Monday Jokes

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Monday jokes serve as a lighthearted antidote to the often-dreaded start of the week, offering a humorous perspective on the challenges and idiosyncrasies associated with Mondays. They range from playful jabs at the morning alarm struggle to witty observations about the rush to get back into the work or school routine.

By injecting humor into a day typically associated with stress and grogginess, Monday jokes help ease the transition from weekend relaxation to weekday productivity. Sharing jokes can foster a sense of camaraderie and uplift spirits, making the start of the week more bearable and even enjoyable.

The Best Monday Jokes To Help Kick Off Your Week

  • Q: Why couldn’t the ghost leave school on Monday? A: It was the school spirit.
  • Q: What’s the most annoying thing for NFL players starting the week? A: Monday morning quarterbacks
  • Q: Why was Sunday afraid of Monday? A: Because Monday through Friday.
  • Q: Why was the broom late for work on Monday morning? A: It over-swept.
  • Q: What’s the best part of Monday? A: The end.
  • Just once I want to wake up on Monday morning, turn on the news, and hear: “Monday’s been canceled go back to bed.”
  • Q: Who wins in a fight between Sunday and Monday? A: Sunday because Monday is a weakday.
  • Q: How do cheeses greet each other on Monday mornings? A: Have a Gouda week.
  • Q: What is the best way to describe Monday? A: Monday-ne!
  • Q: Did you hear about that shortest horror story? A: It is titled ‘Monday’.
  • Q: Why were Mondays created? A: To punish us for the things we did over the weekend.
  • Everybody has their favorite villain. Monday is mine.
  • Q: Why do you have to go to work on Mondays? A: It’s Monday-tory.
  • Q: Guess who is so excited that today is Monday? A: That’s right! Not me!
  • Q: Which day of the week can women take off anytime? A: Men-day.
  • The only thing worse than Friday the 13th is Monday the 13th. It’s a much spookier day.
  • Q: If a man arrived in a town with his horse on a Saturday and stayed there for one night, how is it possible that he arrived back home on Monday? A: The horse’s name was Monday!
  • Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Imagine if we had two Mondays every week!
  • Q: In a galaxy far, far away, who is always eager to start a new work week? A: The Mondaylorians.
  • Q: What did the calendar manufacturer do after creating an entry for Monday? A: They called it a day.
  • Q: How do you live the dream on Monday? A: Keep sleeping.
  • Q: When do jewelry stores sell the most items? A: Dia-Monday.
  • Q: What kind of music is most popular on Monday? A: Instru-Monday-l music.
  • Q: Why do employees get discouraged after 6 months on the job? A: After 24 weeks, they have a case of Mondays!
  • There’s a Friday for every Monday. Have a great week.
  • Q: What is the worst Monday one can have? A:  The next one.
  • Q: Why was the acid so rude on Monday? A: He was a-mean-o-acid
  • Q: Why does Gordon Ramsay not like WWE on Monday Nights? A: Because it’s RAW!
  • Q: Why didn’t the zombie go to school on Monday? A: It was feeling rotten.
  • Q: What do hens think about Mondays? A: Eggshausted.
  • Q: What’s long, hard, and waiting for you? A: Monday and it’s just around the corner.
  • Q: Which day of the week makes werewolves howl? A: Moonday!
  • If you ever see me smiling on a Monday, know that an alien has killed me and is wearing my skin as a disguise.
  • Q: Which day of the week is more depressing than Monday? A: Sadder-day.
  • Q: What do shellfish say at the beginning of each week? A: Oh crab, it’s Monday.
  • Q: Why was the acid so rude on Monday? A: He was a-mean-o-acid
  • Q: On Monday mornings, what does the executioner say? A: Time to beheaded to work.
  • Q: When can’t people think clearly? A: Mon-daze.
  • Q: What should come with all Mondays? A: A gift receipt.
  • Q: Why does Santa hand out candy canes on Mondays? A: For encourage-mint.
  • Q: Why did the magicians in class get the best mark on their test on Monday? A: They got all of the trick questions right!
  • Q: What did the Cyclops say when he was told to wake up for school on Monday morning? A: “Eye don’t want to get up!”
  • Q: Why did the robot have some trouble focusing at school on Monday? A: He was a little rusty!
  • Q: How do you make time go fast on Monday? A: Throw a clock.
  • Q: Why was the pirate excited for school on Monday?A: He had arrrrt class.
  • Q: What do you call it when you feel like you’ve experienced this Monday before? A: Mon-déjà vu.
  • Q: Why do fishermen catch barramundi on a Monday? A: Because if they caught it a day later, they would have to call it barratuesdi.
  • Q: What is the most depressing sound on a Monday morning? A: Alarm clocks.
  • Q: How do you make time go fast on Monday? A: Throw a clock!
  • Q: What is Avogadro’s favorite day of the week? A: Moleday.
  • One day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours. The same as one Monday on Earth.
  • Q: Who wins in a fight, Sunday or Monday? A: Sunday because Monday is a weekday.
  • Q: Where does Monday come before Sunday? A: A dictionary.
  • Q: Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday? A: He wanted to be a Smartie!
  • Q: What’s the best day of the week for NASA to launch a rocket? A: Moon-day.
  • Q: What do cats call the beginning of the week? A: Meow-nday.
  • Q: Why did the skeleton do such a poor job in school on Mondays? A: His heart wasn’t in it.
  • “Yay, Monday!” Said no one… Ever.
  • Q: Hello Monday, can I ask you a question? A: You’re always in a hurry to come back, don’t you think it would be lovely if you got a hobby?
  • Q: What did the cashew say on Monday morning? A: “Mondays always drive me nuts!”
  • Q: Which day of the week are demons most tired? A: De-Monday, just like everyone else.
  • Q: Why are Mondays and Tuesdays the most productive days of the week? A: Because after that it is WTF.
  • Q: Why was the root vegetable so happy on Monday? A: He was up-beet!
  • Q: Why was the tortilla chip sad at the start of the week? A: It had a queso the Mondays.
  • If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring. No one would ever want to watch it.
  • “I think I’m allergic to Monday.”
  • Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness.
  • Q: What kind of movie would Monday be? A: A long and boring one.
  • Q: What’s the worst way to spend a seventh of your life? A: Monday.
  • Q: What do you call Mondays when there aren’t any zoom meetings?  A: Meetless Mondays.
  • Q: Why do fish always congregate on Mondays? A: It’s the start of the school week.
  • Q: Why did the magicians in class get the best mark on their test on Monday? A: They got all of the trick questions right.
  • Q: Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the start of the week? A: He was Monday laundering!
  • Q: What’s the worst Monday you can have? A: The next one.
  • Q: What’s worse than a rainy Friday? A: A sunny Monday.
  • Q: What did the pinto bean say at lunchtime on Monday? A: It’s bean a long day.
  • Q: What’s the best time to get a discount on robotic parts? A: Cyborg Monday.
  • Q: What happened to the witches who broke the school rules on Monday? A: They got ex-spelled!
  • Q: What subject did the snake learn in school on Monday? A: Hiss-tory!
  • Knock! Knock!
    Who’s there?
    Voodoo who?
    Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?
  • Q: Is there anything Sonic needs on Mondays? A: Hedge-hugs.
  • Q: How much is one day on Venus? A: It is 5,832 hours on Earth which is the same as a Monday on Earth. A: Nope!
  • Q: What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays? A: Unemployed.
  • Q; What’s the bright side of Mondays? A: It only happens once a week.Q: Why does Spider-Man only fight crime 6 days a week? A: Because Garfield doesn’t like Mondays.
  • Q: What do kids do on Mondays during vacation? A: The same thing they do every other day!

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