talk about when milking cows? Udder nonsense
Q: Which farm animal keeps the best time? A watch dog!

Do you have even more fun farm jokes to make us laugh? Share them in the comments so we can chuckle too!

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97 Funny Farm Jokes You’ll Love