The Best Basketball Jokes That Shoot Hoops of Humor

Hey hoopsters and basketball lovers! Are you ready to shoot some hoops of humor with basketball jokes that score nothing but net? In the game of laughs, a slam dunk isn’t just about the points; it’s about cracking up so hard that even the basketball gets a case of the giggles. Why was the basketball court all wet? Because the players kept dribbling on it! Discover this basketball joke and more as we score big in the laugh department.

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Picture a court where every bounce of the ball is synced with a beat of laughter. Here, the players aren’t just skilled in three-pointers and free throws; they’re pros at delivering punchlines. What do you call a basketball player who misses dunks? Alley-oops!

In this league, the only traveling violation is moving between jokes without a chuckle. Whether you’re a seasoned baller or just a fan on the sidelines, these basketball jokes are your fast break to fun.

So lace up those sneakers, get your game face on, and let’s dribble our way through a playbook of laughs. Whether you’re playing pickup games or just shooting hoops in your driveway, these basketball jokes are sure to bring the MVP – Most Valuable Punchlines – to your day. Get ready, because we’re about to take a full-court press into laughter!

Love to laugh? Be sure to check out some of our other favorite jokes like our Funny Farm Jokes and our racing jokes.

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The Best Basketball Jokes

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Q: Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? Because that would be traveling.
Q: Why can’t you get a fairly officiated basketball game in the jungle? Because of the cheetahs.
Q: What’s the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: Which basketball player works at a deli? Kobe Salami.
Q: Which are the best animals in basketball? A score-pion.
Q: What do you call a shrimp that’s really good at basketball? Leprawn James.
Q: What do you call a basketball that can’t stop spinning? A dizzy dunk.

Q: Why hasn’t Europe ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Europe isn’t a country.
Q: Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens? He was learning how to draw fowls.
Q: What is harder to catch the faster you run? Your breath!
Q: Why did the elephants stampede onto the basketball court? They played for the Chargers.
Q: Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to the game? Because he traveled a lot!
Q: Why do basketball players love cookies and milk? Because they can dunk them!
Q: Why did the coach kick Cinderella off the basketball team? Because she kept running away from the ball!
Q: What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans? Treasury bonds eventually mature.
Q: What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring? A senior citizen.
Q: What did the devil worshiping basketball player say? “Baal is life.”
Q: What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Ummh, shooting stars.
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans!
Q: What do an angry rabbit and an NBA player have in common? Mad hops.

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Q: Where do point guards take their girlfriends to dance? Basket Balls!
Q: Why can’t you play basketball with pigs? Because they always hog the ball!
Q: Did you hear about that bloody hilarious basketball team? The Hemoglobetrotters?
Q: Why did the basketball team join a craft club? Because they wanted to learn how to make baskets!
Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters? Because they’re always dribbling!
Q: What does a Timberwolves fan do after winning the Finals? Turn off the Playstation and go to bed.
Q: What did the triangle offense say to the ball? “You’re pointless.”
Q: Why are babies good at basketball? Because they’re always dribbling!
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game? They stand close to the fans!
Q: Why does Jesus get nervous when playing basketball? He’s afraid of getting crossed up.
Q: Why is a referee like an angry chicken? They both have foul mouths.
Q: Why were the basketball team’s jerseys so full of static? The team was out of bounce.
Q: Frogs are good at basketball for what reason? Jumping.
Q: If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear? Depends.
Q: What did the basketball say to its coach? “I can make the shot. I hoop you trust me.”
Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters? Because they are always dribbling!
Q: What do cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game? Root beer!
Q: What is Santa’s favorite basketball team? The New York Old St. Nicks.
Q: What’s the first meal of the day called for basketball players? Fast Breaks!
Q: What do you do when you see an elephant driving down the lane with a basketball? Get out of the way.

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Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move? Jump hook.
Q: What kinds of stories do basketball players tell? Tall tales!
Q: Why did the basketball player go to jail? Because he shot the ball!
Q: Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball? Her coach is a pumpkin.
Q: What does a Bulls fan do after watching his team win? Rewind the tape.
Q: What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship? Rewind the VHS tape.
Q: Did you hear the Atlanta Hawks don’t have a website? They can’t string three W’s together.
Q: In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full? Basketball!
Q: Why was the basketball court wet? Because people were dribbling on it!
Q: What does a Cavs fan do when his team wins the NBA Finals? Turn off the Xbox One.
Q: What does a hunter do with a basketball? He shoots it!
Q: What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV? The Minnesota Timberwolves.
Q: What do you call a shark that plays basketball? A Sharq.
Q: What’s the difference between Kevin McHale and time? Time passes.
Q: What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball? A Kobe Shinobi!
Q: What do you call a pig who plays basketball? A ball hog.
Q: Where do basketball players get their uniforms from? New Jersey!
Q: What do you say when you miss a basket? Shoot!
Q: Why did the ball hog fail his chemistry test? He didn’t like to pass.
Q: Who was the poet of basketball? Longfellow.

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Q: What do you call a basketball player who smells really good? Kevin Deodurant.
Q: What do you call a basketball that’s on fire? A hot shot.
Q: What do basketball players do when they can no longer see? They become referees.
Q: What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks? Alley Whoops.
Q: Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court? It’s always getting tentacle fouls.
Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals? The Detroit Pistons.
Q: Why don’t fish like basketball? They’re afraid of the nets.
Q: What is the urologist’s favorite part in basketball? The dribbles.
Q: Did you hear about the referee who got fired from the NBA? Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.
Q: What do you call a basketball player who doesn’t take a shower? A stinker dunker.
Q: Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team? Because then New York City would want one, too.
Q: How did the guy with no hair do during his basketball game? Oh, he bald.
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Q: What did March say to all the madness? What’s all that bracket?
Q: Where is a basketball player’s favorite place to eat? Dunkin’ Donuts.
Q: What type of cheese do basketball players love? Swish cheese.
Q: Why are basketball players always afraid of the dark? Because they’re always shooting in the darkness.
Q: What do you call a fantasy show about basketball? Hooper-natural.
Q: What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common? They both get negative returns.
Q: How do you know when it’s LeBron James’ Birthday? Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.

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Q: Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team? Because then New York City would want one too.
Q: Why did Ron Artest leave the game early? He wanted to beat the crowd.
Q: What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
Q: Why’d the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fouls.
Q: What violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball? Ghoul tending.
Q: How do you make a basketball angry? You just give it a pump fake.
Q: If a basketball player gets an athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
Q: Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team? He didn’t get picked.
Q: What is the favorite sport of a bass fish? Bass-get-ball.

Do you love basketball jokes like we do? Share them in the comments so we can laugh too!

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