Tuesday Jokes

Share a laugh with a friend!

“Kickstart your Tuesday with a smile! Dive into our Tuesday Jokes collection for a burst of laughter that will energize your week. From clever one-liners to funny quips, our jokes are designed to bring a little joy and laughter into your Tuesday routine. Share them with coworkers, family, or friends and spread the cheer!

Tuesday Jokes

  • Q: Why didn’t the French chef realize it was pancake Tuesday? It Crêpe’d up on him.
  • Q: What do you call a Tuesday that acts like a Monday? A two-faced day!
  • Q: Why isn’t Tuesday the saddest day of the week? Because 4 days later is a sadder day.
  • Q: What’s Tuesday’s go-to musical genre? It’s all about “Blues-day” tunes, perfect for grooving to those midweek vibes!
  • Q: When doesn’t Tuesday start with a “T”? When it’s Yesterday.
  • Q: When did Sherlock Holmes solve the mystery? On a Cluesday.
  • Q: What day’s the best for giving a dog a bone? Chews-day.
  • Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank on Tuesday? To get a quarterback.
  • Q: What does a clean Tuesday mean? A cluttered next weekend!
  • Q: What do Tuesdays always love to do? They like to put the blame on Mondays.
  • Q: Why did the vegetable salad say to a fruit juice on a Tuesday morning? “They say it is our day, TossedDay!
  • Friend: what day is today? Me: Tuesday. Friend: woah, even Einstein can’t answer that. Me: why? Friend: because he’s dead
  • Q: Why were Taco Tuesdays introduced? So people could taco ’bout it the whole week.
  • Q: Why did the Mexican restaurant get such a great review on Tuesday night? It was nacho average Taco Tuesday!
  • Q: Why do stadiums get hot on Tuesday after a Monday night game? The fans left.
  • Q: What day should you wear flip-flop sandals? Toesday!
  • Q: How can people grow to like Tuesday? By realizing that it’s the farthest day from the next Monday.
  • Q: What follows four days of rain in Seattle? Tuesday
  • Q: How do you make time go fast on Tuesday? Throw a clock.
  • Q: Why was everyone looking for Lipton? It was Teasday.

Don’t forget to subscribe to our email list so that you know when we add more great jokes to the site that will leave you laughing for hours!

Grab Your
Sign up for our email list and get these joke cards delivered right to your inbox! 
Great! Check your email to confirm your subscription and grab your joke cards!

How Do I Access My Joke Cards?

Fill in the form above. You will receive an email in your inbox. If you don’t see it check your spam folder! You will then click to confirm your subscription. Once confirmed, you will be taken to Airtable (a different website) where all our free printables will be waiting for you! It is free to sign up for Air Table!

How Do I Print A PDF?

You’ll need a program that supports PDFs. Adobe Acrobat is a great option. Open the program, click file, then print. Select your printer and the number of copies you want to print. Be sure you click double-sided if you want it to print on both sides. 

Can I Resell These?

You may not resell any printable that you find on our website or in our resource library. You may use them for class parties, at church, at home, or in the classroom. You may get these printed at an office supply store or copy center at your own expense.

  • Q: Why don’t Tuesdays participate in races? Because they always come third after Sundays and Mondays.
  • Q: Is there anything better than a ‘happy Monday’? A very ‘happy Tuesday’ indeed.  
  • Q: What did the weeks say to the boy when he was really worried about Tuesday? “Don’t worry, Friday is on its way”.
  • Q: How many days did it take for Sunday to reach Wednesday? Twosday.
  • Q: What’s a golfer’s favorite day of the week? Tee-sday.
  • Q: What does Taco Tuesday say to Dunkin Donuts? I have fillings too.
  • Q: Why didn’t “Get up and Go” attend the party on Tuesday? Because he ‘Got up and Went’ somewhere else.
  • Q: What sounds better than a ‘happy Monday’? A very ‘happy Tuesday’ indeed.
  • Q: What is the best Tuesday motivation?  Thinking that there is a taco, out there thinking of you too.
  • Q: When should you never annoy a lawyer? On a Suesday.
  • Q: Why do Brits pronounce Tuesday as Chooseday? Because they drank the T.
  • Q: What’s the best day of the week to listen to music? Tunes-day.
  • Q: Why were One and Three envious of Two? Because it was Two’s day.
  • Q: What’s the worst thing about Fridays? Realizing it’s only Tuesday.
  • Q: What do cows do on Tuesday night? They go to the moo-vies.
  • Q: On what day of the week do most tennis games tie at 40-all? Deuce-day.
  • Q: What’s so special about the 22nd of each month? It’s two’s day.
  • Q: What is a ballerina’s favorite day of the week? Tu-Tuesday.
  • Q: On what day of the week, do monsters eat people? Chewsday.
  • Q: What’s a dentist’s favorite day of the week? Tooths-day.
  • Q: Why is a Tuesday morning not bad? Because it is a sign that one has survived through the previous Monday morning!
  • Q: What is the case of a bad Monday called on a Tuesday morning? A pre-existing condition.
  • Q: What is a stuttering ballerina’s favorite day of the week? Tu-Tu Tuesday
  • Q: When do stores sell the most tea? On Teas-day.
  • Q: What do you do when your baby chews food for the first time on Tuesday? You call it a ‘Chewsday’.
  • Q: What is the other name of Tuesday? Day 2 of the hostage situation.
  • Q: Did you hear about the construction joke that began on Tuesday? They’re still working on it.
  • Q: What’s the bright side of Tuesday? It only happens once a week.
  • Q: Why can’t you change the decision of a seal saying “Tuesdays are the best”? Because it is a seal of approval.
  • Q: Why did the employee worry about his Friday being ruined? Because it was still Tuesday morning.
  • Q: What’s the worst sport to play on Tuesday? Bad-minton.
  • Q: What did the Krispy Kreme donut sign say on Taco Tuesday? Don’t forget about us today, we have fillings too…
  • Q: How do you make a Tuesday better? You can Choose (Tues)day and just go with it until Friday.
  • Q: What day of the week do you dress like a ballerina? Tutus-day.
  • Q: Why did the cup of coffee dial 911 on Tuesday? Because it got a taste of the “mug” life – talk about a “grounds” for alarm!
  • Q: What is common between eggs and Tuesday? One can make a scrambled breakfast and the other can scramble your week.
  • Q: When’s the best day to watch cartoons? Toons-day.
  • Q: When did the King have his jousting contests? On Tuesday Knight.
  • Q: Why didn’t Superman eat the nachos at tonight’s taco Tuesday dinner? He’s afraid of that chip-tonight.
  • Q: What comes after Tuesday? Threesday.
  • Q: What’s a handyman’s favorite day of the week? Tools-day.
  • Q: How do you make Tuesday zip by like a rocket? Give it a head start by racing it with Wednesday!
  • Q: Why can’t the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday? Because they have tuesday(to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.
  • Q: Why was the math book sad on Tuesday? Because it had too many problems.
  • Q: Why did Tuesday start going to the gym? She was a weak day.
  • Q: What does it mean when you wake up on Tuesday morning? That you made it though another Monday!
  • Q: What is Tuesday? A Monday but with steel-toed boots and a slightly lower aim.
  • Q: What did the ocean say to the beach on Tuesday? Nothing. It just waved.
  • Q: What’s a frat boy’s favorite day of the week? Dudes-day.
  • Q: What’s the worst sound on Tuesday morning? Alarm clocks.
  • Q: Why do potatoes love Tuesdays? Because it’s Tater-Tuesday!
  • Q: How do you keep dreams alive on Tuesdays? By hitting the snooze button.
  • Q: On which day of the week is it the hardest to lie? Truthsday.
  • Q: Why did the calendar go to therapy? Because it was stuck on Tuesday!
  • Q: Why did the couple have to spend the whole day together? It was Twos-day.
  • Q: Why was the computer late for work on Tuesday? It had a hard drive.
  • Q: What is the best Tuesday motivation? Thinking that there is a taco, out there in the universe thinking of you too!

Love Jokes? Laugh with These!

Share a laugh with a friend!

Leave a Comment